How to Determine if Your Child Is Being Molested
See if your child seems unusually secretive., Look for regression to younger behaviours., Pay attention to nightmares and other sleeping problems., Watch for inappropriate play behaviours., Notice personality changes., Watch your child's reaction to...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: See if your child seems unusually secretive.
If your child is usually open and exuberant, but she suddenly exhibits shy or secretive behaviour, this could be a sign that something is wrong.
In many cases, children feel shame, embarrassment or confusion about what's going on, and since they don't know how to express their feelings, they keep it to themselves.
Pay attention if your child seems quieter than usual.A child may become quiet for reasons other than the occurrence of molestation, such as being bullied, going through his or her parents' divorce, and other circumstances.
However, it should be viewed as a red flag that could point to molestation, especially if you notice other warning signs as well. -
Step 2: Look for regression to younger behaviours.
If your child suddenly begins acting younger than his or her age, be on high alert.
If you can rule out other factors that could cause this change, such as bullying or another form of stress, it might be a sign of molestation.
Here are a few examples of behaviours to watch for:
Bedwetting (after the age at which this normally occurs) Throwing tantrums and showing aggression for no apparent reason Clinging to you and crying when you have to depart after dropping the child off at school or daycare , Most children experience nightmares or have insomnia every once in a while, so a few nights of poor sleep are probably nothing to worry about.
However, if your child has regular nightmares, cries when you leave the room at night and is unable to fall asleep in his or her bedroom, this should be cause for alarm. , Sometimes children who are being molested act out the abuse on toys or other children.
You might see your child demonstrating a sexualized behaviour and have no idea where he or she could have learned it.
Watch the way your child plays with toys and other kids, and don't dismiss it if you notice something unusual.
For example, a child who is being molested might touch a doll or toy inappropriately, or exhibit this behavior toward another child.
A child might also use sexual words or phrases that he or she has never been taught.
It is normal for young children to touch their private parts, naturally they are curious about their body and wish to explore it.
But if they seem to be exhibiting adult behaviors while doing so, (e.g.,; masturbating, children don't touch their private parts for pleasure is a common misconception- depending on their age, they may very well find that touching their genitals is pleasurable and continue to do it) then that is cause for alarm. , If your child is normally happy and talkative, and he or she begins to act shy and withdrawn, this might be a sign that some form of abuse is occurring.
A shy child might start acting out and demonstrating behaviour that is out of character.
Pay careful attention to mood swings that don't seem to stem from a logical cause. , Does your child exhibit fear or signs of discomfort when he or she is around certain people or places? If your child runs and hides, falls silent or begins to cry around a certain person, that could be a warning sign.
Some children are naturally shy, but you should be able to tell the difference between shyness and out-of-the-ordinary fear in your child's reaction to someone.
See if your child demonstrates a peculiar aversion to a certain place, like school, piano lessons, a relative's house, and so on. , Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare because perpetrators often don't want to leave a trace.
However, it's important to know the physical signs of abuse so that you can recognise them right away if you see them.
Here are physical signs that a child is being abused:
Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharge in the mouth, genitals or anus Pain during urination and bowel movements Bruising around the genital area. , For example, normal sexual behaviour of children 0-5 years of age includes:using childish language to talk about body parts showing curiosity about how babies are made touching or rubbing their own genitals having curiosity about their own genitals -
Step 3: Pay attention to nightmares and other sleeping problems.
-
Step 4: Watch for inappropriate play behaviours.
-
Step 5: Notice personality changes.
-
Step 6: Watch your child's reaction to people and places.
-
Step 7: Look for physical signs.
-
Step 8: Understand normal vs abnormal sexual behaviour.
Detailed Guide
If your child is usually open and exuberant, but she suddenly exhibits shy or secretive behaviour, this could be a sign that something is wrong.
In many cases, children feel shame, embarrassment or confusion about what's going on, and since they don't know how to express their feelings, they keep it to themselves.
Pay attention if your child seems quieter than usual.A child may become quiet for reasons other than the occurrence of molestation, such as being bullied, going through his or her parents' divorce, and other circumstances.
However, it should be viewed as a red flag that could point to molestation, especially if you notice other warning signs as well.
If your child suddenly begins acting younger than his or her age, be on high alert.
If you can rule out other factors that could cause this change, such as bullying or another form of stress, it might be a sign of molestation.
Here are a few examples of behaviours to watch for:
Bedwetting (after the age at which this normally occurs) Throwing tantrums and showing aggression for no apparent reason Clinging to you and crying when you have to depart after dropping the child off at school or daycare , Most children experience nightmares or have insomnia every once in a while, so a few nights of poor sleep are probably nothing to worry about.
However, if your child has regular nightmares, cries when you leave the room at night and is unable to fall asleep in his or her bedroom, this should be cause for alarm. , Sometimes children who are being molested act out the abuse on toys or other children.
You might see your child demonstrating a sexualized behaviour and have no idea where he or she could have learned it.
Watch the way your child plays with toys and other kids, and don't dismiss it if you notice something unusual.
For example, a child who is being molested might touch a doll or toy inappropriately, or exhibit this behavior toward another child.
A child might also use sexual words or phrases that he or she has never been taught.
It is normal for young children to touch their private parts, naturally they are curious about their body and wish to explore it.
But if they seem to be exhibiting adult behaviors while doing so, (e.g.,; masturbating, children don't touch their private parts for pleasure is a common misconception- depending on their age, they may very well find that touching their genitals is pleasurable and continue to do it) then that is cause for alarm. , If your child is normally happy and talkative, and he or she begins to act shy and withdrawn, this might be a sign that some form of abuse is occurring.
A shy child might start acting out and demonstrating behaviour that is out of character.
Pay careful attention to mood swings that don't seem to stem from a logical cause. , Does your child exhibit fear or signs of discomfort when he or she is around certain people or places? If your child runs and hides, falls silent or begins to cry around a certain person, that could be a warning sign.
Some children are naturally shy, but you should be able to tell the difference between shyness and out-of-the-ordinary fear in your child's reaction to someone.
See if your child demonstrates a peculiar aversion to a certain place, like school, piano lessons, a relative's house, and so on. , Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare because perpetrators often don't want to leave a trace.
However, it's important to know the physical signs of abuse so that you can recognise them right away if you see them.
Here are physical signs that a child is being abused:
Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharge in the mouth, genitals or anus Pain during urination and bowel movements Bruising around the genital area. , For example, normal sexual behaviour of children 0-5 years of age includes:using childish language to talk about body parts showing curiosity about how babies are made touching or rubbing their own genitals having curiosity about their own genitals
About the Author
Jean Hart
Writer and educator with a focus on practical practical skills knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: