How to Deal With Your Sexually Active Teen
Ask questions., Be direct., Keep an open mind., Establish an honest relationship., Begin the conversation early.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask questions.
One of the best ways to deal with your teen is to work on effective communication.
This is especially true when they become sexually active.
It's important for the two of you to have productive conversations.
Asking good questions is a big part of that.If you are unsure if your teen is sexually active, you can ask.
Try saying, "Jenny, has your relationship with Bob progressed? Are you having sex?" Try not to spring the subject on your teen.
Depending on the individual, many teens feel embarrassed when asked about sex.
Instead, say, "I wanted to talk to you about something important.
Do you have a minute?" If you know for sure that your teen is having sex, there are a lot of questions you should ask.
One of the most important is, "Are you practicing safe sex?" You can also ask, "Do you need anything from me?" -
Step 2: Be direct.
When talking to your teen about sex, it is best to be direct.
This indicates that you are willing to have an open and honest conversation.
It lets your teen know that it is important to speak clearly about this topic.Try saying, "I'm aware that you and Stacy are having sex.
I need to know that you are using some form of birth control." You can also directly let your teen know that you are there to be supportive.
You can say, "If you need to talk at any time, I am here." Clearly state the facts and your opinions about sex.
For example, make it clear that oral sex is a form of sex, too. , Try to put your emotions and personal feelings aside when you are discussing sex with your teen.
You have a right to your beliefs and values, but you also want your teen to know it's safe to talk to you.
Make it clear that you are willing to listen objectively.You can say, "I might not personally agree with your decisions to become sexually active, but I love you and support you." Be a good listener.
Indicate through your words and body language that you are open to hearing what your teen has to say.
Nod your head and maintain eye contact.
You can also offer statements that show you are listening, such as, "That's interesting.
Tell me more." Don't expect your teen to have the same experience with sex that you have had.
Maybe you chose to wait for marriage, and that doesn't feel like a realistic option for your teen.
Try to be understanding. , After you have an initial discussion about sex, it's important not to just let the issue drop.
Make sure to keep the lines of communication open.
Check in with your teen frequently to see how they are handling sexual activity.Your conversations do not have to be explicit.
You can say, "How are things going with Bill? Are you having fun together?" Try to have an honest relationship with your teen.
Make it clear that you will be there to listen and to offer advice, if necessary.
Your entire relationship doesn't have to--and shouldn't--revolve around your teen's sex life.
Remember to have other conversations, too.
Don't forget to say things like, "Tell me how your art project is coming along." Or you could ask about platonic friends.
Have fun with your teen.
Don't let sex alter your relationship.
Continue to do the things you enjoy, such as cooking or watching a ballgame together. , Don't wait until your teen is sexually active to begin talking about sex.
Start the conversation when your child is younger.
The specific age is up to you, but many parents start talking to their children about sex towards the end of elementary school.Explain what sex is.
This way your child won't be confused by rumors being spread on the playground.
Establish early on that you are open to talking about sex.
That way, when your teen becomes sexually active, you will already have established some rapport.
You can also explain your sexual values to your child.
Help them to understand the emotional implications of sex, in addition to the physical components. -
Step 3: Keep an open mind.
-
Step 4: Establish an honest relationship.
-
Step 5: Begin the conversation early.
Detailed Guide
One of the best ways to deal with your teen is to work on effective communication.
This is especially true when they become sexually active.
It's important for the two of you to have productive conversations.
Asking good questions is a big part of that.If you are unsure if your teen is sexually active, you can ask.
Try saying, "Jenny, has your relationship with Bob progressed? Are you having sex?" Try not to spring the subject on your teen.
Depending on the individual, many teens feel embarrassed when asked about sex.
Instead, say, "I wanted to talk to you about something important.
Do you have a minute?" If you know for sure that your teen is having sex, there are a lot of questions you should ask.
One of the most important is, "Are you practicing safe sex?" You can also ask, "Do you need anything from me?"
When talking to your teen about sex, it is best to be direct.
This indicates that you are willing to have an open and honest conversation.
It lets your teen know that it is important to speak clearly about this topic.Try saying, "I'm aware that you and Stacy are having sex.
I need to know that you are using some form of birth control." You can also directly let your teen know that you are there to be supportive.
You can say, "If you need to talk at any time, I am here." Clearly state the facts and your opinions about sex.
For example, make it clear that oral sex is a form of sex, too. , Try to put your emotions and personal feelings aside when you are discussing sex with your teen.
You have a right to your beliefs and values, but you also want your teen to know it's safe to talk to you.
Make it clear that you are willing to listen objectively.You can say, "I might not personally agree with your decisions to become sexually active, but I love you and support you." Be a good listener.
Indicate through your words and body language that you are open to hearing what your teen has to say.
Nod your head and maintain eye contact.
You can also offer statements that show you are listening, such as, "That's interesting.
Tell me more." Don't expect your teen to have the same experience with sex that you have had.
Maybe you chose to wait for marriage, and that doesn't feel like a realistic option for your teen.
Try to be understanding. , After you have an initial discussion about sex, it's important not to just let the issue drop.
Make sure to keep the lines of communication open.
Check in with your teen frequently to see how they are handling sexual activity.Your conversations do not have to be explicit.
You can say, "How are things going with Bill? Are you having fun together?" Try to have an honest relationship with your teen.
Make it clear that you will be there to listen and to offer advice, if necessary.
Your entire relationship doesn't have to--and shouldn't--revolve around your teen's sex life.
Remember to have other conversations, too.
Don't forget to say things like, "Tell me how your art project is coming along." Or you could ask about platonic friends.
Have fun with your teen.
Don't let sex alter your relationship.
Continue to do the things you enjoy, such as cooking or watching a ballgame together. , Don't wait until your teen is sexually active to begin talking about sex.
Start the conversation when your child is younger.
The specific age is up to you, but many parents start talking to their children about sex towards the end of elementary school.Explain what sex is.
This way your child won't be confused by rumors being spread on the playground.
Establish early on that you are open to talking about sex.
That way, when your teen becomes sexually active, you will already have established some rapport.
You can also explain your sexual values to your child.
Help them to understand the emotional implications of sex, in addition to the physical components.
About the Author
Frances Hernandez
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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