How to Fix Your Trust Issues
Identify the source., Talk to the person using “I” statements., Explain what you need., Find closure for current relationships., Recognize shared humanity in the people who hurt you in the past.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify the source.
In order to overcome your trust issues, you need to figure out why they are occurring.
Trust is developed when a person shows that they can be counted on.
Humans first start to develop trust in infancy and the toddler years.
If you experienced neglect or abandonment in early childhood, these experiences can contribute to you having trust issues later in life.
In addition, relationships can also influence your ability to trust.
If you have been cheated on, lied to, or deceived by someone you care about, this could be the source behind your mistrust. -
Step 2: Talk to the person using “I” statements.
Once you identify the person(s) who were instrumental in your developing trust issues, you should attempt to talk to them about it.
Be candid with your partner about how you feel.
This allows you and your partner to collaborate on a workable solution to your trust issues.Tailor your words with “I” statements to minimize blaming the other person.
You might say, “I was cheated on in a previous relationship and it’s making it really hard for me to trust you.” , Opening the door to discuss your trust issues is only half of the equation.
You will need to sit down with your partner and come up with an action plan.
You can start this off by being clear about your needs.For instance, if you know secrets contribute to why you are mistrustful, make a pact with your partner to not keep secrets from each other.
Say something like “I get really insecure when you keep secrets from me.
Can we agree to not leave one another in the dark about things that are happening in our lives?” , If your current partner or loved one hurt you, you will need to find closure from that incident in order to move forward in the relationship.
There are various ways to gain closure to rebuild existing relationships.
One way to move on is by writing a letter about the betrayal.
Use the letter to explain what happened, how it hurt you, and how it is affecting you today.
If the person is still in your life, you can read the letter to them and request an apology.
If not, you can simply burn the letter or tear it to pieces to symbolize the situation no longer having any power over your life., If past relationships are influencing your ability to trust today, you need to learn to let go of those hurts.
Another way to gain closure is by recognizing that all people make mistakes.
This can be hard, but try to rationalize that all people hurt their loved ones at some point.
The person who hurt you in the past was only human.
You can learn to accept this truth so you can move on from the situation.This can be helpful for getting closure from people who are no longer in your life such as exes or deceased family members. -
Step 3: Explain what you need.
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Step 4: Find closure for current relationships.
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Step 5: Recognize shared humanity in the people who hurt you in the past.
Detailed Guide
In order to overcome your trust issues, you need to figure out why they are occurring.
Trust is developed when a person shows that they can be counted on.
Humans first start to develop trust in infancy and the toddler years.
If you experienced neglect or abandonment in early childhood, these experiences can contribute to you having trust issues later in life.
In addition, relationships can also influence your ability to trust.
If you have been cheated on, lied to, or deceived by someone you care about, this could be the source behind your mistrust.
Once you identify the person(s) who were instrumental in your developing trust issues, you should attempt to talk to them about it.
Be candid with your partner about how you feel.
This allows you and your partner to collaborate on a workable solution to your trust issues.Tailor your words with “I” statements to minimize blaming the other person.
You might say, “I was cheated on in a previous relationship and it’s making it really hard for me to trust you.” , Opening the door to discuss your trust issues is only half of the equation.
You will need to sit down with your partner and come up with an action plan.
You can start this off by being clear about your needs.For instance, if you know secrets contribute to why you are mistrustful, make a pact with your partner to not keep secrets from each other.
Say something like “I get really insecure when you keep secrets from me.
Can we agree to not leave one another in the dark about things that are happening in our lives?” , If your current partner or loved one hurt you, you will need to find closure from that incident in order to move forward in the relationship.
There are various ways to gain closure to rebuild existing relationships.
One way to move on is by writing a letter about the betrayal.
Use the letter to explain what happened, how it hurt you, and how it is affecting you today.
If the person is still in your life, you can read the letter to them and request an apology.
If not, you can simply burn the letter or tear it to pieces to symbolize the situation no longer having any power over your life., If past relationships are influencing your ability to trust today, you need to learn to let go of those hurts.
Another way to gain closure is by recognizing that all people make mistakes.
This can be hard, but try to rationalize that all people hurt their loved ones at some point.
The person who hurt you in the past was only human.
You can learn to accept this truth so you can move on from the situation.This can be helpful for getting closure from people who are no longer in your life such as exes or deceased family members.
About the Author
Shirley Jenkins
With a background in realestate, Shirley Jenkins brings 5 years of hands-on experience to every article. Shirley believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
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