How to Handle People Who Think You Should Grieve Longer

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Respond to the the statement.

   If the person is someone you're close to who keeps bringing up the fact that you haven't grieved long enough, you may want to take some time to respond to what they're saying.
   
   Just telling them what you're feeling and why can help put it in perspective for them.For instance, you could ask to have a conversation with the person.
   
   Once you start, you could say, "I know you think I haven't grieved long enough, but I have come to terms with the loss.
   
   Every time you say that, it makes me feel guilty.
   
   I would appreciate it if you would quit bringing it up."
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   Step 2: Tell them there's no specific time allotted for grief.

   That is, every person is different.
   
   You have the right to deal with grief in the amount of time it takes you.
   
   If the time you take is shorter than others, than that's how it is.
   
   Besides, many factors can affect grief, including your relationship with the person you lost and how the death came about.For instance, maybe you knew for a long time that the person was dying, so you had time before the death to get the majority of your grieving over with.
   
   In addition, you might remind the person that grief is not something unilateral, with a start and end point.
   
   Coming to terms with the loss does not mean you will never think of the person again, or never feel sad about it again. , Another way to avoid the question is to bring the conversation to an abrupt halt.
   
   You may want to come up with an excuse, but it is better and more direct to say something like, "I'm not going to discuss this any further," and then leave the conversation as quickly as possible.
   
   This tactic tends to work best on the phone, but you can use it in person, too.Making excuses or avoiding the topic may seem like a good strategy in the moment, but it generally doesn't resolve anything. , If someone says something about your grieving process, you could let them know that you're not comfortable discussing it with them.
   
   You have a right to set boundaries about who you share personal information with, and right now is one of those times.For example, you could say, "I appreciate your concern, but grief is a very personal issue for me.
   
   I'd rather not discuss it."
   
   That is, most people have a hard time knowing what to do around a person who's suffered a loss.
   
   If they're asking you whether you've grieved long enough, it's out of concern for your emotional well-being.
   
   While the question or sentiment may be misguided, it likely comes from a place of caring and knowing that can keep you from lashing out at the person., You may feel a strong desire to lash out at the person, mostly because grief is a personal thing and you have a right to feel how you want.
   
   Even if you are over the main part of your grief, you may still be feeling vulnerable, and that vulnerability can cause you to feel angry.
   
   If you feel anger rising up, take a moment to calm yourself down before responding.Take a few deep, calming breaths to help release your anger.
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   Step 3: End the conversation.

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   Step 4: Define a boundary.

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   Step 5: Take a second to consider where the thought comes from.

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   Step 6: Realize that anger is a natural reaction.

Detailed Guide

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