How to Be a Good Parent when You Have PTSD
Tell your kids about your symptoms., Keep your explanation age-appropriate., Reassure your kids that your symptoms aren’t their fault., Let your kids know that they can depend on you., Think about how you will answer your kids’ questions.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell your kids about your symptoms.
Explain what PTSD is, and describe the symptoms you have.
It can be scary or upsetting for a child to see their parent getting angry or having a flashback without any explanation, so let them know what’s going on.You don’t have to tell your kids about the trauma you went through.
In fact, it may be a better idea not to.
Depending on your child’s age, you could say something like, “A bad thing happened to me a while ago, and it still bothers me.
Sometimes I get scared when I remember it.” Try using this discussion as a way to teach your child about empathy in terms they will understand.
For example, you might explain to a 6 or 7 year old child that people can feel bad for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with other people.
Encourage your child to be compassionate towards other people. -
Step 2: Keep your explanation age-appropriate.
Tell your kids about your PTSD in terms they will understand.
Don’t tell them more than they need to know.
Sharing too many details about the trauma might scare or disturb young children.Older children may be able to handle more information than younger children. , Children often blame themselves for their parents’ PTSD symptoms if they don’t know the real cause.
Let your kids know that your symptoms have nothing to do with them or their behavior.You can say something like, “I want you to know that when I need to be alone, it isn’t your fault.
It’s because of my bad memories, not because of anything you did.” Keep in mind that young children are very egocentric until about the age of 6 or 7 and will typically blame themselves if a parent feels bad or seems uncaring towards them., Tell your kids that you love them all the time, even when you don’t feel well.
Reassure them that you will always take care of them.Focus on making your child feel safe.
Young children have a deep psychological need to depend on their parents, and they will become anxious if they feel like you aren’t reliable.
Make sure to act on your promises along with reassuring your children.
Actions are more important than words alone. , Your children will probably ask you questions when you tell them about your PTSD.
Before you talk to them, anticipate what they are likely to ask and decide how you want to respond.Set limits about which questions you are willing to answer.
For instance, if your eight-year-old asks what happened to you, it’s fine to say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now” or "I'll explain it to you when you're older." -
Step 3: Reassure your kids that your symptoms aren’t their fault.
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Step 4: Let your kids know that they can depend on you.
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Step 5: Think about how you will answer your kids’ questions.
Detailed Guide
Explain what PTSD is, and describe the symptoms you have.
It can be scary or upsetting for a child to see their parent getting angry or having a flashback without any explanation, so let them know what’s going on.You don’t have to tell your kids about the trauma you went through.
In fact, it may be a better idea not to.
Depending on your child’s age, you could say something like, “A bad thing happened to me a while ago, and it still bothers me.
Sometimes I get scared when I remember it.” Try using this discussion as a way to teach your child about empathy in terms they will understand.
For example, you might explain to a 6 or 7 year old child that people can feel bad for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with other people.
Encourage your child to be compassionate towards other people.
Tell your kids about your PTSD in terms they will understand.
Don’t tell them more than they need to know.
Sharing too many details about the trauma might scare or disturb young children.Older children may be able to handle more information than younger children. , Children often blame themselves for their parents’ PTSD symptoms if they don’t know the real cause.
Let your kids know that your symptoms have nothing to do with them or their behavior.You can say something like, “I want you to know that when I need to be alone, it isn’t your fault.
It’s because of my bad memories, not because of anything you did.” Keep in mind that young children are very egocentric until about the age of 6 or 7 and will typically blame themselves if a parent feels bad or seems uncaring towards them., Tell your kids that you love them all the time, even when you don’t feel well.
Reassure them that you will always take care of them.Focus on making your child feel safe.
Young children have a deep psychological need to depend on their parents, and they will become anxious if they feel like you aren’t reliable.
Make sure to act on your promises along with reassuring your children.
Actions are more important than words alone. , Your children will probably ask you questions when you tell them about your PTSD.
Before you talk to them, anticipate what they are likely to ask and decide how you want to respond.Set limits about which questions you are willing to answer.
For instance, if your eight-year-old asks what happened to you, it’s fine to say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now” or "I'll explain it to you when you're older."
About the Author
Janice Johnson
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow crafts tutorials.
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