How to Deal with Narcissists in the Workplace
Thank them for their “ideas” and carry on., Take advantage of their egos., Be cautious of false flattery., Document your ideas., Keep your personal life private., Deflect their attention-seeking.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Thank them for their “ideas” and carry on.
It can be hard to hear over and over again from your coworker that they have the best concept for a new project, or how you should really work with them to improve your skills.
Rather than trying to get them to stop, take the passive route.
Express your gratitude for their “help” and keep moving.
You might say, “That sounds like a great idea.
I’ll think about that” or “Hmmm…I didn’t look at it that way.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.” -
Step 2: Take advantage of their egos.
Narcissists are known for being egomaniacs.
You can leverage this seemingly negative trait, however.
Stroke their ego a bit and use their high-confidence for the benefit of your team or office.
Say, “You’re such a persuasive speaker, Jan.
Why don’t you close the deal?” Get the narcissist to pitch to clients.
Have them take the lead on presentations.
These people love to be in the spotlight, so use that to your advantage., As a rule of thumb, narcissists are self-absorbed and mainly out for themselves.
They also lack empathy and have trouble relating to the emotional experience of others.
What that means is they may manipulate you and have a hard time understanding why that’s not okay.Watch out for overly admiring compliments.
If a narcissist strokes your ego, there’s a chance they want something from you.
Your response to them should be quick and subdued.
Say a quick, "Thank you," and move on.
Don't allow them to continue their efforts.
When a narcissist has used you to advance themselves, they will forget you exist. , Narcissists have a tendency to hog the credit.
To prevent this annoying characteristic from getting in the way of your work performance, be sure to note all your ideas on paper or through email.
That way, you’ll have clear proof that your idea was lifted when they try to claim it as their own.Additionally, keep proof of which tasks were assigned to you and which were delegated to your narcissistic coworker so that they cannot blame their under-performance on you.
Consider sending an email after every meeting so that you can have documentation of what what discussed.
This also allows you to add things that you want to discuss but may not have been able to say in the meeting because you were unable to get your point across due the the narcissist's need to dominate the discussion.
Keep the evidence in a file so that you can easily access it if you need to prove the work you've done. , Narcissists are skilled at teasing out sensitive information to use against you later.
Protect yourself by maintaining a detached, surface-level relationship with this person.
No matter how genuine they seem, you will not be able to buddy up to them unless they have a purpose for you.
Find emotional support elsewhere.Make a list of safe topics to discuss with them, such as sports, weather, events in the news, and other mundane topics.
It's important that you maintain a pleasant working relationship with them, so interact with them in a friendly manner. , Narcissists crave attention, so it’s common for them to try to get it from those around them.
While you may indulge them occasionally to keep the peace, you need to set boundaries to keep them from dominating your time and eroding your sanity.
When you have a meeting with them, schedule it close to another meeting that you can use as an excuse to leave on time.
Choose a meeting that is less formal so that you don’t have the threat of looking bad at work hanging over your head.
Acknowledge what they are saying and move on without continuing the conversation.
Say, “That’s great!” “I’m glad to hear your idea was successful!” “At least it’s almost Friday!” or “I hope it gets better.” If you can, find a designated “escape” place to do your work on days that your narcissistic coworker is persistently bothering you. -
Step 3: Be cautious of false flattery.
-
Step 4: Document your ideas.
-
Step 5: Keep your personal life private.
-
Step 6: Deflect their attention-seeking.
Detailed Guide
It can be hard to hear over and over again from your coworker that they have the best concept for a new project, or how you should really work with them to improve your skills.
Rather than trying to get them to stop, take the passive route.
Express your gratitude for their “help” and keep moving.
You might say, “That sounds like a great idea.
I’ll think about that” or “Hmmm…I didn’t look at it that way.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.”
Narcissists are known for being egomaniacs.
You can leverage this seemingly negative trait, however.
Stroke their ego a bit and use their high-confidence for the benefit of your team or office.
Say, “You’re such a persuasive speaker, Jan.
Why don’t you close the deal?” Get the narcissist to pitch to clients.
Have them take the lead on presentations.
These people love to be in the spotlight, so use that to your advantage., As a rule of thumb, narcissists are self-absorbed and mainly out for themselves.
They also lack empathy and have trouble relating to the emotional experience of others.
What that means is they may manipulate you and have a hard time understanding why that’s not okay.Watch out for overly admiring compliments.
If a narcissist strokes your ego, there’s a chance they want something from you.
Your response to them should be quick and subdued.
Say a quick, "Thank you," and move on.
Don't allow them to continue their efforts.
When a narcissist has used you to advance themselves, they will forget you exist. , Narcissists have a tendency to hog the credit.
To prevent this annoying characteristic from getting in the way of your work performance, be sure to note all your ideas on paper or through email.
That way, you’ll have clear proof that your idea was lifted when they try to claim it as their own.Additionally, keep proof of which tasks were assigned to you and which were delegated to your narcissistic coworker so that they cannot blame their under-performance on you.
Consider sending an email after every meeting so that you can have documentation of what what discussed.
This also allows you to add things that you want to discuss but may not have been able to say in the meeting because you were unable to get your point across due the the narcissist's need to dominate the discussion.
Keep the evidence in a file so that you can easily access it if you need to prove the work you've done. , Narcissists are skilled at teasing out sensitive information to use against you later.
Protect yourself by maintaining a detached, surface-level relationship with this person.
No matter how genuine they seem, you will not be able to buddy up to them unless they have a purpose for you.
Find emotional support elsewhere.Make a list of safe topics to discuss with them, such as sports, weather, events in the news, and other mundane topics.
It's important that you maintain a pleasant working relationship with them, so interact with them in a friendly manner. , Narcissists crave attention, so it’s common for them to try to get it from those around them.
While you may indulge them occasionally to keep the peace, you need to set boundaries to keep them from dominating your time and eroding your sanity.
When you have a meeting with them, schedule it close to another meeting that you can use as an excuse to leave on time.
Choose a meeting that is less formal so that you don’t have the threat of looking bad at work hanging over your head.
Acknowledge what they are saying and move on without continuing the conversation.
Say, “That’s great!” “I’m glad to hear your idea was successful!” “At least it’s almost Friday!” or “I hope it gets better.” If you can, find a designated “escape” place to do your work on days that your narcissistic coworker is persistently bothering you.
About the Author
Judy Jones
A seasoned expert in government, Judy Jones combines 2 years of experience with a passion for teaching. Judy's guides are known for their clarity and practical value.
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