How to Handle Your Child's First Crush
Find out if they have a crush., Discuss romantic versus friendly feelings., Talk about handling rejection.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out if they have a crush.
Children as young as elementary school age, and sometimes even preschoolers may decide they have a crush.
Often, though, when children have their first crush, parents are the last to know.
While some kids may share this exciting new with you first, more often they have already told their friends, siblings, and even their teacher by the time you find out.
With a little investigating you can find out about their crush so that you can discuss it with them.For instance, you might notice that your child is spending more time focused on their appearance than they usually are.
Or, for example, you might notice that they get the giggles when you mention a specific classmate or a friend.
You can always ask your child, “Is there anyone that you might be interested in as more than a friend?” -
Step 2: Discuss romantic versus friendly feelings.
When kids are forming friendships, they sometimes declare that they have a crush on someone without really understanding what romantic feelings are or what having a crush means.
This can often happen between opposite sex friendships where children confuse liking someone as a friend with having a crush.
Take some time to talk with your child about exactly what type of feelings they have for their crush.
This may help them distinguish between liking someone as a platonic friend and having a crush.
For example, you might explain that when you have a crush on someone, you often want to spend more time around them.
You might say, “When you have crush feelings, that person makes you feel happy just by being around.” Be sure to normalize your child's feelings to keep them from getting embarrassed around their crush.
Let them know that having a crush is totally normal and healthy.
If you are unsure how to approach this subject with your child, look online for age-appropriate video resources.
These can sometimes be more comprehensive and more relatable. , One of the difficult parts about having a crush, especially your first crush, is if the person doesn’t feel the same.
When you talk to your child about their crush, take some time to find out how their crush feels about them.
Discuss some of the ways to handle it appropriately if your child’s feelings aren’t reciprocated.For instance, you could say something like, “Have you told your crush how you feel? Do you plan on telling them?” Or, you might explain, for example, “Sometimes you can have feelings about someone, but they don’t feel the same about you.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
It just means the other person has different feelings, and that’s okay.” -
Step 3: Talk about handling rejection.
Detailed Guide
Children as young as elementary school age, and sometimes even preschoolers may decide they have a crush.
Often, though, when children have their first crush, parents are the last to know.
While some kids may share this exciting new with you first, more often they have already told their friends, siblings, and even their teacher by the time you find out.
With a little investigating you can find out about their crush so that you can discuss it with them.For instance, you might notice that your child is spending more time focused on their appearance than they usually are.
Or, for example, you might notice that they get the giggles when you mention a specific classmate or a friend.
You can always ask your child, “Is there anyone that you might be interested in as more than a friend?”
When kids are forming friendships, they sometimes declare that they have a crush on someone without really understanding what romantic feelings are or what having a crush means.
This can often happen between opposite sex friendships where children confuse liking someone as a friend with having a crush.
Take some time to talk with your child about exactly what type of feelings they have for their crush.
This may help them distinguish between liking someone as a platonic friend and having a crush.
For example, you might explain that when you have a crush on someone, you often want to spend more time around them.
You might say, “When you have crush feelings, that person makes you feel happy just by being around.” Be sure to normalize your child's feelings to keep them from getting embarrassed around their crush.
Let them know that having a crush is totally normal and healthy.
If you are unsure how to approach this subject with your child, look online for age-appropriate video resources.
These can sometimes be more comprehensive and more relatable. , One of the difficult parts about having a crush, especially your first crush, is if the person doesn’t feel the same.
When you talk to your child about their crush, take some time to find out how their crush feels about them.
Discuss some of the ways to handle it appropriately if your child’s feelings aren’t reciprocated.For instance, you could say something like, “Have you told your crush how you feel? Do you plan on telling them?” Or, you might explain, for example, “Sometimes you can have feelings about someone, but they don’t feel the same about you.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
It just means the other person has different feelings, and that’s okay.”
About the Author
Doris Turner
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow lifestyle tutorials.
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