How to Deal With an Abusive Father
Know the warning signs of potential abuse., Get away and go somewhere safe., Call for help., Comply with authority figures., Get therapy or counseling.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know the warning signs of potential abuse.
Fathers who use alcohol or other drugs and have low impulse control are more likely to sexually abuse their children.Anger or stress, relationship problems, and domestic violence are all predictors of abuse against children.If you notice things getting worse in your home, make sure you have your safety plan handy and you are ready to escape from the situation if you need to.
You may be in immediate danger if your father is: currently threatening to harm you or abuse you, carrying a weapon (including heavy objects), chasing you with an intent to abuse you, or if you are currently being physically hurt or sexually abused. -
Step 2: Get away and go somewhere safe.
If you are currently in danger of being abused (physically or sexually), you need to get help immediately.
If you don’t have access to a phone to call for help, get away from the abusive situation and find a safe place to go.
If you are at home, think of the best way to exit and use it.
This could be through a window, door, or out the backyard.
Good places to go include: a trusted neighbor’s house, a friend’s house, or a public place where phones are available.
Do not hide in your bedroom, you could get stuck there and not be able to escape easily if something goes wrong. , If you are in imminent danger or are currently being physically or sexually abused, call for help immediately.
You can call your local emergency contact number(i.e. 911) or the police/law enforcement station.
Consider calling a Child Services Hotline.They are trained to deal with abuse.
Be prepared to answer questions about when and how your father has abused you.
You can also contact a mandated reporter (teacher, therapist). , If you called the police or child services, they may arrive and interview you.
Police, social workers, therapists or others may want to talk with you about the situation.
They will most likely also speak to your legal guardian or guardians (parent or other person who is legally allowed to take care of you).
Be honest when asked questions about the abuse.
Know that these people are trying to understand the situation better so that they can work to keep you safe.
Child Protective Services will ask you questions and intervene.
The government agency or social services organization that deals with your case may require you and your father to receive psychological intervention, such as therapy or parenting classes.
In very severe cases, children may be removed from the home or separated from the parent until the abusive situation is resolved.
The police may conduct an investigation and speak to you and your parents or legal guardians.
In severe cases, and if you choose to press charges, your father may undergo a trial. , If you have endured an abusive situation, the trauma will not resolve itself.
It is essential that you seek the help of a therapist or counselor.
The earlier you begin therapy, the better chance you have at recovery.
A therapist can help if you worry about being abused regularly, you avoid certain instances that remind you of the abuse, or if you have excessive feelings of guilt, shame, depression, or fear related to the abuse.
If your thoughts of the abuse prevent you from completing daily tasks or harm your interpersonal relationships, therapy can help.
You can work with a therapist to keep yourself safe and deal healthfully with the trauma you have endured.
If you are under the age of 18 you can talk to your school guidance counselor about getting therapy.
Unless your guardian has specifically forbidden you to see the counselor or for the counselor to see you, then parental consent is not necessary to receive counseling.The counselor must report known or suspected child abuse.Family therapy is also a helpful option to explore.Your therapist, or a separate one, can work with your family to create safety and reduce abuse.
Ask your therapist if this is an option or if she can provide you with a referral. -
Step 3: Call for help.
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Step 4: Comply with authority figures.
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Step 5: Get therapy or counseling.
Detailed Guide
Fathers who use alcohol or other drugs and have low impulse control are more likely to sexually abuse their children.Anger or stress, relationship problems, and domestic violence are all predictors of abuse against children.If you notice things getting worse in your home, make sure you have your safety plan handy and you are ready to escape from the situation if you need to.
You may be in immediate danger if your father is: currently threatening to harm you or abuse you, carrying a weapon (including heavy objects), chasing you with an intent to abuse you, or if you are currently being physically hurt or sexually abused.
If you are currently in danger of being abused (physically or sexually), you need to get help immediately.
If you don’t have access to a phone to call for help, get away from the abusive situation and find a safe place to go.
If you are at home, think of the best way to exit and use it.
This could be through a window, door, or out the backyard.
Good places to go include: a trusted neighbor’s house, a friend’s house, or a public place where phones are available.
Do not hide in your bedroom, you could get stuck there and not be able to escape easily if something goes wrong. , If you are in imminent danger or are currently being physically or sexually abused, call for help immediately.
You can call your local emergency contact number(i.e. 911) or the police/law enforcement station.
Consider calling a Child Services Hotline.They are trained to deal with abuse.
Be prepared to answer questions about when and how your father has abused you.
You can also contact a mandated reporter (teacher, therapist). , If you called the police or child services, they may arrive and interview you.
Police, social workers, therapists or others may want to talk with you about the situation.
They will most likely also speak to your legal guardian or guardians (parent or other person who is legally allowed to take care of you).
Be honest when asked questions about the abuse.
Know that these people are trying to understand the situation better so that they can work to keep you safe.
Child Protective Services will ask you questions and intervene.
The government agency or social services organization that deals with your case may require you and your father to receive psychological intervention, such as therapy or parenting classes.
In very severe cases, children may be removed from the home or separated from the parent until the abusive situation is resolved.
The police may conduct an investigation and speak to you and your parents or legal guardians.
In severe cases, and if you choose to press charges, your father may undergo a trial. , If you have endured an abusive situation, the trauma will not resolve itself.
It is essential that you seek the help of a therapist or counselor.
The earlier you begin therapy, the better chance you have at recovery.
A therapist can help if you worry about being abused regularly, you avoid certain instances that remind you of the abuse, or if you have excessive feelings of guilt, shame, depression, or fear related to the abuse.
If your thoughts of the abuse prevent you from completing daily tasks or harm your interpersonal relationships, therapy can help.
You can work with a therapist to keep yourself safe and deal healthfully with the trauma you have endured.
If you are under the age of 18 you can talk to your school guidance counselor about getting therapy.
Unless your guardian has specifically forbidden you to see the counselor or for the counselor to see you, then parental consent is not necessary to receive counseling.The counselor must report known or suspected child abuse.Family therapy is also a helpful option to explore.Your therapist, or a separate one, can work with your family to create safety and reduce abuse.
Ask your therapist if this is an option or if she can provide you with a referral.
About the Author
Joshua Butler
Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.
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