How to Deal with an Autistic Sibling
Listen when they say “enough” or “no more.” Autistic people are easily overwhelmed with sensory information., Pay attention to their “stim” cues., Try sitting next to them., Give them their space., Encourage them to draw., Compliment them often...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen when they say “enough” or “no more.” Autistic people are easily overwhelmed with sensory information.
They're not trying to be rude.
They're trying their best to be comfortable in the world.Talk with your parents about using “break cards” with your siblings.
A break card is simply a card that says something like “I need a break.” Especially helpful for non-verbal children, the card provides another way for your sibling to communicate that they need to get away from someone or from an activity that is stressing them out.If you decide to use a break card, be sure to talk through how it will be used.
Will your sibling point to it, or carry it with them? When will the break end, and what will happen during the break? -
Step 2: Pay attention to their “stim” cues.
Physically, autistic people engage in self-stimulating behavior (often called “stimming”).
These behaviors (such as flapping hands, rocking, twirling, or repeatedly playing with the same objects) calm them down, make them feel good, and help them feel balanced.Most of these stimming behaviors are safe but will seem unnerving to people who do not understand the connection the behaviors have to the autistic child's life.
Don't let stimming worry you.
If your autistic sibling is stimming, treat it like a natural behavior, and continue doing whatever you were doing.
Alert a parent if your sibling is doing self-injurious stims, so they can ask a therapist about finding a better stim for relieving stress. , Not every autistic child prefers close physical proximity, but some do, especially while your parents are teaching them about personal space.
For kids (especially non-verbal ones) who like standing or sitting close, the proximity can help them focus or calm, so instead of sitting across from them, try to sit next to them when you talk with them., Not every autistic child prefers close physical proximity, and most will enjoy having space to themselves.
Sometimes your sibling just won't want to play with you or hang out next to you.
Be patient with their mood changes. , Many autistic people, especially non-verbal people, are highly visual thinkers and as a result, they can often enjoy expressing themselves through art—and it can be a fun activity you can share with them., Use specific praise to reinforce the positive behaviors you are helping your sibling to learn.
It takes a lot of energy and concentration to follow the rules and act “normal.” Let them know you are happy with their efforts., Now that you better understand your sibling in theory, interaction will be easier.
Even if your sibling repeats words or doesn't talk, they are still capable of thinking and understanding you.
Talk to them as if they were a friend.
If they don't talk, watch their body language or stims for cues.
Don't yell at them or treat them like a baby.
This will hurt their feelings and make them distrust you. , When autistic people attempt to physically wander off, it is usually a form of communicating “I want,” or “I don't want,” or “I need” something.
Paying attention to the situation leading up to this behavior will help you learn more about what your sibling is trying to say—and will also help keep them safe. -
Step 3: Try sitting next to them.
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Step 4: Give them their space.
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Step 5: Encourage them to draw.
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Step 6: Compliment them often.
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Step 7: Talk to them.
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Step 8: Interpret their attempts at wandering.
Detailed Guide
They're not trying to be rude.
They're trying their best to be comfortable in the world.Talk with your parents about using “break cards” with your siblings.
A break card is simply a card that says something like “I need a break.” Especially helpful for non-verbal children, the card provides another way for your sibling to communicate that they need to get away from someone or from an activity that is stressing them out.If you decide to use a break card, be sure to talk through how it will be used.
Will your sibling point to it, or carry it with them? When will the break end, and what will happen during the break?
Physically, autistic people engage in self-stimulating behavior (often called “stimming”).
These behaviors (such as flapping hands, rocking, twirling, or repeatedly playing with the same objects) calm them down, make them feel good, and help them feel balanced.Most of these stimming behaviors are safe but will seem unnerving to people who do not understand the connection the behaviors have to the autistic child's life.
Don't let stimming worry you.
If your autistic sibling is stimming, treat it like a natural behavior, and continue doing whatever you were doing.
Alert a parent if your sibling is doing self-injurious stims, so they can ask a therapist about finding a better stim for relieving stress. , Not every autistic child prefers close physical proximity, but some do, especially while your parents are teaching them about personal space.
For kids (especially non-verbal ones) who like standing or sitting close, the proximity can help them focus or calm, so instead of sitting across from them, try to sit next to them when you talk with them., Not every autistic child prefers close physical proximity, and most will enjoy having space to themselves.
Sometimes your sibling just won't want to play with you or hang out next to you.
Be patient with their mood changes. , Many autistic people, especially non-verbal people, are highly visual thinkers and as a result, they can often enjoy expressing themselves through art—and it can be a fun activity you can share with them., Use specific praise to reinforce the positive behaviors you are helping your sibling to learn.
It takes a lot of energy and concentration to follow the rules and act “normal.” Let them know you are happy with their efforts., Now that you better understand your sibling in theory, interaction will be easier.
Even if your sibling repeats words or doesn't talk, they are still capable of thinking and understanding you.
Talk to them as if they were a friend.
If they don't talk, watch their body language or stims for cues.
Don't yell at them or treat them like a baby.
This will hurt their feelings and make them distrust you. , When autistic people attempt to physically wander off, it is usually a form of communicating “I want,” or “I don't want,” or “I need” something.
Paying attention to the situation leading up to this behavior will help you learn more about what your sibling is trying to say—and will also help keep them safe.
About the Author
Kathryn Ross
With a background in agriculture and gardening, Kathryn Ross brings 3 years of hands-on experience to every article. Kathryn believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
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