How to Cope With a Thankless and Blaming Eighteen Year Old Daughter

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Talk to your daughter.

   If you don't ask her why she's upset, or angry, then she will pull away a little bit more.
   
   If she is not willing to talk about it, wisely put your concern aside for the moment and ask open-ended questions about her day or goals or interests or friends.
   
   However, ask interesting questions: a 'how did your day go?' Will just be responded to with a 'good.' If she begins to trust you, you may be able to share about your own.
   
   Be sensitive to how much she is willing to hear and talk about at each interaction.
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   Step 2: Ask her if there is anything she wants to talk about

   Let her know that you want what's best for her, but she needs to open up and tell you how she is feeling, so you can talk to her about it. , It will demonstrate that you value her opinion! , At eighteen, you have a lot of new stress--not only with school, but also considering a career, and glimpsing into the future ahead.
   
   She may be just trying to sort out her life, and finding who she is.
   
   The way she is acting, could simply be her way of coping with all these issues of life. , This also let's her know you care.
   
   Do an activity (or two) a couple times a week, if possible. , (Calling her to see how she is doing counts, too).
   
   Regularity is important.
   
   Check on her just to see how she is doing.
   
   Don't be thrown off by a temper.
   
   But don't pry (until or unless she has grown to trust you when you do).
   
   If you have time, ask open ended questions with gentleness and having faith in her and her future. , Teenagers hate being analysed like animals, and doing this will just push her further away.
   
   For example, teens hate those 'Why is your teen behaving like she is?' articles because they act like teens aren't human, and must be acting up because of some kind of thing that doesn't affect regular humans.
   
   For example, if an adult has a bad day at work, they will act stressed, and everyone will think, 'Oh, they must be stressed from work.' But, if a teenager has a bad day at school, and they act stressed, adults will try to analyse their behaviour, and assume they're acting stressed to get attention or something.
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   Step 3: reassure her by telling her you love her

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   Step 4: and you'll always be there.

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   Step 5: Ask her advice; talk to her about things that you are experiencing

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   Step 6: and genuinely ask her perspective on the situation or how to do things differently

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   Step 7: even if you think you know the answer.

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   Step 8: She is eighteen

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   Step 9: so chances are

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    Step 10: that it's the normal stages of being teen-age.

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    Step 11: Find an activity you can do together where she won't feel judged (look through LifeGuide Hub!).

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    Step 12: More importantly

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    Step 13: check on or mildly interact with her--daily

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    Step 14: but also a few times throughout the day or whenever you are both home.

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    Step 15: Don't treat her like some kind of non-human just because she's a teenager.

Detailed Guide

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