How to Convince Your Father You Are Not Autistic
Non-judgmentally ask your parents why they feel this way., Take some time to consider what they have told you., Research autism and its symptoms., Rid yourself of any misconceptions., Read how autistic people describe their experiences., Read about...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Non-judgmentally ask your parents why they feel this way.
Listening closely will help you understand exactly why they have come to this conclusion.
If you understand it, then you can be ready to refute it.
Here are some questions it may help to ask:
What symptoms have you noticed in me? What sort of research have you done? -
Step 2: Take some time to consider what they have told you.
Where, exactly, could they be mistaken, and why? Is there any truth to their words? Take some time to think about it.
Could your symptoms be explained by something else? Social anxiety, dyspraxia, avoidant personality disorder, sensory processing disorder, generalized anxiety, and simple introversion may be confused for autism.
Not all sources are reliable.
Anti-vaxxers and quacks are known to distort and invent facts, and Autism Speaks (the most prominent autism organization) has an entire boycott movement against it.
Your parents may have read misinformation. , Read the diagnostic criteria, and various articles describing autism.
Read how autistic people describe their brains (not only what non-autistics observe in them).
Here are some of the general symptoms:
Difficulty with communication (understanding and/or speaking) Trouble understanding what others are thinking; upsetting them by accident Fidgeting Difficulty staying organized and getting things done Trouble managing emotions Out-of-sync or lopsided development (e.g. reading long chapter books before learning to ride a bike) A few extremely passionate interests Sincerity, literal thinking Sensory sensitivity, or under-sensitivity (e.g. loud noises hurting you) , If you spout inaccurate information to your parents, they'll correct you and you'll feel like a fool.
You can also correct any misconceptions they may have.
Autistic people do care about others, often quite deeply.
However, not all of them know how to show this in ways that others understand.
Autism is not a childhood disability.
It is lifelong.
There is no "cure." Autism is not limited to white boys.
People of all ethnicities, ages, and genders can be autistic.
Autism is not an epidemic.
It isn't contagious, the word "epidemic" is misleading, and autistic people have many unique gifts to offer the world.
Each autistic person is different.
Some need a lot of support, while others go for decades without knowing why they're different.
The degree to which they have different symptoms may vary. , As you read, notice what you relate to, and don't relate to.
Keep an open mind.
If you relate to most of the experiences, there's a good chance you're on the spectrum.
Because each person is a unique individual, no one relates to every single experience. , Research each one the way you've approached autism, spending more time on the ones that sound more like you.
Consider whether you might have one or more of these instead of autism (or if you have some of these in addition to autism).
Social Anxiety is characterized by overwhelming fear around people, not cluelessness.
You might fear judgment and rejection, and have a hard time talking to people whom you don't consider "safe." You can make eye contact with "safe" people easily, but not others.
Dyspraxia is a movement disability.
You might be clumsy, have a hard time in sports, have difficulty with fine motor skills (writing, drawing, cutting food), and hurt yourself more often.
Sensory processing disorder distorts your senses.
You may be especially sensitive, or under-sensitive.
It often co-occurs with autism, but can occur without it.
Avoidant personality disorder is similar to intense shyness.
You might fear people, avoiding new situations for fear of humiliation, be unable to bear criticism, and have no close friends or lovers.
Introversion is a personality trait, not a disorder.
If you're quiet because you enjoy solitude and thinking, but don't have many autistic traits, you might only be an introvert. , If you find yourself relating to a number of the things you read, you could be on the spectrum.
It's possible to have most, but not all, of the common symptoms.
It's also possible to not realize right away that you have a symptom (not recognizing that your breakdowns are meltdowns, not realizing that your constant finger-tapping and bouncing is stimming).
Autism isn't an insult.
Being autistic wouldn't mean that anything's "wrong" with you, or that you should feel ashamed of your brain.
Diagnosis in teen or even adult years is possible.
Some people have more obvious symptoms than others. -
Step 3: Research autism and its symptoms.
