How to Deal With Your Teenager (for Parents)
Treat them like a teen, not a child or adult., Be flexible with their freedoms., Focus on trust, not suspicion.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Treat them like a teen
Your teen is not a small child anymore, so it’s important to adjust your expectations and not treat them like a child.
However, teens are not quite adults and cannot be held responsible as an adult.
The teenage brain is in the middle of a critical stage of development, and teens need you to help them through this part of their lives.
They are not quite developed in their decision-making, reasoning, or in managing impulsivity.
Instead of assuming they will act and think like an adult, be prepared for some seemingly irrational behavior.If you’re disappointed because your teen keeps making the same mistakes, have some compassion and recognize that your teen is still learning a lot and nowhere near being an adult yet.
Part of being a teenager is learning through failure and mistakes.
Frame the negative experiences in their lives as learning opportunities. -
Step 2: not a child or adult.
If your teen is making an effort and showing their responsibility, allow more freedom.
If they are making bad choices, be more restrictive.
Ultimately, show them that their behavior gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices determine their outcomes.If your teen is asking for permission to do something you’re inclined to say no to, hear them out.
Say, “I’m not comfortable with this, but I want you to show me that you’re responsible enough to go to this concert with your friends.” Likewise, say, “I gave you freedom and you weren’t prepared for it, so we need to scale back now.” , It’s true that teens can get into a lot of trouble, but don’t focus your attention on the bad things they’ve done in the past or the risks they might face.
Even if your teen has greatly betrayed your trust, it is important for both of you to repair that trust.
If you think your teen may be up to something, have them explain it to you fully.
Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
If you’re not sure, say to your teen, “I’m concerned, but I’m choosing to trust you on this.”If your child does break your trust, take away a privilege and have them earn it back.
For example, if they stay out long after curfew, say they cannot drive for one week, and they must earn the use of the car after that by showing they can be responsible with time. -
Step 3: Be flexible with their freedoms.
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Step 4: Focus on trust
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Step 5: not suspicion.
Detailed Guide
Your teen is not a small child anymore, so it’s important to adjust your expectations and not treat them like a child.
However, teens are not quite adults and cannot be held responsible as an adult.
The teenage brain is in the middle of a critical stage of development, and teens need you to help them through this part of their lives.
They are not quite developed in their decision-making, reasoning, or in managing impulsivity.
Instead of assuming they will act and think like an adult, be prepared for some seemingly irrational behavior.If you’re disappointed because your teen keeps making the same mistakes, have some compassion and recognize that your teen is still learning a lot and nowhere near being an adult yet.
Part of being a teenager is learning through failure and mistakes.
Frame the negative experiences in their lives as learning opportunities.
If your teen is making an effort and showing their responsibility, allow more freedom.
If they are making bad choices, be more restrictive.
Ultimately, show them that their behavior gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices determine their outcomes.If your teen is asking for permission to do something you’re inclined to say no to, hear them out.
Say, “I’m not comfortable with this, but I want you to show me that you’re responsible enough to go to this concert with your friends.” Likewise, say, “I gave you freedom and you weren’t prepared for it, so we need to scale back now.” , It’s true that teens can get into a lot of trouble, but don’t focus your attention on the bad things they’ve done in the past or the risks they might face.
Even if your teen has greatly betrayed your trust, it is important for both of you to repair that trust.
If you think your teen may be up to something, have them explain it to you fully.
Ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
If you’re not sure, say to your teen, “I’m concerned, but I’m choosing to trust you on this.”If your child does break your trust, take away a privilege and have them earn it back.
For example, if they stay out long after curfew, say they cannot drive for one week, and they must earn the use of the car after that by showing they can be responsible with time.
About the Author
Katherine Harris
Enthusiastic about teaching cooking techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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