How to Deal with Step Parents and Step Siblings

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Don't expect an overnight friendship.

   You won’t immediately become close with a stepparent, and that is okay.
   
   In fact, his or her relationship with you will never be the same as with your biological parents.
   
   If a stepparent is coming on too strong, let him know know you just want to take it easy for a while.
   
   There is nothing wrong with letting a relationship develop naturally over time., Your stepparent(s) have a "job" in the family and in your life.
   
   They won’t have the same role in your life as your biological parents, but they will still be around.
   
   Tell them what you want them to do for you, and what you don’t want them to do.
   
   Don’t approach them intending to tell them how they’ve upset you, but to establish a line of communication.
   
   For example, try telling them if you would like their help with doing your schoolwork.
   
   You also might tell them that you would rather your biological parents give you relationship advice. , When conflicts arise, children are more likely to agree with their biological parent than their stepparent.Recognize this and try to view her words and actions without factoring in your relationship with her.
   
   She will appreciate you siding with her on an issue even though you may not have come to appreciate her yet.
   
   If you find yourself upset at something she says, take a step back and think about it.
   
   If your biological parent had said it, would you still be upset? Try to appreciate her contributions to the family as you would your biological parent.
   
   For example, if she organizes a barbecue, try to enjoy it as you would your mom or dad's event.
   
   Most importantly, try to see her side in family disputes.
   
   Sometimes, you may be what holds the family and stepfamily together. , You may not like that your parent remarried, but the stepparent has an uphill battle winning over the whole family.
   
   Give him time to get used to being around new children.
   
   Being understanding with him should help reduce the amount he gets frustrated with their new family. , It is common for relationships between a stepparent and a stepchild to suffer from gender confusion.
   
   For example, a stepfather may be confused about whether it’s appropriate to hug a stepdaughter the same way as a biological daughter.
   
   If he is being too physically affectionate for your comfort, let him know.This should be communicated to him in a caring way.
   
   For example, you might say: "I know you just want to be close to me and I appreciate that, but I'm not ready for you to hug me tight yet.
   
   I'll let you know when I am."
   
   If you are less laid-back than your siblings, you may have trouble adjusting to the new stepparent.
   
   Let your parents know that you want the family to be happy, but want them to help you adjust.
   
   Communicating that you want to do your best to get to know your stepparent will improve your relationship with your biological and stepparents.
   
   For example, you could tell them: "I'm trying to get used to this new family situation, but transitions can be really hard for me.
   
   Can you help me take this new father-son dynamic slow for a while and let it develop?" This doesn't put them in the driver's seat, but it does put them in the passenger's seat, helping you navigate the waters.
2. 2

   Step 2: Communicate your expectations.

3. 3

   Step 3: Try to be impartial.

4. 4

   Step 4: Recognize the stepparent’s challenges.

5. 5

   Step 5: Let your stepparent know if you are uncomfortable.

6. 6

   Step 6: Let your biological parent(s) help.

Detailed Guide

About the Author