How to Change Behavior
Set clear goals., Make a realistic plan., Avoid making too many changes at once., Think positively., Change for yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Set clear goals.
Make sure the behaviors you want to change are specific, measurable, and attainable.
Give yourself some freedom in the goals you set.If you’re trying to begin exercising for the first time, a reasonable goal might be to go for a 20–30 minute walk five days per week.
This holds you accountable to walk more throughout the week, but is more gives you some wiggle room if something gets in your way.If you’re trying to eat healthier, a reasonable goal to start with might be to bring your lunch to work three days per week instead of eating out with coworkers.
Don’t set yourself up for failure by holding yourself to a standard of perfection.
Thinking that you will not have bad days or setbacks may lead you to be too hard on yourself when these things happen.
Expecting perfection may cause you to abandon your goals when really all you need to do is try again or readjust your expectations.
Be kind to yourself during this process — change can be difficult.
Be willing to step down your expectations if your initial plan is too demanding.
For example, if 20–30 minutes of walking for five days a week is too demanding on your schedule at the moment, you can always try performing body weight exercise for 10 minutes, five days per week.
Or try walking three days per week and work up to five. -
Step 2: Make a realistic plan.
Set yourself up for success by making sure you have practical ways to reach your goals.
Develop practical ways to deal with any obstacles that come up.Also, preparation can help ensure that you are supporting the behaviors you want to change and the new behaviors you would like to cultivate, ensuring that your plan is realistic and obtainable.
If you’re trying to eat healthier, a realistic plan may include setting aside time once per week to go to the grocery store or having fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods available for easy snacking.If you’re trying to quit smoking, a realistic plan might include avoiding being with your coworkers on their smoke breaks at work, having chewing gum available for cravings, or buying a nicotine patch. , Focusing on too many behavioral changes at the same time may be tempting, but it can be overwhelming.
You’ll be better able to keep track of your progress and stay motivated if you stick to one or two small, specific, and achievable goals.For example, if your goal is to be healthier overall, you should break that down into smaller goals.
Your goals might be to eat more vegetables, exercise more, and quit smoking.
Start with the easiest one and work at it first, then as you make progress in one area you can begin to work on the next one., Remind yourself of the reasons you’re making these changes.
Give yourself a pat on the back for all the hard work you’ve done.
Challenge or reframe any negative thoughts that come up.
Avoid black-or-white thinking.If you’re trying to exercise more, don’t say to yourself, “I’ll never be able to do this.” You can say to yourself, “This is going to be hard and new for me, but I can try.” Avoid catastrophizing, or automatically assuming the worst is going to happen.If you’re trying to quit smoking, you might jump to conclusions and say to yourself, “I just know I’m going to end up smoking again in two months.
I can’t handle this.” Instead you might say to yourself, “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can do this.
If I fail in two months, then I’ll try again in a different way.” Stop blaming yourself.Blaming yourself with negative statements like "I'm so stupid for beginning smoking in the first place," or, "I should have never let myself gain all that weight" won't help you achieve your goals and will just make you feel bad about yourself.
Forget the past — focus on what you're doing right now to make a positive change in your life.
Avoid filtering out the positive things that happen.
For example, if you’re trying to be more productive at work, don’t say to yourself, “This isn’t working.” Instead, try to remember the progress you have made., It will be harder to make changes to your behavior if you’re motivated out of guilt or fear or ultimatums.Choose behaviors that you actually want to change, not just that other people ask you to change, and you’ll be more likely to succeed.Ask yourself these questions when deciding what to change:
What am I getting out of this behavior? Is anyone pressuring me to change or not change this behavior? Is there anyone I need to avoid when changing this behavior? -
Step 3: Avoid making too many changes at once.
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Step 4: Think positively.
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Step 5: Change for yourself.
Detailed Guide
Make sure the behaviors you want to change are specific, measurable, and attainable.
Give yourself some freedom in the goals you set.If you’re trying to begin exercising for the first time, a reasonable goal might be to go for a 20–30 minute walk five days per week.
This holds you accountable to walk more throughout the week, but is more gives you some wiggle room if something gets in your way.If you’re trying to eat healthier, a reasonable goal to start with might be to bring your lunch to work three days per week instead of eating out with coworkers.
Don’t set yourself up for failure by holding yourself to a standard of perfection.
Thinking that you will not have bad days or setbacks may lead you to be too hard on yourself when these things happen.
Expecting perfection may cause you to abandon your goals when really all you need to do is try again or readjust your expectations.
Be kind to yourself during this process — change can be difficult.
Be willing to step down your expectations if your initial plan is too demanding.
For example, if 20–30 minutes of walking for five days a week is too demanding on your schedule at the moment, you can always try performing body weight exercise for 10 minutes, five days per week.
Or try walking three days per week and work up to five.
Set yourself up for success by making sure you have practical ways to reach your goals.
Develop practical ways to deal with any obstacles that come up.Also, preparation can help ensure that you are supporting the behaviors you want to change and the new behaviors you would like to cultivate, ensuring that your plan is realistic and obtainable.
If you’re trying to eat healthier, a realistic plan may include setting aside time once per week to go to the grocery store or having fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods available for easy snacking.If you’re trying to quit smoking, a realistic plan might include avoiding being with your coworkers on their smoke breaks at work, having chewing gum available for cravings, or buying a nicotine patch. , Focusing on too many behavioral changes at the same time may be tempting, but it can be overwhelming.
You’ll be better able to keep track of your progress and stay motivated if you stick to one or two small, specific, and achievable goals.For example, if your goal is to be healthier overall, you should break that down into smaller goals.
Your goals might be to eat more vegetables, exercise more, and quit smoking.
Start with the easiest one and work at it first, then as you make progress in one area you can begin to work on the next one., Remind yourself of the reasons you’re making these changes.
Give yourself a pat on the back for all the hard work you’ve done.
Challenge or reframe any negative thoughts that come up.
Avoid black-or-white thinking.If you’re trying to exercise more, don’t say to yourself, “I’ll never be able to do this.” You can say to yourself, “This is going to be hard and new for me, but I can try.” Avoid catastrophizing, or automatically assuming the worst is going to happen.If you’re trying to quit smoking, you might jump to conclusions and say to yourself, “I just know I’m going to end up smoking again in two months.
I can’t handle this.” Instead you might say to yourself, “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can do this.
If I fail in two months, then I’ll try again in a different way.” Stop blaming yourself.Blaming yourself with negative statements like "I'm so stupid for beginning smoking in the first place," or, "I should have never let myself gain all that weight" won't help you achieve your goals and will just make you feel bad about yourself.
Forget the past — focus on what you're doing right now to make a positive change in your life.
Avoid filtering out the positive things that happen.
For example, if you’re trying to be more productive at work, don’t say to yourself, “This isn’t working.” Instead, try to remember the progress you have made., It will be harder to make changes to your behavior if you’re motivated out of guilt or fear or ultimatums.Choose behaviors that you actually want to change, not just that other people ask you to change, and you’ll be more likely to succeed.Ask yourself these questions when deciding what to change:
What am I getting out of this behavior? Is anyone pressuring me to change or not change this behavior? Is there anyone I need to avoid when changing this behavior?
About the Author
Heather Parker
A seasoned expert in lifestyle and practical guides, Heather Parker combines 22 years of experience with a passion for teaching. Heather's guides are known for their clarity and practical value.
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