How to Handle Constant Complaints About Someone's Love Life
Avoid telling them their love life isn’t that bad., Validate their feelings., Practice empathy., Ask questions., Change the subject.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Avoid telling them their love life isn’t that bad.
Even if you have good intentions for saying someone’s love life isn’t actually that bad, it may make them feel worse.
By telling someone that their feelings are not valid, they may feel even more upset and it could affect your relationship with them.Keep in mind that you don’t have to agree with the person.
Just be willing to listen to them and avoid casting judgment on what they say or on their love life in general. -
Step 2: Validate their feelings.
When someone constantly complains about their romantic partner, their relationship, or being single, they are looking for validation for their feelings and sympathy for their situation, or just need someone to listen to them for a while.
Be willing to listen and avoid trying to discover their intentions.
Genuinely provide emotional validation and, if appropriate, sympathy.Try saying, “Jeff, I’m really sorry to hear that your husband isn’t emotionally supportive.
That must be really hard to deal with.” You could also say, “Amy, I can understand why you feel undervalued by your husband if he doesn’t appreciate all the time you spend cleaning and cooking despite having a full time job.” , Empathy is your ability to identify with what another person is feeling and thinking.
When someone complains about their love life, put yourself in their shoes before you respond.
React to their complaints with empathy and appropriate emotion.Don’t say, “Well at least you have a husband!” Instead try saying, “I know what it feels like when your partner doesn’t listen.
I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Don’t say, “You shouldn’t complain about your boyfriend’s cleaning.
I’d love it if my wife cleaned!” Instead try saying, “I’m sorry you’re so frustrated about Jim’s vacuuming.
I know what it feels like when your partner doesn’t live up to your expectations.” , If someone you know regularly complains about their love life, you can respond by asking questions.
Rather than giving them solutions to the issue, ask questions that might help them solve the problems on their own.
This can help stop a steady stream of complaining and focus the conversation on more positive possibilities.You can ask, “Why do you think your wife’s behavior makes you feel this way?” Try asking, “What is it about this situation that is truly upsetting you?” , One way to maintain control of the conversation is to change the subject when someone begins complaining about their love life.
Respectfully listen to their complaint for a while, but then change the subject to something that is mutually interesting to both parties.Don’t change the subject too abruptly or at a sensitive point in their story.
Give the person a chance to share and then when they seem to have finished their story or finished venting, find a natural way to change the subject.
For example, after the person has finished telling you a story about a bad date, you could say something like, “Oh, that reminds me.
The weirdest thing happened at work yesterday! I can’t wait to tell you this story!” -
Step 3: Practice empathy.
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Step 4: Ask questions.
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Step 5: Change the subject.
Detailed Guide
Even if you have good intentions for saying someone’s love life isn’t actually that bad, it may make them feel worse.
By telling someone that their feelings are not valid, they may feel even more upset and it could affect your relationship with them.Keep in mind that you don’t have to agree with the person.
Just be willing to listen to them and avoid casting judgment on what they say or on their love life in general.
When someone constantly complains about their romantic partner, their relationship, or being single, they are looking for validation for their feelings and sympathy for their situation, or just need someone to listen to them for a while.
Be willing to listen and avoid trying to discover their intentions.
Genuinely provide emotional validation and, if appropriate, sympathy.Try saying, “Jeff, I’m really sorry to hear that your husband isn’t emotionally supportive.
That must be really hard to deal with.” You could also say, “Amy, I can understand why you feel undervalued by your husband if he doesn’t appreciate all the time you spend cleaning and cooking despite having a full time job.” , Empathy is your ability to identify with what another person is feeling and thinking.
When someone complains about their love life, put yourself in their shoes before you respond.
React to their complaints with empathy and appropriate emotion.Don’t say, “Well at least you have a husband!” Instead try saying, “I know what it feels like when your partner doesn’t listen.
I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Don’t say, “You shouldn’t complain about your boyfriend’s cleaning.
I’d love it if my wife cleaned!” Instead try saying, “I’m sorry you’re so frustrated about Jim’s vacuuming.
I know what it feels like when your partner doesn’t live up to your expectations.” , If someone you know regularly complains about their love life, you can respond by asking questions.
Rather than giving them solutions to the issue, ask questions that might help them solve the problems on their own.
This can help stop a steady stream of complaining and focus the conversation on more positive possibilities.You can ask, “Why do you think your wife’s behavior makes you feel this way?” Try asking, “What is it about this situation that is truly upsetting you?” , One way to maintain control of the conversation is to change the subject when someone begins complaining about their love life.
Respectfully listen to their complaint for a while, but then change the subject to something that is mutually interesting to both parties.Don’t change the subject too abruptly or at a sensitive point in their story.
Give the person a chance to share and then when they seem to have finished their story or finished venting, find a natural way to change the subject.
For example, after the person has finished telling you a story about a bad date, you could say something like, “Oh, that reminds me.
The weirdest thing happened at work yesterday! I can’t wait to tell you this story!”
About the Author
Margaret Tucker
Brings years of experience writing about home improvement and related subjects.
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