How to Disagree with Your Parents As an Adult

Accept that you and your parents may have different opinions., Avoid trying to prove your point., Let go of past grudges from childhood., Don't let them negatively impact your work or relationships.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Accept that you and your parents may have different opinions.

    When you’re interacting with your parents, remember that they may have different ways of thinking about work, money, family, and life.

    They may also have different political, social, and religious views than you.

    Focus more on acceptance and tolerance than on arguments.You can’t control how others act, but you can control how you act.

    Accepting differences, even if they’re things you don’t agree with, lead to fewer arguments and more open communication.
  2. Step 2: Avoid trying to prove your point.

    While you may feel like you’re right or have the correct facts, sometimes pushing your thoughts on others can make them feel judged or upset.

    Open and effective communication doesn’t mean proving who’s right and who’s wrong.

    Arguments with your parents shouldn’t be battles of power when you’re an adult.

    Talk about the facts or your views without accusing them.

    This way, you’re able to disagree without assigning blame or judgment.

    For example, say, “I know that we may not see eye to eye about my work, but I see the value in what I do and am happy with the work I’ve chosen.” Try asking your parents about their perspectives as well.

    This way you can gain more insight about why they hold the positions that they do and it will not seem like you are being disrespectful.

    Say something like, “What is your perspective in this situation?” or “How do you see things?” , You may feel resentful or upset about the way you were raised by your parents.

    This may come out in different ways as an adult.

    You may find yourself getting into arguments more often with your parents, or try to avoid them altogether.Understand that your parents may not be able or ready to address past grudges from childhood.

    Seek support from other friends and family when you’re feeling upset with your parents.

    Avoid isolating yourself.

    If these grudges are getting in the way of having interactions with your parents, consider professional help through a counselor or support group.

    This way, you can better handle your interactions with your family in the present. , Your parents may have certain views about what you should be doing with your life, and who you should be dating.

    Avoid letting your frustration over arguments with them spill over into your relationship with your partner or spouse, or cause you to get upset with your co-workers.

    Separate your parents from your day-to-day work and social life.

    See your relationship or your work as a positive outlet away from your parents.

    If you feel that your disagreements are affecting your relationship with your significant other for example, talk with your significant other openly about the struggles you are facing with your parents.

    Or, find other supportive friends to help provide reassurance.
  3. Step 3: Let go of past grudges from childhood.

  4. Step 4: Don't let them negatively impact your work or relationships.

Detailed Guide

When you’re interacting with your parents, remember that they may have different ways of thinking about work, money, family, and life.

They may also have different political, social, and religious views than you.

Focus more on acceptance and tolerance than on arguments.You can’t control how others act, but you can control how you act.

Accepting differences, even if they’re things you don’t agree with, lead to fewer arguments and more open communication.

While you may feel like you’re right or have the correct facts, sometimes pushing your thoughts on others can make them feel judged or upset.

Open and effective communication doesn’t mean proving who’s right and who’s wrong.

Arguments with your parents shouldn’t be battles of power when you’re an adult.

Talk about the facts or your views without accusing them.

This way, you’re able to disagree without assigning blame or judgment.

For example, say, “I know that we may not see eye to eye about my work, but I see the value in what I do and am happy with the work I’ve chosen.” Try asking your parents about their perspectives as well.

This way you can gain more insight about why they hold the positions that they do and it will not seem like you are being disrespectful.

Say something like, “What is your perspective in this situation?” or “How do you see things?” , You may feel resentful or upset about the way you were raised by your parents.

This may come out in different ways as an adult.

You may find yourself getting into arguments more often with your parents, or try to avoid them altogether.Understand that your parents may not be able or ready to address past grudges from childhood.

Seek support from other friends and family when you’re feeling upset with your parents.

Avoid isolating yourself.

If these grudges are getting in the way of having interactions with your parents, consider professional help through a counselor or support group.

This way, you can better handle your interactions with your family in the present. , Your parents may have certain views about what you should be doing with your life, and who you should be dating.

Avoid letting your frustration over arguments with them spill over into your relationship with your partner or spouse, or cause you to get upset with your co-workers.

Separate your parents from your day-to-day work and social life.

See your relationship or your work as a positive outlet away from your parents.

If you feel that your disagreements are affecting your relationship with your significant other for example, talk with your significant other openly about the struggles you are facing with your parents.

Or, find other supportive friends to help provide reassurance.

About the Author

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Patricia Murray

Creates helpful guides on cooking to inspire and educate readers.

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