How to Cope With Being Unloved by Your Parents

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Talk to a trustworthy friend or family member.

   Sometimes just talking to someone about what you are dealing with can make you feel better.Try talking to a trustworthy friend or family member about what has been happening in your home life.
   
   For example, you could try talking with a close friend about the way that your parents make you feel.
   
   Choose someone you feel comfortable talking to and who you know will not turn around and repeat what you said to your parents.
   
   Try to avoid becoming too dependent on this person for your emotional needs.
   
   Just talk when you need someone to listen to you.
   
   If you find yourself calling several times a day for reassurance, then you may be developing a codependent relationship with this person.
   
   Talk to your school counselor or therapist if you find yourself depending more and more on other people for validation.
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   Step 2: Find a mentor.

   Mentors can guide you through important life decisions and teach you things that your parents are not willing or able to teach you.
   
   You can find a mentor to help you learn new skills for navigating difficult situations, succeeding in school, or advancing your professional career.
   
   Try asking a trustworthy, responsible adult in your life to mentor you, such as a coach, a teacher, or a boss.If your coach or boss offers to mentor you, make sure that you take him or her up on that offer; however, you can also try asking someone to mentor you, such as by saying, “I admire your success in life and I hope to achieve many of the same things you have someday.
   
   I am not sure how to get there.
   
   Would you be willing to mentor me?” Try to avoid becoming too dependent on your mentor.
   
   Keep in mind that a mentor cannot replace your parents you should not look to this person for parental guidance.
   
   A mentor is just someone who can help you reach your goals in school, work, or in another specific area of your life. , Learning to cope with your parents’ behavior can be difficult, so you may need to seek help from a therapist or school counselor.
   
   A therapist or your school counselor can help you to develop coping mechanisms and begin to feel better about yourself.If your school has a counselor, stop by and see if you can make an appointment to talk.
   
   If you feel uncomfortable doing this or you're not sure how to go about it, talk to a teacher you trust.
   
   Try asking your parents if you can see a therapist by saying something like, “I have been struggling with some things lately, and I would like to see a therapist to talk about them.
   
   Can you help me find one?” Keep in mind that if your parents are abusing you, then your therapist or school counselor will be required to report it. , If your parents seem to favor a sibling over you, it doesn’t mean they love one of you any more or less.
   
   There could be a situational reason why they treat your sibling with more thoughtfulness or effort.
   
   Most of the time it is also unintentional, and your parents may not even realize they are treating you differently.
   
   Most aren’t trying to make you feel unloved but aren’t aware of how their actions affect kids mentally and emotionally.Try not to focus on how your parents treat your siblings.
   
   Instead, just focus on your relationship with them , It can be hard to dismiss criticism and hurtful language from people who are supposed to love you, even if you know that what they are saying isn’t true.
   
   Remember that your parents’ behavior and words is about them and not about you.The next time one of your parents says something mean or does something to hurt you, try telling yourself, “I am a good person with value.
   
   My parents are just struggling with personal issues and that is why they said/did that.” , Some children who are mistreated by their parents treat themselves badly as well, such as by cutting, using alcohol or drugs, or intentionally failing at school.
   
   Doing these things will not make you feel better in the long run.
   
   Instead of doing these things, make sure that you nurture yourself, such as by:
   Maintaining a healthy diet.
   
   Exercising moderately most days of the week.
   
   Starting a daily meditation practice.
   
   Not smoking and not using drugs or alcohol. , People who grow up in unloving households may be more prone to negative self-talk, which can damage your self-esteem.
   
   To train your mind to think positive things about yourself, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
   
   For example, if you hear yourself repeating something your parents said like “You’re stupid if you can’t figure out division problems,” you might replace it with: “Learning long division is challenging, but I can succeed by working hard at it.” , To get started, make a chart with four columns.
   
   In the first column, make a list of your negative beliefs.
   
   These might include things like, “I am not good at making decisions,” or, “I am not very smart.” In the second, explain why you believe these things.
   
   Did your parents tell you these things or do things to cause you to feel this way? In the third column, think about what believing this is costing you emotionally and in your personal life: are you depressed, withdrawn, afraid to try new things and fail, afraid to trust others or let people in, etc.? List briefly but specifically what you are missing out on by letting yourself continue believing this negative self-image.
   
   Then for the final column, rewrite the thought to make it positive.
   
   For example, you might change a thought about your intelligence to something like, “I am an intelligent, capable person and I have accomplished many things using my brain.” , Developing a happy, full life outside of your home will help you to feel happier even if your home life is not happy.Finding valuable ways that you can contribute to the world while being an active part of your community can help you rebuild your self-worth and confidence by focusing your attention on your well-being and happiness.
   
   Try volunteering for a local non-profit organization, getting a job that you will enjoy, or joining a youth organization or sports team.
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   Step 3: Seek help from a therapist or school counselor.

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   Step 4: Resist comparing how they treat you and your siblings.

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   Step 5: Try not to take it personally.

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   Step 6: Be kind to yourself.

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   Step 7: Replace negative self-talk with self-love.

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   Step 8: Write yourself a positivity cheat sheet.It may help you to examine any negative thoughts that are interfering with your ability to love yourself and write some positive thoughts to replace them.

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   Step 9: Get out of the house more.

Detailed Guide

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