How to Determine if a Child is Transgender
Notice whether they make any remarks about their gender., Watch for signs of dissatisfaction with their private parts., Pay attention to their relationship with their personal aesthetic., Watch how they play., Notice who their playmates are...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Notice whether they make any remarks about their gender.
Young children may state their gender as a fact: "Daddy, you know I'm a girl, right?" They may classify themselves as another gender or go to the other side when told "boys line up here." -
Step 2: Watch for signs of dissatisfaction with their private parts.
They may cry about it, attempt to hide their body parts, et cetera.
In some cases, they may express desire to self-mutilate (in which case they should see a doctor immediately so they can be assured that transition can happen in the proper medical manner).
If your daughter wants to cut off her penis, tell her that this could kill her, and that a doctor can do it safely when she is eighteen (if she still wants to then).
Trans girls may insist on peeing sitting down, while trans boys might want to pee standing up, potentially leading to a mess., Cisgender children will naturally experiment a little with gender presentation, depending on their personality and tastes.
Transgender children may prefer to dress in ways that are not typically associated with their assigned sex.
Here are some ways this may manifest:
Only wanting clothes from the pink section or the blue section.
Of course, color associations for gender stem from cultural and societal expectations, not anything intrinsic, and this segregation by color is a fairly new phenomenon in human history.Kids of any gender can, of course, wear clothes of any color.
However, if the child already associates color with gender and repeatedly picks the one from the "other" section of the store, this could be a sign to consider.
Dressing up with objects (e.g. making a skirt out of blankets).
Wearing, or wanting to wear, their hair differently than is typical of their assigned sex.
Trans girls may want to grow their hair long, while trans boys may want it cut short.
Appearing so masculine/feminine that strangers think they are another gender. , Transgender children may pretend to be the a different gender while playing, or play in a way that is gendered differently than their assigned sex. , Children don't always choose friends of their own gender, but many do, particularly once the school years hit.However, transgender children may feel more comfortable around children of their actual gender.
A "girl" who plays with only boys may actually be a boy, and vice versa. , Transgender children may appear sad, withdrawn, or closed off from the world.
They may be diagnosed with depression.
This may quickly reverse once they are given clothes and a name that matches their real gender., Every child is different—they experience gender differently, and their comfort level may be different.
Take into account your child's personality and background.
When in doubt, start educating. , Start with LGBT organizations and the written work of transgender people.
Find out when transgender people realized their identity, and what led up to the change.
Watch videos on the internet about transgender people.
Cisgender people may get the facts wrong.
Consider work written by cisgender people to be supplementary to your research, rather than making it the body of your research.
Some transgender children don't fit the gender binary.
They may feel like both male and female, or like they have no gender, or something else.If you suspect this is the case, pay special attention to the writings of nonbinary transgender people. , Plenty of transgender people have compiled resources (e.g. picture books) for transgender children.
Read picture books starring transgender kids, and show them videos of a child whose parents thought they were one gender but they actually were another.
Explain the difference between a boy who likes girly things and a "boy" who turned out to be a girl.
Make sure that your child knows you love them whether they are transgender or not! , Let your child live completely as their stated gender for a weekend, or for the duration of a vacation.
Let them use a different name, use their desired pronouns, and dress as they please.
Transgender children will typically bloom during this time, seeming all the more vivacious and happy.
After the period is over, ask them what they thought of it, and if they would like to live this way all the time. , It is critical that you make sure you find a psychologist or clinic specialized in gender dysphoria in children.
Some psychologists believe that transgender children are disordered; this can be very harmful and make them feel as if they are broken.
Specialists will help your child in finding out whether it's 'a phase'
'just a tomboy' or actually gender dysphoria.
This can reassure children that they will be able to live as their true gender.
Puberty blockers are extremely low-risk and temporary, and knowing that these are a possibility can give your child peace of mind.
Never place them in gender conversion therapy (which seeks to coerce them into acting like their designated sex).
This is what led to Leelah Alcorn's death. , Even if it's just a phase, parental support is crucial.You can be supportive by listening well when they discuss their gender, buying them the clothes and toys they ask for, and letting them lead the way regarding their gender presentation. -
Step 3: Pay attention to their relationship with their personal aesthetic.
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Step 4: Watch how they play.
