How to Be Consistent in Parenting Teens

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Allow some independence for your teen.

   Help your teenager to establish his own identity and figure out her place in the world.
2. 2

   Step 2: Decide how important an issue is before you argue.

   A teen who refuses to eat broccoli or clean up his bedroom is probably not a big deal.
   
   However, smoking and failing grades will require you to get involved. , If you have a spouse or partner with whom you are raising your teen, get together to discuss what you expect and how you will handle behavior and discipline issues.
   
   Talk this out with a close family member or trusted friend if you are a single parent. , Sending a teenager to her room is no longer going to have the positive effect it might have on a 10-year-old.
   
   Try limiting cell phone access, driving privileges, computer time and social activities when necessary. , Some parents write up a "contract" that explains rules, privileges and consequences.
   
   Allow for discussion and explanation.
   
   While your teen should not be able to control or change what you have already decided, you should allow him to be heard.
   
   Explain anything that is unclear, and acknowledge that all parties have heard and understood the expectations.
   
   Talk about risks.
   
   Do not simply forbid drinking, drugs and premarital sex.
   
   Talk about the risks that come with those behaviors, and discuss the worst case scenarios. , This is a good opportunity to demonstrate your consistency and commitment to your rules and consequences.
   
   Do not weaken.
   
   You might be tempted to give in, but stand your ground, otherwise there will be no consistency. , If a rule needs to be changed, explain to your teen why you are allowing it.
   
   For example, if a curfew on a school night is 8:00 p.m., but swim practice goes until 8:30, allow a later curfew only for the duration of swim season. , Check in with your teen during the day and when she is out at night. , In addition to being consistent with discipline and consequences, you must praise your teen on a regular basis as well.
   
   Celebrate improved grades, sports accomplishments and volunteer work. , Your teen needs to know you are there for her no matter what.
   
   Reinforce that she can always call you if her ride home has been drinking, for example.
   
   Get involved with her life without being intrusive.
   
   Get to know her friends, ask about her day and offer to help study for tests.
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   Step 3: Plan ahead.

4. 4

   Step 4: Decide on consequences that are age-appropriate.

5. 5

   Step 5: Communicate your expectations to your teen.

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   Step 6: Prepare to be tested.

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   Step 7: Make adjustments as necessary.

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   Step 8: Be consistent in your communication.

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   Step 9: Offer positive reinforcement consistently.

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    Step 10: Provide consistent support.

Detailed Guide

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