How to Live With a College Roommate With ADHD
Talk with your roommate about how to share space., Keep common areas organized., Limit distractions to you and your roommate., Be polite when discussing concerns about their behavior., Find a private space for studying and sleeping., Post reminders.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Talk with your roommate about how to share space.
When you are rooming with someone, it is important to separate shared spaces from private spaces.
Shared spaces requires maintenance by both you and your roommate.
Set guidelines on how to maintain those spaces.Discuss rules or policies for how to maintain your separate areas and common areas.
Focus on how to respect each other's privacy.
Each of you should ask permission to enter the other's personal or study space.
Consider saying, "I'm hoping we can get to know each other's habits a bit better.
What do think about about making some roommate ground rules?" -
Step 2: Keep common areas organized.
Consider making a chart of the guidelines for how to keep things organized.
Discuss this early on to avoid future headache.
Understand that you both may have different approaches to organization.
Identify what compromises you can make and what are your "deal-breakers."Consider making a list of which chores each of you will do in the common areas.
Decide how often and when to complete these chores.
Make the organization rules in writing.
Post them in a common space to avoid any miscommunication about what needs to be done.
For example, if you and your roommate have agreed to alternate cleaning the kitchen, then it might be helpful to create a schedule of who does it which weeks and to include a list of tasks that each of you needs to do when you are cleaning the kitchen, such as clean sink, wash dishes, clean out fridge, etc. , If one of you is studying or sleeping, be mindful of distractions.
If your roommate has ADHD, then they may be less self-aware about how they are being a distraction.
Also consider what you're doing as a possible distraction for them.
Here are some types of distractions when someone is stressed, trying to relax, sleeping or studying:
Loud music Loud TV or video games Having a lot of people Interrupting frequently to talk about petty things Talking loudly on the phone Getting into an argument with someone else (on the phone or in person) Having your significant other or friend over and taking over the common areas often , Be assertive and polite when your roommate is doing something annoying.
Your roommate may have a different perspective on the situation.
The point is not to determine who is "right" and who is "wrong." Instead it is about making your concerns know in a respectful and open way.Be flexible that discussing behavior may not change overnight.
It also may require compromise at times.
Take this time to discuss different approaches to privacy, organization, distractions, and cleaning.
Learn about your roommate's perspective.
Treat them as you would like to be treated.
Consider saying, "I know that doing school work can be stressful.
But can we talk about the noise level when you're working?"
Make sure that you find a private space to get your work done as well as to get good rest.
This is a key to surviving college.
Make clear to your roommate that these private spaces are sacred.
Carve out a private space that is yours alone.
Avoid sharing a desk or a computer with your roommate that may make it difficult to get work done.
Avoid making your sleeping area the favorite hang-out spot for you and your roommates.
Avoid using common areas for studying or sleeping.
When you have roommates, common areas may not be ideal since privacy is less guaranteed.
If the area where you study at home is not private, find spaces outside of home where you can study.
Coffee shops.
Libraries.
A study room in the dorm.
A friend's place. , If there are certain things that your roommate often forgets to do, then posting reminders for your roommate may be helpful.
For example, if your roommate often forgets to lock the door when he leaves for class in the morning, then posting a reminder to “lock door” may be helpful.
You might want to discuss this with your roommate before you start posting notes all over your shared space.
Try saying something like, “I have noticed that you sometimes forget to lock the door when you leave in the morning.
Would you find it helpful if I posted a reminder note on the door?” -
Step 3: Limit distractions to you and your roommate.
-
Step 4: Be polite when discussing concerns about their behavior.
-
Step 5: Find a private space for studying and sleeping.
-
Step 6: Post reminders.
Detailed Guide
When you are rooming with someone, it is important to separate shared spaces from private spaces.
Shared spaces requires maintenance by both you and your roommate.
Set guidelines on how to maintain those spaces.Discuss rules or policies for how to maintain your separate areas and common areas.
Focus on how to respect each other's privacy.
Each of you should ask permission to enter the other's personal or study space.
Consider saying, "I'm hoping we can get to know each other's habits a bit better.
What do think about about making some roommate ground rules?"
Consider making a chart of the guidelines for how to keep things organized.
Discuss this early on to avoid future headache.
Understand that you both may have different approaches to organization.
Identify what compromises you can make and what are your "deal-breakers."Consider making a list of which chores each of you will do in the common areas.
Decide how often and when to complete these chores.
Make the organization rules in writing.
Post them in a common space to avoid any miscommunication about what needs to be done.
For example, if you and your roommate have agreed to alternate cleaning the kitchen, then it might be helpful to create a schedule of who does it which weeks and to include a list of tasks that each of you needs to do when you are cleaning the kitchen, such as clean sink, wash dishes, clean out fridge, etc. , If one of you is studying or sleeping, be mindful of distractions.
If your roommate has ADHD, then they may be less self-aware about how they are being a distraction.
Also consider what you're doing as a possible distraction for them.
Here are some types of distractions when someone is stressed, trying to relax, sleeping or studying:
Loud music Loud TV or video games Having a lot of people Interrupting frequently to talk about petty things Talking loudly on the phone Getting into an argument with someone else (on the phone or in person) Having your significant other or friend over and taking over the common areas often , Be assertive and polite when your roommate is doing something annoying.
Your roommate may have a different perspective on the situation.
The point is not to determine who is "right" and who is "wrong." Instead it is about making your concerns know in a respectful and open way.Be flexible that discussing behavior may not change overnight.
It also may require compromise at times.
Take this time to discuss different approaches to privacy, organization, distractions, and cleaning.
Learn about your roommate's perspective.
Treat them as you would like to be treated.
Consider saying, "I know that doing school work can be stressful.
But can we talk about the noise level when you're working?"
Make sure that you find a private space to get your work done as well as to get good rest.
This is a key to surviving college.
Make clear to your roommate that these private spaces are sacred.
Carve out a private space that is yours alone.
Avoid sharing a desk or a computer with your roommate that may make it difficult to get work done.
Avoid making your sleeping area the favorite hang-out spot for you and your roommates.
Avoid using common areas for studying or sleeping.
When you have roommates, common areas may not be ideal since privacy is less guaranteed.
If the area where you study at home is not private, find spaces outside of home where you can study.
Coffee shops.
Libraries.
A study room in the dorm.
A friend's place. , If there are certain things that your roommate often forgets to do, then posting reminders for your roommate may be helpful.
For example, if your roommate often forgets to lock the door when he leaves for class in the morning, then posting a reminder to “lock door” may be helpful.
You might want to discuss this with your roommate before you start posting notes all over your shared space.
Try saying something like, “I have noticed that you sometimes forget to lock the door when you leave in the morning.
Would you find it helpful if I posted a reminder note on the door?”
About the Author
Peter Stevens
Creates helpful guides on home improvement to inspire and educate readers.
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