How to Deal with Your Parents Keeping Secrets As an Adult
Choose an appropriate time to talk., State your intentions., Ask why they kept the secret from you., Be honest., Ask a medical professional to talk with elderly parents.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose an appropriate time to talk.
If you want to have a serious conversation with your parents about keeping secrets, you should broach the topic when your parents are not busy.
It would be difficult to have an important and meaningful conversation when your parents are preoccupied with another task.For example, ask your parents to go on a walk or go for a car ride.
This will allow you to have their undivided attention and will give you an opportunity to talk with them about your feelings. -
Step 2: State your intentions.
A good way to begin a tough conversation with your parents is by being straightforward and communicating what it is that you want from the conversation.
You could begin by saying "Mom and dad, I have something that I want to get off my chest and I need you to listen to me." This communicates to your parents that you want them to pay attention to what you are about to say.You could also say, "I need to ask you a question and I am looking for some advice on how we can handle this situation better if it arises again in the future." This way you are communicating to your parents that you value their opinions and want to come to an agreeable solution. , Once you have a clear mind, you can approach your parents and ask them why they chose to keep a secret from you.
For example, they may have been protecting you or maybe they were worried about how you would react to the news.If your parents give you feedback that they kept something from you because they were worried about how you might react, try to be receptive to this constructive criticism.
Being willing to listen to what they have to say can help to improve your relationship and the flow of your communication.
Think back on previous times when your parents have confided in you and ask yourself: “Did I keep the secret?” “Was I judgmental about things they told me?” , When you are communicating with your parents about keeping secrets, you should be honest.
For instance, if you are concerned that your parents are keeping important information about their health and well-being from you, then you should explain to them why this concerns you.For example, you could say "Dad, let me know the next time you are feeling pain in your knee that way I can help you with some tasks around the house."
If you are unable to get through to your parents, you can ask their family doctor to talk with them about the importance of telling people when they need help.
When this type of information comes from a medical professional, your parents may be more apt to accept that they need your support.You can also have someone else who they trust talk with them about this issue, such as a family friend, cousin, or spiritual leader. -
Step 3: Ask why they kept the secret from you.
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Step 4: Be honest.
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Step 5: Ask a medical professional to talk with elderly parents.
Detailed Guide
If you want to have a serious conversation with your parents about keeping secrets, you should broach the topic when your parents are not busy.
It would be difficult to have an important and meaningful conversation when your parents are preoccupied with another task.For example, ask your parents to go on a walk or go for a car ride.
This will allow you to have their undivided attention and will give you an opportunity to talk with them about your feelings.
A good way to begin a tough conversation with your parents is by being straightforward and communicating what it is that you want from the conversation.
You could begin by saying "Mom and dad, I have something that I want to get off my chest and I need you to listen to me." This communicates to your parents that you want them to pay attention to what you are about to say.You could also say, "I need to ask you a question and I am looking for some advice on how we can handle this situation better if it arises again in the future." This way you are communicating to your parents that you value their opinions and want to come to an agreeable solution. , Once you have a clear mind, you can approach your parents and ask them why they chose to keep a secret from you.
For example, they may have been protecting you or maybe they were worried about how you would react to the news.If your parents give you feedback that they kept something from you because they were worried about how you might react, try to be receptive to this constructive criticism.
Being willing to listen to what they have to say can help to improve your relationship and the flow of your communication.
Think back on previous times when your parents have confided in you and ask yourself: “Did I keep the secret?” “Was I judgmental about things they told me?” , When you are communicating with your parents about keeping secrets, you should be honest.
For instance, if you are concerned that your parents are keeping important information about their health and well-being from you, then you should explain to them why this concerns you.For example, you could say "Dad, let me know the next time you are feeling pain in your knee that way I can help you with some tasks around the house."
If you are unable to get through to your parents, you can ask their family doctor to talk with them about the importance of telling people when they need help.
When this type of information comes from a medical professional, your parents may be more apt to accept that they need your support.You can also have someone else who they trust talk with them about this issue, such as a family friend, cousin, or spiritual leader.
About the Author
Sara Peterson
Specializes in breaking down complex creative arts topics into simple steps.
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