How to Control Anger (Tweens and Teenagers)

Notice when you start to feel angry., Take deep breaths and think about something else., Try using visualization to calm down., Get a stress ball., Listen to calm music., Try a quick strategy to take your mind off your anger.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Notice when you start to feel angry.

    Your body starts to give hints that you are becoming angry before you even realize it.

    If you recognize your body's warning signs, you can calm yourself down before you do or say something you regret.

    You might feel yourself breathing faster than usual, or maybe your face is red and feels hot.

    Your hands might be clenched in fists, or you mind find that you are tensing up your jaw.Try to name the feeling you are experiencing and attribute it to something that happened as well.

    For example, you can try saying to yourself, "Ok, I'm mad because I didn't get want I wanted from that teacher.

    This is an uncomfortable feeling, but it will pass, then I can say something or ask her about it."
  2. Step 2: Take deep breaths and think about something else.

    As you feel your body warning you that you are becoming angry, try to calm yourself down right away.

    The more your body becomes agitated, the more difficult it will be to calm down.

    Breathe in through your nose as deeply as you can as you count to five.

    Then, breathe out through your mouth as you count down from five.

    Repeat this a couple of times. , Using visualization can help you to gain insight about yourself and it may help you to calm down as well.You can use a guided visualization CD or do a simple guided visualization on your own.

    The next time you are feeling angry, try sitting in a quiet, comfortable place and closing your eyes.

    You can also play some relaxing music to help you stay focused.

    Keep your eyes closed and then begin to visualize a serene place, such as a quiet lake in a forest, a sandy beach, or a mountaintop.

    Focus on the sights, sounds, smells, and feeling of this place.

    Continue doing this for around 10 to 15 minutes. , Stress balls can help you calm your anger down.

    Keep the ball with you when you know you're likely to get upset, like at school or at home, and squeeze it when you feel yourself start to become angry.

    You can pretend that the ball is the situation that is making you angry.

    Squeeze it and feel yourself releasing some of that anger into the ball. , Before you go to school or another place that you feel angry, listen to calming songs.

    You can even make a playlist on your MP3 player or phone with songs that make you feel calm, confident, or happy.

    Take deep breaths while listening; this will calm you down more.

    Try songs like Dan Wilson's "All Will Be Well," "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, or Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Some people with anxiety say that songs like these help them to stay calm when they're feeling upset., There are lots of things that you can try.

    Keep trying new strategies until you find one that works best for you.

    You might try:
    Counting to 10 slowly Asking someone you love for a hug Drawing a picture or painting a picture showing how you feel Getting outside to do something active, like running, riding a bike, or playing your favorite sport Asking a parent or guardian for a chore or task like baking cookies, folding laundry, or pulling weeds in the garden
  3. Step 3: Try using visualization to calm down.

  4. Step 4: Get a stress ball.

  5. Step 5: Listen to calm music.

  6. Step 6: Try a quick strategy to take your mind off your anger.

Detailed Guide

Your body starts to give hints that you are becoming angry before you even realize it.

If you recognize your body's warning signs, you can calm yourself down before you do or say something you regret.

You might feel yourself breathing faster than usual, or maybe your face is red and feels hot.

Your hands might be clenched in fists, or you mind find that you are tensing up your jaw.Try to name the feeling you are experiencing and attribute it to something that happened as well.

For example, you can try saying to yourself, "Ok, I'm mad because I didn't get want I wanted from that teacher.

This is an uncomfortable feeling, but it will pass, then I can say something or ask her about it."

As you feel your body warning you that you are becoming angry, try to calm yourself down right away.

The more your body becomes agitated, the more difficult it will be to calm down.

Breathe in through your nose as deeply as you can as you count to five.

Then, breathe out through your mouth as you count down from five.

Repeat this a couple of times. , Using visualization can help you to gain insight about yourself and it may help you to calm down as well.You can use a guided visualization CD or do a simple guided visualization on your own.

The next time you are feeling angry, try sitting in a quiet, comfortable place and closing your eyes.

You can also play some relaxing music to help you stay focused.

Keep your eyes closed and then begin to visualize a serene place, such as a quiet lake in a forest, a sandy beach, or a mountaintop.

Focus on the sights, sounds, smells, and feeling of this place.

Continue doing this for around 10 to 15 minutes. , Stress balls can help you calm your anger down.

Keep the ball with you when you know you're likely to get upset, like at school or at home, and squeeze it when you feel yourself start to become angry.

You can pretend that the ball is the situation that is making you angry.

Squeeze it and feel yourself releasing some of that anger into the ball. , Before you go to school or another place that you feel angry, listen to calming songs.

You can even make a playlist on your MP3 player or phone with songs that make you feel calm, confident, or happy.

Take deep breaths while listening; this will calm you down more.

Try songs like Dan Wilson's "All Will Be Well," "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, or Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Some people with anxiety say that songs like these help them to stay calm when they're feeling upset., There are lots of things that you can try.

Keep trying new strategies until you find one that works best for you.

You might try:
Counting to 10 slowly Asking someone you love for a hug Drawing a picture or painting a picture showing how you feel Getting outside to do something active, like running, riding a bike, or playing your favorite sport Asking a parent or guardian for a chore or task like baking cookies, folding laundry, or pulling weeds in the garden

About the Author

J

Judith Davis

Judith Davis specializes in lifestyle and practical guides and has been creating helpful content for over 2 years. Judith is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.

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