How to Deal with Your Baby's Preference for One Parent

Leave the baby alone with the parent., Encourage the bond between the parents., Spend time as a family., Reassure your child if they won’t stay with the other parent., Determine if one parent does all the disciplinary tasks., Share the...

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Leave the baby alone with the parent.

    When your baby prefers one parent over the other, help by leaving the left out parent alone with the baby.

    This helps the baby interact and bond with the other parent without the preferred parent there to distract them.The parent and baby can move to a separate room or go out together, like to the park.
  2. Step 2: Encourage the bond between the parents.

    If you are the parent your child prefers, help the other parent by talking positively about them.

    Your child may take the lead from you and warm up to the other parent when they see that you like them.For example, you may say, “Your mommy is really good at playing tea party” or “You are lucky to have a dad like yours.

    He loves you so much and loves spending time with you.” , To help your child grow closer to both parents, do things together.

    Let your child see you both interacting.

    If you are together, let them see you show affection towards one another.

    If you are not, show them you have a positive relationship.For example, you can eat meals together or take 15 to 20 minutes to play a game or read a story. , Sometimes, a child may not want to stay with the other parent.

    If this occurs, reassure your child that they are safe with the other parent and that the other parent loves them very much.For example, if your child won’t let the other parent tuck them in, tell them, “Your mother/father loves you very much.

    They would love to tuck you in sometimes.” If they don’t want you to help them get dressed, tell them, “We are so lucky to be a family.

    We all love you so very much.” Then, try distracting the child with a silly face or by playing a game with them. , Sometimes, preference comes from how your child interacts with both parents.

    If one parent does all the seemingly negative tasks, like discipline, making the child clean up, and enforcing bedtime, the child may be closer to the seemingly less strict parent.

    If this happens in your family, share the discipline or "negative" tasks.

    That way your child will understand that discipline comes from both parents, and it is not a bad thing. , If one parent takes care of the child all day, they may develop an attachment for that child.

    The child may also bond with the parent who takes care of them more strongly than the parent who doesn't.

    If this is the case, the other parent should take a more active role in taking care of the child.For example, if one parent works more and doesn’t help with meals, baths, or bedtime, the child may prefer the parent who is around all the time.

    To help with this, let the parent who works give the child a bath at night, read them a story, or put them to bed.
  3. Step 3: Spend time as a family.

  4. Step 4: Reassure your child if they won’t stay with the other parent.

  5. Step 5: Determine if one parent does all the disciplinary tasks.

  6. Step 6: Share the responsibility of taking care of the child.

Detailed Guide

When your baby prefers one parent over the other, help by leaving the left out parent alone with the baby.

This helps the baby interact and bond with the other parent without the preferred parent there to distract them.The parent and baby can move to a separate room or go out together, like to the park.

If you are the parent your child prefers, help the other parent by talking positively about them.

Your child may take the lead from you and warm up to the other parent when they see that you like them.For example, you may say, “Your mommy is really good at playing tea party” or “You are lucky to have a dad like yours.

He loves you so much and loves spending time with you.” , To help your child grow closer to both parents, do things together.

Let your child see you both interacting.

If you are together, let them see you show affection towards one another.

If you are not, show them you have a positive relationship.For example, you can eat meals together or take 15 to 20 minutes to play a game or read a story. , Sometimes, a child may not want to stay with the other parent.

If this occurs, reassure your child that they are safe with the other parent and that the other parent loves them very much.For example, if your child won’t let the other parent tuck them in, tell them, “Your mother/father loves you very much.

They would love to tuck you in sometimes.” If they don’t want you to help them get dressed, tell them, “We are so lucky to be a family.

We all love you so very much.” Then, try distracting the child with a silly face or by playing a game with them. , Sometimes, preference comes from how your child interacts with both parents.

If one parent does all the seemingly negative tasks, like discipline, making the child clean up, and enforcing bedtime, the child may be closer to the seemingly less strict parent.

If this happens in your family, share the discipline or "negative" tasks.

That way your child will understand that discipline comes from both parents, and it is not a bad thing. , If one parent takes care of the child all day, they may develop an attachment for that child.

The child may also bond with the parent who takes care of them more strongly than the parent who doesn't.

If this is the case, the other parent should take a more active role in taking care of the child.For example, if one parent works more and doesn’t help with meals, baths, or bedtime, the child may prefer the parent who is around all the time.

To help with this, let the parent who works give the child a bath at night, read them a story, or put them to bed.

About the Author

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Timothy Davis

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