How to Learn How to Say No to Yourself

Understand how your inability to say no relates to your history and/or childhood., 'Talk' to that person inside you that is driving you., Start out small., Establish some guidelines or policies for yourself., Prepare a 'stock answer'., Compromise.

6 Steps 1 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Understand how your inability to say no relates to your history and/or childhood.

    Were you deprived of something, food or possessions, as a child? Did something happen in your early adulthood that affected you in that way? Understand what can cause issues like these.

    Deprivation as a child or adult Feeling that you are owed it Spend your money before someone else does
  2. Step 2: 'Talk' to that person inside you that is driving you.

    Let that person know that you love yourself and that you are going to have to show that love by setting, and accepting, limits.

    Too much, is too much. , Take baby steps when you begin denying yourself things that you historically have not denied yourself.

    Something like setting yourself a bedtime and keeping to it instead of going to bed whenever you feel like it. , Rules help us construct a norm and then stick to it. , Maybe when you say, "I want something' come back with, wait for 3 days to purchase it. , Teach yourself to compromise your desires with what is healthy for you.
  3. Step 3: Start out small.

  4. Step 4: Establish some guidelines or policies for yourself.

  5. Step 5: Prepare a 'stock answer'.

  6. Step 6: Compromise.

Detailed Guide

Were you deprived of something, food or possessions, as a child? Did something happen in your early adulthood that affected you in that way? Understand what can cause issues like these.

Deprivation as a child or adult Feeling that you are owed it Spend your money before someone else does

Let that person know that you love yourself and that you are going to have to show that love by setting, and accepting, limits.

Too much, is too much. , Take baby steps when you begin denying yourself things that you historically have not denied yourself.

Something like setting yourself a bedtime and keeping to it instead of going to bed whenever you feel like it. , Rules help us construct a norm and then stick to it. , Maybe when you say, "I want something' come back with, wait for 3 days to purchase it. , Teach yourself to compromise your desires with what is healthy for you.

About the Author

D

Debra Burns

Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.

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