How to Handle Having a Toxic Mother

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Be aware that your mother might not realise that what's she's doing or saying is affecting you.

   Try talking about it with her, telling her how you feel.
   
   You might be surprised to find that she's actually quite understanding; after all, she's human too.
2. 2

   Step 2: Choose the right time to talk it over.

   There is a wrong time for you to have this conversation.
   
   You need to be in a state where you don't think you're going to explode at her with rage, but instead will be able to discuss what changes you would like her to make in a calm and mature manner, as this way she will not be able to have a go at you for trying to deal with the situation. , It may be that she was being the way she was because she wanted to protect you, or because she thought she was acting with your best interests at heart. , When you feel that all of your concerns have been met, move on from it, put everything in the past and start fresh, it's what is healthiest for your relationship. , If you feel like you really can't try to reason with your mother, ask a family member to help mediate your relationship. , It is important that the family member knows you both, so that neither yourself or your mother will feel uncomfortable discussing personal matters with them.
   
   For example, you could ask your father to do this if at all possible, as he should be able to help you get all your points across to your mother.
   
   However, it might be an aunt or uncle, a cousin or a sibling. , They may be able to offer advice that could help you deal with the situation.
   
   To make sure they can do this well, it is important that they know what you feel are the problems that need addressing. , That way you don't even have to be there, which saves you getting caught up in the moment and saying something that you might regret.
   
   However, realize that in some cases your mother will consider that you've "aired dirty laundry"
   
   which can actually make things worse between you. , Stop talking to her, avoid situations where it would be just the two of you, or a small number of you. , Get out of the house more, go into town, relax with friends, anything to get away from her. , Hopefully, with enough distance, your mother will have had the time to think and realise that something is wrong between you, and she might change herself.
   
   After all, you never know what you had until it's gone.
3. 3

   Step 3: Make sure to address her concerns as well.

4. 4

   Step 4: Set it aside when resolved.

5. 5

   Step 5: Get some help.

6. 6

   Step 6: Choose someone you trust and know.

7. 7

   Step 7: Tell the family member exactly how you feel.

8. 8

   Step 8: Ask the family member to talk to your mother for you.

9. 9

   Step 9: Distance yourself if you think that your mother is just too toxic.

10. 10

    Step 10: Spend more time away from her

11. 11

    Step 11: if you still live with her.

12. 12

    Step 12: Let time heal.

Detailed Guide

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