How to Accept That Your Child is Homosexual or Bisexual
Be sure your child knows that you love them., Talk to your child., Remember that this is just who your child is, and whether you believe they were born like that or not, you still want your child to feel comfortable enough to feel that they can be...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be sure your child knows that you love them.
They've faced struggles too and suffered from internal turmoil—don't make them feel any worse.
Imagine their internal struggle when these confusing feelings arose. -
Step 2: Talk to your child.
Be proud that they trusted you enough to tell you.
Today's society is not always accepting.
Have an open dialogue where you can both ask questions and share concerns.
Remember, your child probably feels a little confused and very nervous also.
Focus on being non-judgmental, rather than accusatory, even if the subject makes you uncomfortable.
The most reassuring thing you can say is,"I love you, and I am proud of you for telling me."
It's part of their identity, just like their freckles or their laugh.
They haven't changed—they're the same person they were yesterday. , You will be able to better understand your child's thoughts and feelings.
This will also give you something to talk about.
Maybe you can try catching up with LGBT+ news and pop culture. , If you have trouble accepting your child's sexuality, consider joining a group geared towards parents where you can talk to your peers about your feelings.
Talking to a counselor is another option.
Remember that many LGBT+ stereotypes are untrue.
Bisexual or homosexual people are not necessarily more promiscuous than heterosexual people, nor are they any more likely to be pedophiles or rapists.
Ask yourself: if somebody is gay or bisexual, whom are they hurting? Is a consenting relationship causing any actual harm? Consider what your prejudices (if any) might reflect upon yourself.
Why do you feel the way you do? Are you projecting your own fears or hatred onto others? , If you present your child with shame or belittle them, your family may echo your attitude.
Foster acceptance by showing your family and friends you respect and understand your child.
Even acting like you accept something can be a positive step toward opening your mind and true acceptance. , Don't get angry or tell them that what they have "decided/accepted" is wrong or suggest that it's just a phase and will go away.
Remember that your child may be frightened to tell you, or get the feeling that you would disown or hate them.
If you believe that your child "chooses" the lifestyle they are living, and could just as well choose a heterosexual lifestyle, ask yourself:
Who would voluntarily choose a life marked by fear of discovery, discrimination, and isolation by classmates, friends, colleagues, and family? Would you choose to live in circumstances that made your life a lot more difficult and keep it that way just for the heck of it? , For some people, it is not a big deal.
It is just one aspect of who they are.
For other people, it is fundamental to who they are.
It is important for you to understand where your child is coming from.
If it is just one aspect of who they are, repeatedly encouraging them to date and talking about their orientation may upset them.
If on the other hand, it is fundamental to who they are, being more of an LGBT+ activist and inquiring into your child's dating life may be more appreciated. -
Step 3: Remember that this is just who your child is
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Step 4: and whether you believe they were born like that or not
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Step 5: you still want your child to feel comfortable enough to feel that they can be true to themselves around you.
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Step 6: Make an effort to learn about sexuality.
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Step 7: Try to accept your child.
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Step 8: Become an advocate to family and friends.
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Step 9: Be calm.
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Step 10: Ask your child what their sexuality means to them.
Detailed Guide
They've faced struggles too and suffered from internal turmoil—don't make them feel any worse.
Imagine their internal struggle when these confusing feelings arose.
Be proud that they trusted you enough to tell you.
Today's society is not always accepting.
Have an open dialogue where you can both ask questions and share concerns.
Remember, your child probably feels a little confused and very nervous also.
Focus on being non-judgmental, rather than accusatory, even if the subject makes you uncomfortable.
The most reassuring thing you can say is,"I love you, and I am proud of you for telling me."
It's part of their identity, just like their freckles or their laugh.
They haven't changed—they're the same person they were yesterday. , You will be able to better understand your child's thoughts and feelings.
This will also give you something to talk about.
Maybe you can try catching up with LGBT+ news and pop culture. , If you have trouble accepting your child's sexuality, consider joining a group geared towards parents where you can talk to your peers about your feelings.
Talking to a counselor is another option.
Remember that many LGBT+ stereotypes are untrue.
Bisexual or homosexual people are not necessarily more promiscuous than heterosexual people, nor are they any more likely to be pedophiles or rapists.
Ask yourself: if somebody is gay or bisexual, whom are they hurting? Is a consenting relationship causing any actual harm? Consider what your prejudices (if any) might reflect upon yourself.
Why do you feel the way you do? Are you projecting your own fears or hatred onto others? , If you present your child with shame or belittle them, your family may echo your attitude.
Foster acceptance by showing your family and friends you respect and understand your child.
Even acting like you accept something can be a positive step toward opening your mind and true acceptance. , Don't get angry or tell them that what they have "decided/accepted" is wrong or suggest that it's just a phase and will go away.
Remember that your child may be frightened to tell you, or get the feeling that you would disown or hate them.
If you believe that your child "chooses" the lifestyle they are living, and could just as well choose a heterosexual lifestyle, ask yourself:
Who would voluntarily choose a life marked by fear of discovery, discrimination, and isolation by classmates, friends, colleagues, and family? Would you choose to live in circumstances that made your life a lot more difficult and keep it that way just for the heck of it? , For some people, it is not a big deal.
It is just one aspect of who they are.
For other people, it is fundamental to who they are.
It is important for you to understand where your child is coming from.
If it is just one aspect of who they are, repeatedly encouraging them to date and talking about their orientation may upset them.
If on the other hand, it is fundamental to who they are, being more of an LGBT+ activist and inquiring into your child's dating life may be more appreciated.
About the Author
Charlotte Ward
Experienced content creator specializing in cooking guides and tutorials.
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