How to Cope with Your Ex Visiting Frequently to See Your Baby

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Be grateful that he still shows an interest in his child.

   Many dads who leave find this a great opportunity to let go altogether and not stay involved with the raising of the child.
   
   You are in a lucky situation from that point of view at least.
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   Step 2: Have someone at home if you feel scared

   If there was abuse (verbal, emotional, physical) prior to the break up, it is a good idea to have somebody at your place every time he arrives to see the baby.
   
   That way you have support and he knows to behave.
   
   If you cannot trust him at all, you need to seek a restraining order and not allow him around at all, but this article is presuming that he isn't that untrustworthy.
   
   All the same, have somebody there to help shore up your sense of support and safety. , If you don't like him coming to your place, choose another place where both of you can meet in public, such as a cafe, a child's playground, etc.
   
   Alternately, drop the baby off at his place, with the only time you need to connect being the handing over and collecting times.
   
   This will all depend on what you feel most comfortable with and know you can trust to be OK. , Let them know that you appreciate their responsibility toward their grandchild too.
   
   That way, they can keep an eye on his behavior and suggest tips for helping to raise your baby. , If your ex wants a part of rearing your child, as already stated, you are in a lucky position.
   
   Try to maintain your own sense of strength even if you want your relationship back.
   
   Accept the things as they are and don't pine for the past; your baby needs to grow up knowing she is loved and not used as a barter or a tug-of-war in a relationship that is either messy or full of unrequited hope. , Focus on the child, and discussing her rather than discussing each other. ,
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   Step 3: nervous

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   Step 4: or worried about anything.

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   Step 5: Select a neutral meeting place.

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   Step 6: Try to keep in touch with his family.

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   Step 7: Be strong.

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   Step 8: Minimize the direct contact with your ex if it really upsets you (see step above on arranging drop off or neutral zones) and keep all your conversation at the level of civility.

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   Step 9: If you must discuss your relationship

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    Step 10: get a babysitter and go and sit down at a specified time in a local cafe to work things out – your child should not be subject to the likely upset and pain such discussions will bring.

Detailed Guide

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