How to Communicate with Your Autistic Child
Consider your child's sensory needs., Presume competence., Use visual cues when asking questions if echolalia becomes a problem., Don't rush communication.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider your child's sensory needs.
Consider their sensory needs: touch & movement, smell, taste and texture of foods, sight, hearing/sounds.
Provide a calm environment to reduce intrusive stimuli, and If a child is overwhelmed, they may avoid a certain stimulus, recoil, or act like they are in pain.
If a child is understimulated, they may appear hyperactive, and seek out ways to fill their sensory appetite. -
Step 2: Presume competence.
Assume that your child can understand you, even if they don't look at you or react immediately.
Talk to them using the same level of language that you use for their siblings, or for their classmates.
Respectful parenting matters.Professionals, especially in ABA, may underestimate your child.Challenge your expectations about what attentive body language is.
Autistic children may fidget, look elsewhere, or otherwise use body language that is different from non-autistic body language.
That doesn't mean they aren't listening.
Don't treat them in a way that you wouldn't treat a non-autistic child. , When asked a question like "Do you want a banana or an apple?"
some children will automatically respond "apple." This can cause frustration for the child, and they may not know how to express that this is what they actually want.
Confirm this choice before moving forward.
Ariane Zurcher uses pointing to confirm her daughter's choices.
For example, "Point to this hand if you want an apple, and this hand if you want a banana."Other visual cues could include picture cards, or holding up the objects (when applicable).
If your child can reliably answer yes/no questions, try asking one of these to confirm. "You want a banana?"
If an autistic person feels pressured to provide a quick answer, they may have a harder time gathering their thoughts into words.Use patience and let them take as much time as they need.
Your flexibility can reduce anxiety around communication and make talking easier.
If an autistic person is silent after a question, it may be that they are thinking about how to answer.
Some autistic people have trouble identifying emotions and hunger, so they may need to think deeply about these things. -
Step 3: Use visual cues when asking questions if echolalia becomes a problem.
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Step 4: Don't rush communication.
Detailed Guide
Consider their sensory needs: touch & movement, smell, taste and texture of foods, sight, hearing/sounds.
Provide a calm environment to reduce intrusive stimuli, and If a child is overwhelmed, they may avoid a certain stimulus, recoil, or act like they are in pain.
If a child is understimulated, they may appear hyperactive, and seek out ways to fill their sensory appetite.
Assume that your child can understand you, even if they don't look at you or react immediately.
Talk to them using the same level of language that you use for their siblings, or for their classmates.
Respectful parenting matters.Professionals, especially in ABA, may underestimate your child.Challenge your expectations about what attentive body language is.
Autistic children may fidget, look elsewhere, or otherwise use body language that is different from non-autistic body language.
That doesn't mean they aren't listening.
Don't treat them in a way that you wouldn't treat a non-autistic child. , When asked a question like "Do you want a banana or an apple?"
some children will automatically respond "apple." This can cause frustration for the child, and they may not know how to express that this is what they actually want.
Confirm this choice before moving forward.
Ariane Zurcher uses pointing to confirm her daughter's choices.
For example, "Point to this hand if you want an apple, and this hand if you want a banana."Other visual cues could include picture cards, or holding up the objects (when applicable).
If your child can reliably answer yes/no questions, try asking one of these to confirm. "You want a banana?"
If an autistic person feels pressured to provide a quick answer, they may have a harder time gathering their thoughts into words.Use patience and let them take as much time as they need.
Your flexibility can reduce anxiety around communication and make talking easier.
If an autistic person is silent after a question, it may be that they are thinking about how to answer.
Some autistic people have trouble identifying emotions and hunger, so they may need to think deeply about these things.
About the Author
Richard Sanders
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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