-
Step 4: Rid yourself of any misconceptions.
-
Step 5: Read how autistic people describe their experiences.
-
Step 6: Read about disabilities and conditions that could be mistaken for autism.
-
Step 7: Consider the possibility that you are autistic.
Detailed Guide
Listening closely will help you understand exactly why they have come to this conclusion.
If you understand it, then you can be ready to refute it.
Here are some questions it may help to ask:
What symptoms have you noticed in me? What sort of research have you done?
Where, exactly, could they be mistaken, and why? Is there any truth to their words? Take some time to think about it.
Could your symptoms be explained by something else? Social anxiety, dyspraxia, avoidant personality disorder, sensory processing disorder, generalized anxiety, and simple introversion may be confused for autism.
Not all sources are reliable.
Anti-vaxxers and quacks are known to distort and invent facts, and Autism Speaks (the most prominent autism organization) has an entire boycott movement against it.
Your parents may have read misinformation. , Read the diagnostic criteria, and various articles describing autism.
Read how autistic people describe their brains (not only what non-autistics observe in them).
Here are some of the general symptoms:
Difficulty with communication (understanding and/or speaking) Trouble understanding what others are thinking; upsetting them by accident Fidgeting Difficulty staying organized and getting things done Trouble managing emotions Out-of-sync or lopsided development (e.g. reading long chapter books before learning to ride a bike) A few extremely passionate interests Sincerity, literal thinking Sensory sensitivity, or under-sensitivity (e.g. loud noises hurting you) , If you spout inaccurate information to your parents, they'll correct you and you'll feel like a fool.
You can also correct any misconceptions they may have.
Autistic people do care about others, often quite deeply.
However, not all of them know how to show this in ways that others understand.
Autism is not a childhood disability.
It is lifelong.
There is no "cure." Autism is not limited to white boys.
People of all ethnicities, ages, and genders can be autistic.
Autism is not an epidemic.
It isn't contagious, the word "epidemic" is misleading, and autistic people have many unique gifts to offer the world.
Each autistic person is different.
Some need a lot of support, while others go for decades without knowing why they're different.
The degree to which they have different symptoms may vary. , As you read, notice what you relate to, and don't relate to.
Keep an open mind.
If you relate to most of the experiences, there's a good chance you're on the spectrum.
Because each person is a unique individual, no one relates to every single experience. , Research each one the way you've approached autism, spending more time on the ones that sound more like you.
Consider whether you might have one or more of these instead of autism (or if you have some of these in addition to autism).
Social Anxiety is characterized by overwhelming fear around people, not cluelessness.
You might fear judgment and rejection, and have a hard time talking to people whom you don't consider "safe." You can make eye contact with "safe" people easily, but not others.
Dyspraxia is a movement disability.
You might be clumsy, have a hard time in sports, have difficulty with fine motor skills (writing, drawing, cutting food), and hurt yourself more often.
Sensory processing disorder distorts your senses.
You may be especially sensitive, or under-sensitive.
It often co-occurs with autism, but can occur without it.
Avoidant personality disorder is similar to intense shyness.
You might fear people, avoiding new situations for fear of humiliation, be unable to bear criticism, and have no close friends or lovers.
Introversion is a personality trait, not a disorder.
If you're quiet because you enjoy solitude and thinking, but don't have many autistic traits, you might only be an introvert. , If you find yourself relating to a number of the things you read, you could be on the spectrum.
It's possible to have most, but not all, of the common symptoms.
It's also possible to not realize right away that you have a symptom (not recognizing that your breakdowns are meltdowns, not realizing that your constant finger-tapping and bouncing is stimming).
Autism isn't an insult.
Being autistic wouldn't mean that anything's "wrong" with you, or that you should feel ashamed of your brain.
Diagnosis in teen or even adult years is possible.
Some people have more obvious symptoms than others.
About the Author
Dorothy Bailey
Brings years of experience writing about lifestyle and related subjects.
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