How to Handle an Office Relationship

Know the rules regarding workplace romance., Only date people at the same level as yourself., Keep your routine intact., Keep your relationship private for as long as possible., Don’t document your relationship., Avoid attending social gatherings...

8 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Know the rules regarding workplace romance.

    It's always better if you are aware of the regulations and rules by which you have to work, Inform yourself and your partner about what policies the firm has in place regarding conducting a romantic relationship in the workplace.

    Once you know what the rules are, you can do your best to avoid breaking them.

    You should also know what kind of trouble you can get into if you do break the rules.

    Consult the company handbook on office conduct and read the company's harassment policy for more information.
  2. Step 2: Only date people at the same level as yourself.

    It's a good idea to only date fellow employees who are at the same level as you.

    When you date someone who is your superior or your subordinate things can get messy.

    Dating a superior or a subordinate can get messy, as people will be more inclined to gossip about the circumstances surrounding the relationship.

    For example, if you are dating a subordinate, people might think you are taking advantage of your position of authority and manipulating the other person.

    This also leaves you open to a harassment suit if the relationship goes sour.

    If you are dating a superior, people might think that you just trying to get favors like a promotion or a raise. , The best way to handle your relationship is to cast a protective shell around your new relationship to the extent that nobody is aware of it till the time you yourself decide to share it with others.

    Keep your work hours the same and do not purposely avoid people whom you used to hang out with.

    Also take your lunches as you always used to do.

    People notice small changes and if you do anything out of the ordinary, the gossipy office types won’t spare you. , You might be tempted to share details of your relationship with your close friends at work, but it’s probably wiser to not give in to this urge.

    The less people know, the better.

    If you are conducting a relationship with another employee and things are getting serious, you want your boss to hear it directly from you, not through office gossip.

    It’s acceptable to tell friends as long as they are not going to talk about it, however, you should preferably share it with those friends who do not have any connections with your workplace. , Company emails are not private, so you should not document anything about your relationship via email.

    Most companies have servers that can easily extract all your emails and they can track emails sent between employees.

    More than enough evidence will be available against you if you end up on a bitter note in your relationship.

    If it’s really tempting for you to write something sweet, try using post it notes to convey your message but it’s highly recommended to restrict yourself to cell phone texts to let go of all risks of it getting revealed. , Staying cautious in the workplace can be relatively easy because you are busy most of the time.

    However, if there are any official gatherings like a hangout at local bar or office Christmas Party, there is an increased risk of you and your romantic interest being found.

    Don’t take any risks, as office gossip tends to spread like wildfire.

    Such purposeful avoidance will pay you off in long run.

    If it’s not possible to skip these events entirely, try to make your appearances at different time slots so that there is less to be noticed. , You can send text messages using your cell phone if necessary, but aside from that nothing pertaining to your relationship should become a source of distraction or affect your performance at work.

    You are risking your professional future if you shirk your work duties for the sake of a relationship.

    Stay busy while at work and spare no time to risk exposure.

    If you don’t stay busy, you ll be thinking more about your partner or you may go out of your way to plan interactive opportunities. , If the relationship becomes serious and you're tired of feeling like you're sneaking around all the time, then it's a good idea to set up a meeting with your boss and tell them about it face to face.

    As long as the relationship is not a direct breach of the company's harassment or workplace relationship policy, and you are both remaining professional about it, there's no reason for your boss to object.

    Your boss should appreciate your honesty and will probably be much more accepting of the relationship if he hears it directly from you, rather than hearing it secondhand.
  3. Step 3: Keep your routine intact.

  4. Step 4: Keep your relationship private for as long as possible.

  5. Step 5: Don’t document your relationship.

  6. Step 6: Avoid attending social gatherings together.

  7. Step 7: Don’t allow your relationship to impact your work.

  8. Step 8: Tell your boss when the time is right.

Detailed Guide

It's always better if you are aware of the regulations and rules by which you have to work, Inform yourself and your partner about what policies the firm has in place regarding conducting a romantic relationship in the workplace.

Once you know what the rules are, you can do your best to avoid breaking them.

You should also know what kind of trouble you can get into if you do break the rules.

Consult the company handbook on office conduct and read the company's harassment policy for more information.

It's a good idea to only date fellow employees who are at the same level as you.

When you date someone who is your superior or your subordinate things can get messy.

Dating a superior or a subordinate can get messy, as people will be more inclined to gossip about the circumstances surrounding the relationship.

For example, if you are dating a subordinate, people might think you are taking advantage of your position of authority and manipulating the other person.

This also leaves you open to a harassment suit if the relationship goes sour.

If you are dating a superior, people might think that you just trying to get favors like a promotion or a raise. , The best way to handle your relationship is to cast a protective shell around your new relationship to the extent that nobody is aware of it till the time you yourself decide to share it with others.

Keep your work hours the same and do not purposely avoid people whom you used to hang out with.

Also take your lunches as you always used to do.

People notice small changes and if you do anything out of the ordinary, the gossipy office types won’t spare you. , You might be tempted to share details of your relationship with your close friends at work, but it’s probably wiser to not give in to this urge.

The less people know, the better.

If you are conducting a relationship with another employee and things are getting serious, you want your boss to hear it directly from you, not through office gossip.

It’s acceptable to tell friends as long as they are not going to talk about it, however, you should preferably share it with those friends who do not have any connections with your workplace. , Company emails are not private, so you should not document anything about your relationship via email.

Most companies have servers that can easily extract all your emails and they can track emails sent between employees.

More than enough evidence will be available against you if you end up on a bitter note in your relationship.

If it’s really tempting for you to write something sweet, try using post it notes to convey your message but it’s highly recommended to restrict yourself to cell phone texts to let go of all risks of it getting revealed. , Staying cautious in the workplace can be relatively easy because you are busy most of the time.

However, if there are any official gatherings like a hangout at local bar or office Christmas Party, there is an increased risk of you and your romantic interest being found.

Don’t take any risks, as office gossip tends to spread like wildfire.

Such purposeful avoidance will pay you off in long run.

If it’s not possible to skip these events entirely, try to make your appearances at different time slots so that there is less to be noticed. , You can send text messages using your cell phone if necessary, but aside from that nothing pertaining to your relationship should become a source of distraction or affect your performance at work.

You are risking your professional future if you shirk your work duties for the sake of a relationship.

Stay busy while at work and spare no time to risk exposure.

If you don’t stay busy, you ll be thinking more about your partner or you may go out of your way to plan interactive opportunities. , If the relationship becomes serious and you're tired of feeling like you're sneaking around all the time, then it's a good idea to set up a meeting with your boss and tell them about it face to face.

As long as the relationship is not a direct breach of the company's harassment or workplace relationship policy, and you are both remaining professional about it, there's no reason for your boss to object.

Your boss should appreciate your honesty and will probably be much more accepting of the relationship if he hears it directly from you, rather than hearing it secondhand.

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