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Step 5: Notice who their playmates are.
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Step 6: Consider their mood.
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Step 7: Recognize that a transgender child may not exhibit all these signs.
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Step 8: Research transgender issues online.
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Step 9: Teach your child about transgender children.
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Step 10: Do a trial run.
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Step 11: Seek professional help.
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Step 12: Make sure your child knows that you take them seriously!
Detailed Guide
Young children may state their gender as a fact: "Daddy, you know I'm a girl, right?" They may classify themselves as another gender or go to the other side when told "boys line up here."
They may cry about it, attempt to hide their body parts, et cetera.
In some cases, they may express desire to self-mutilate (in which case they should see a doctor immediately so they can be assured that transition can happen in the proper medical manner).
If your daughter wants to cut off her penis, tell her that this could kill her, and that a doctor can do it safely when she is eighteen (if she still wants to then).
Trans girls may insist on peeing sitting down, while trans boys might want to pee standing up, potentially leading to a mess., Cisgender children will naturally experiment a little with gender presentation, depending on their personality and tastes.
Transgender children may prefer to dress in ways that are not typically associated with their assigned sex.
Here are some ways this may manifest:
Only wanting clothes from the pink section or the blue section.
Of course, color associations for gender stem from cultural and societal expectations, not anything intrinsic, and this segregation by color is a fairly new phenomenon in human history.Kids of any gender can, of course, wear clothes of any color.
However, if the child already associates color with gender and repeatedly picks the one from the "other" section of the store, this could be a sign to consider.
Dressing up with objects (e.g. making a skirt out of blankets).
Wearing, or wanting to wear, their hair differently than is typical of their assigned sex.
Trans girls may want to grow their hair long, while trans boys may want it cut short.
Appearing so masculine/feminine that strangers think they are another gender. , Transgender children may pretend to be the a different gender while playing, or play in a way that is gendered differently than their assigned sex. , Children don't always choose friends of their own gender, but many do, particularly once the school years hit.However, transgender children may feel more comfortable around children of their actual gender.
A "girl" who plays with only boys may actually be a boy, and vice versa. , Transgender children may appear sad, withdrawn, or closed off from the world.
They may be diagnosed with depression.
This may quickly reverse once they are given clothes and a name that matches their real gender., Every child is different—they experience gender differently, and their comfort level may be different.
Take into account your child's personality and background.
When in doubt, start educating. , Start with LGBT organizations and the written work of transgender people.
Find out when transgender people realized their identity, and what led up to the change.
Watch videos on the internet about transgender people.
Cisgender people may get the facts wrong.
Consider work written by cisgender people to be supplementary to your research, rather than making it the body of your research.
Some transgender children don't fit the gender binary.
They may feel like both male and female, or like they have no gender, or something else.If you suspect this is the case, pay special attention to the writings of nonbinary transgender people. , Plenty of transgender people have compiled resources (e.g. picture books) for transgender children.
Read picture books starring transgender kids, and show them videos of a child whose parents thought they were one gender but they actually were another.
Explain the difference between a boy who likes girly things and a "boy" who turned out to be a girl.
Make sure that your child knows you love them whether they are transgender or not! , Let your child live completely as their stated gender for a weekend, or for the duration of a vacation.
Let them use a different name, use their desired pronouns, and dress as they please.
Transgender children will typically bloom during this time, seeming all the more vivacious and happy.
After the period is over, ask them what they thought of it, and if they would like to live this way all the time. , It is critical that you make sure you find a psychologist or clinic specialized in gender dysphoria in children.
Some psychologists believe that transgender children are disordered; this can be very harmful and make them feel as if they are broken.
Specialists will help your child in finding out whether it's 'a phase'
'just a tomboy' or actually gender dysphoria.
This can reassure children that they will be able to live as their true gender.
Puberty blockers are extremely low-risk and temporary, and knowing that these are a possibility can give your child peace of mind.
Never place them in gender conversion therapy (which seeks to coerce them into acting like their designated sex).
This is what led to Leelah Alcorn's death. , Even if it's just a phase, parental support is crucial.You can be supportive by listening well when they discuss their gender, buying them the clothes and toys they ask for, and letting them lead the way regarding their gender presentation.
About the Author
Karen Mitchell
Experienced content creator specializing in creative arts guides and tutorials.
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