How to Handle a Jealous Sibling
Notice the telltale signs of sibling jealousy., Try to discern what is the cause of the jealousy towards you., Approach the sibling in a sincere way., Explain to your sibling why it's not good to be jealous about that thing or matter., Seek to give...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Notice the telltale signs of sibling jealousy.
This will help you acknowledge that there are specific motivations behind the behavior that you can hopefully address.
Some signs include:
A sibling throws tantrums if you get something that he or she doesn't, including parental attention or an award for an achievement.
A sibling takes things from you without asking, and may even go into your room to get them.
A sibling deliberately breaks things that are yours.
Often there are comments about it leading up to the breakage.
A sibling uses such language as "It's not fair, why does big brother/little sister always get X, Y, Z and I don't?"; "You always get better everything than me"; "You have it so much easier than me"; "Dad/mom hates me and thinks you're the favorite"
and so forth. -
Step 2: Try to discern what is the cause of the jealousy towards you.
It can be a certain object, event or anything in between.
What is important that you "extract" information on why is the sibling jealous. , Once you know the cause for the jealousy, it's time for you to approach the affected person and try to sort things out with him/her. , However, don't point fingers or blame them.
Simply make it clear why there is plenty to go around, why their own talents will soon shine, how you admire certain things about them, and so on.
Try not to infuriate your sibling more.
If you start explaining things that he/she wouldn't like to hear, he/she would not listen to you anymore.
Do not blame, judge or conclude that you're right and the sibling is not.
This just makes things worse.
Instead, focus on changing the behavior and moving forward positively. , Try saying "maybe we could.." or "Tell you what; I could give you..." and things like that.
Once he/she agrees with you, the problem is often completely over. , Make him/her realize that he/she doesn't have to be jealous because he/she gets the "nice" one, is the favorite or has equally good qualities and achievements. , That may help him/her realize that jealousy is a bad feeling.
Look for short stories, fables and tales about how badly jealousy ends for people. , After all, he/she wants to have yours so badly, so why don't you share it with /him her? Doing so will take the wind out of their sails and remove the source of contention.
They may also discover it wasn't worth being so mean about after all. , If you can find a fun, enjoyable activity that the two of you can do after you've dealt with the problem, it'll help restore your sibling's sense of pride and they'll be happier around you again. , That should keep them away for a while.
Make sure they don't need your help. , The ultimate distraction is your absence.
Try finding fun things to do without your sibling.
Get yourself a hobby and get away for a while.
If they want to see what you are doing, tell them to go away. , Every response from you makes them want to see how much you can handle.
Even if they start singing a really annoying song, pretend you don't hear them.
They will soon stop.
If they constantly try to be annoying, walk away.
If they come after you, go in the bathroom and lock the door. , Talk to them and see if they can do anything.
If they say that you should pay attention to your siblings, try it, but don't give them the air.
Ask your parents that your sibling be held accountable for his or her behavior, just as you are.
This may include instituting rules for bad behavior following an outbreak of jealousy. -
Step 3: Approach the sibling in a sincere way.
-
Step 4: Explain to your sibling why it's not good to be jealous about that thing or matter.
-
Step 5: Seek to give your sibling better options.
-
Step 6: Try to "flatter" your sibling a bit.
-
Step 7: Tell your sibling a story about the disadvantages of being jealous.
-
Step 8: Share the things you have with the jealous sibling.
-
Step 9: Try to distract your jealous sibling so that the whole matter can blow over.
-
Step 10: Find your sibling a hobby.
-
Step 11: Get out of your sibling's reach for a while.
-
Step 12: Ignore your sibling for a time if things fail to improve.
-
Step 13: Tell your parents.
Detailed Guide
This will help you acknowledge that there are specific motivations behind the behavior that you can hopefully address.
Some signs include:
A sibling throws tantrums if you get something that he or she doesn't, including parental attention or an award for an achievement.
A sibling takes things from you without asking, and may even go into your room to get them.
A sibling deliberately breaks things that are yours.
Often there are comments about it leading up to the breakage.
A sibling uses such language as "It's not fair, why does big brother/little sister always get X, Y, Z and I don't?"; "You always get better everything than me"; "You have it so much easier than me"; "Dad/mom hates me and thinks you're the favorite"
and so forth.
It can be a certain object, event or anything in between.
What is important that you "extract" information on why is the sibling jealous. , Once you know the cause for the jealousy, it's time for you to approach the affected person and try to sort things out with him/her. , However, don't point fingers or blame them.
Simply make it clear why there is plenty to go around, why their own talents will soon shine, how you admire certain things about them, and so on.
Try not to infuriate your sibling more.
If you start explaining things that he/she wouldn't like to hear, he/she would not listen to you anymore.
Do not blame, judge or conclude that you're right and the sibling is not.
This just makes things worse.
Instead, focus on changing the behavior and moving forward positively. , Try saying "maybe we could.." or "Tell you what; I could give you..." and things like that.
Once he/she agrees with you, the problem is often completely over. , Make him/her realize that he/she doesn't have to be jealous because he/she gets the "nice" one, is the favorite or has equally good qualities and achievements. , That may help him/her realize that jealousy is a bad feeling.
Look for short stories, fables and tales about how badly jealousy ends for people. , After all, he/she wants to have yours so badly, so why don't you share it with /him her? Doing so will take the wind out of their sails and remove the source of contention.
They may also discover it wasn't worth being so mean about after all. , If you can find a fun, enjoyable activity that the two of you can do after you've dealt with the problem, it'll help restore your sibling's sense of pride and they'll be happier around you again. , That should keep them away for a while.
Make sure they don't need your help. , The ultimate distraction is your absence.
Try finding fun things to do without your sibling.
Get yourself a hobby and get away for a while.
If they want to see what you are doing, tell them to go away. , Every response from you makes them want to see how much you can handle.
Even if they start singing a really annoying song, pretend you don't hear them.
They will soon stop.
If they constantly try to be annoying, walk away.
If they come after you, go in the bathroom and lock the door. , Talk to them and see if they can do anything.
If they say that you should pay attention to your siblings, try it, but don't give them the air.
Ask your parents that your sibling be held accountable for his or her behavior, just as you are.
This may include instituting rules for bad behavior following an outbreak of jealousy.
About the Author
Katherine Webb
Committed to making home improvement accessible and understandable for everyone.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: