How to Build Self‐Control
Recognize impulsive thoughts., Place time restrictions on impulsive thoughts., Try belly breathing., Find a healthy distraction., Have a go-to activity.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Recognize impulsive thoughts.
Having strategies to help you resist temptation in the moment will help you build self-control.
Start by making a list of the behaviors you’d like to control and the situations that often trigger the behavior.By recognizing the moments when you get the urge to act impulsively, you’ll be more equipped to create a delay between the urge and action. -
Step 2: Place time restrictions on impulsive thoughts.
Creating space in your thinking will help you reevaluate your actions from a more rational viewpoint.
This will also help you learn how to create a delay in your actions instead of just acting upon your urges.
For example, if spending money or shopping is one of the areas that you want to build self-control, place a twenty-four-hour hold on any purchases before you buy anything.
You can write down in a small notebook what you were thinking of buying and in twenty-four hours revisit your list and decide then if you really want or need the item(s). , This suggestion can come in handy if you are trying to quit smoking or curb your eating habits.
If you have a cigarette or food craving, instead of immediately giving in to the craving, set your phone timer for five minutes, and focus on breathing from your belly.
Remind yourself that a craving is just that, a craving, it is not a necessity.
Take the five minutes of breathing to imagine the craving slowly disappearing every time you exhale.
Take note of how you feel and if you still want to engage in eating impulsively or giving in to that cigarette.Try closing your eyes and breathing in slowly through your nose.
Continue filling your lungs, fully expanding your chest and lower belly.
Finally, breathe out slowly and naturally—your mouth or nose is fine., You’ll find it harder to avoid the urge if you simply sit and fixate on it.
Instead, recognize the urge and actively try to distract yourself with something else.
This can help distract your mind from the urge or craving and give you the space to truly decide if you want to act on that urge.
Sometimes doing something with your hands is helpful, such as crocheting, knitting, folding origami, or even texting a friend. , In addition to momentary distractions, actively try to replace the behavior you want to control with a substantive alternative.
By giving yourself more time to take the decision, you can make a clearer, more empowered decision.For instance, if you’re trying to stop spending money, you can go for a walk in a green space where you won’t even have the opportunity to shop.
Or if you’re trying to control overeating, you can develop the habit of hitting the gym when the urge to overeat arises. -
Step 3: Try belly breathing.
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Step 4: Find a healthy distraction.
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Step 5: Have a go-to activity.
Detailed Guide
Having strategies to help you resist temptation in the moment will help you build self-control.
Start by making a list of the behaviors you’d like to control and the situations that often trigger the behavior.By recognizing the moments when you get the urge to act impulsively, you’ll be more equipped to create a delay between the urge and action.
Creating space in your thinking will help you reevaluate your actions from a more rational viewpoint.
This will also help you learn how to create a delay in your actions instead of just acting upon your urges.
For example, if spending money or shopping is one of the areas that you want to build self-control, place a twenty-four-hour hold on any purchases before you buy anything.
You can write down in a small notebook what you were thinking of buying and in twenty-four hours revisit your list and decide then if you really want or need the item(s). , This suggestion can come in handy if you are trying to quit smoking or curb your eating habits.
If you have a cigarette or food craving, instead of immediately giving in to the craving, set your phone timer for five minutes, and focus on breathing from your belly.
Remind yourself that a craving is just that, a craving, it is not a necessity.
Take the five minutes of breathing to imagine the craving slowly disappearing every time you exhale.
Take note of how you feel and if you still want to engage in eating impulsively or giving in to that cigarette.Try closing your eyes and breathing in slowly through your nose.
Continue filling your lungs, fully expanding your chest and lower belly.
Finally, breathe out slowly and naturally—your mouth or nose is fine., You’ll find it harder to avoid the urge if you simply sit and fixate on it.
Instead, recognize the urge and actively try to distract yourself with something else.
This can help distract your mind from the urge or craving and give you the space to truly decide if you want to act on that urge.
Sometimes doing something with your hands is helpful, such as crocheting, knitting, folding origami, or even texting a friend. , In addition to momentary distractions, actively try to replace the behavior you want to control with a substantive alternative.
By giving yourself more time to take the decision, you can make a clearer, more empowered decision.For instance, if you’re trying to stop spending money, you can go for a walk in a green space where you won’t even have the opportunity to shop.
Or if you’re trying to control overeating, you can develop the habit of hitting the gym when the urge to overeat arises.
About the Author
Andrea Cooper
Writer and educator with a focus on practical crafts knowledge.
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