How to Fake Sick to the School Nurse
Play the guessing game., Plan in advance., Mention feeling bad that morning or the night before to your parents., Avoid suggesting they call your parents., Fall asleep or at least fake it when you lay down., When she "wakes" you up, tell her you...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Play the guessing game.
Never tell her what you think you have ie. flu, cold, migraine, etc.
Just tell her your symptoms (i.e. stomach ache, head ache, itchy throat, achy, nauseated, etc.). -
Step 2: Plan in advance.
If you have a test you are trying to avoid, go to the nurse hours before.
They will always ask what you have right now and if anything important is going on. , They won't be shocked when the nurse calls your house.
Just mention it casually.
Ask if there are any cough drops at the house or where the box of Kleenex is.
Don't overdo it with the parents.
If they don't let you stay home sick don't try it with the nurse or it could end badly too.
Keep the symptoms you told your parents similar to what you tell the nurse.
You may want to escalate the severity a bit.
For example: tell your parents you have a little sore throat or cough a bit, and ask for cough drops.
Then tell the nurse you have a sore throat, headache, and feel gross or ache all over. , NEVER ask the nurse, have her suggest it to you.
This is a tragic mistake many people make.
If you overextend yourself she'll send you right back to class.
Instead, ALWAYS ask to "lie down"
just to "close your eyes" or to see if your mother can bring you some Tylenol or Advil.
This is more believable.
She'll probably allow you to do that for a period.
In elementary school, about 2 hours , This makes the sickness more believable.
Cover your face with the pillow or a rag.Try not to do something funny some nurses check to see if your asleep.Some people panic and try to fake snore, but, all you have to do is keep your eyes close, mouth open a little if your head is tilted let a little sniff or cough out to convince the nurse that you're not faking (but you are;-)). , However, you can't ask to go home.
You have to get her to make the very first move. , She'll ask if you want to call your mom.
You are almost there, however, if you jump up and accept she'll be a little wary.
Say something like "I don't know, I don't want to miss school," or "I think I should get the homework first."
, You're more believable when you aren't trying to fake vomiting or other serious syndromes.
Leave your fake vomit recipes for Halloween parties.
Not everyone throws up when they're sick and it's too easy to spot a fake.
Vomit has a bile smell so even if it looks like vomit it won't smell like it. , School nurses have seen most of the tricks before so you're better off not bothering with tricks (vomit, fake fevers, etc.) and just saying you feel bad.
They become suspicious when someone says "vomiting" because that's the first trick some people try when they want to go home.
If the nurse takes your temperature, let her put it in your mouth, and once she leaves or looks away, take it out and wave it in the air.
Especially if it is the chemical type (i.e. a small plastic tab that has dots on the end that change colors like green, blue, and red) Then put it back and say "I feel sleepy" because low body temperature makes you feel VERY drowsy... , The fewer and more normal the symptoms the more likely they'll believe you. , Close your eyes and clear your throat often (if complaining of sore throat) all the way home. , Stay there until your parents leave to go back to work. , The nurse won't let you stay if they think you are contagious.
You can do this by putting a bit of blush around your eyes to redden them but avoid glittery ones at all costs. , If the nurse asks you if anyone saw it say one of your friends did (name the friend don't say she/he's your friend!) and tell your friend in advance to play along if the nurse asks.
EVERY public school sends a child home if they threw up. , Try blinking your eyes a couple times, and when you do, keep them closed for longer than a regular blink. (A couple seconds will work.) If the teacher asks you if you feel okay, you could say you're really tired and that the lights hurt your eyes.
Sometimes that happens.
Be believable.
Often if students feel sick or dizzy, they don't mention it to the teacher because they think it will go away. -
Step 3: Mention feeling bad that morning or the night before to your parents.
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Step 4: Avoid suggesting they call your parents.
-
Step 5: Fall asleep or at least fake it when you lay down.
-
Step 6: When she "wakes" you up
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Step 7: tell her you still feel really sick.
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Step 8: Don't be too eager.
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Step 9: Slip in the
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Step 10: "Maybe you're right
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Step 11: I just can't concentrate."
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Step 12: Keep it simple!
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Step 13: Give them credit!
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Step 14: Be more believable and instead of feigning vomiting
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Step 15: just say you started feeling bad.
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Step 16: Act sick until your mother or father picks you up.
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Step 17: Go straight to bed when you get home.
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Step 18: You could also make your eyes really red and say you think you have pink eye
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Step 19: or an eye infection.
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Step 20: One sure way is to say you threw up in a bathroom.
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Step 21: Before hand
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Step 22: you could say you feel really dizzy
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Step 23: and in class
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Step 24: take slow breaths.
Detailed Guide
Never tell her what you think you have ie. flu, cold, migraine, etc.
Just tell her your symptoms (i.e. stomach ache, head ache, itchy throat, achy, nauseated, etc.).
If you have a test you are trying to avoid, go to the nurse hours before.
They will always ask what you have right now and if anything important is going on. , They won't be shocked when the nurse calls your house.
Just mention it casually.
Ask if there are any cough drops at the house or where the box of Kleenex is.
Don't overdo it with the parents.
If they don't let you stay home sick don't try it with the nurse or it could end badly too.
Keep the symptoms you told your parents similar to what you tell the nurse.
You may want to escalate the severity a bit.
For example: tell your parents you have a little sore throat or cough a bit, and ask for cough drops.
Then tell the nurse you have a sore throat, headache, and feel gross or ache all over. , NEVER ask the nurse, have her suggest it to you.
This is a tragic mistake many people make.
If you overextend yourself she'll send you right back to class.
Instead, ALWAYS ask to "lie down"
just to "close your eyes" or to see if your mother can bring you some Tylenol or Advil.
This is more believable.
She'll probably allow you to do that for a period.
In elementary school, about 2 hours , This makes the sickness more believable.
Cover your face with the pillow or a rag.Try not to do something funny some nurses check to see if your asleep.Some people panic and try to fake snore, but, all you have to do is keep your eyes close, mouth open a little if your head is tilted let a little sniff or cough out to convince the nurse that you're not faking (but you are;-)). , However, you can't ask to go home.
You have to get her to make the very first move. , She'll ask if you want to call your mom.
You are almost there, however, if you jump up and accept she'll be a little wary.
Say something like "I don't know, I don't want to miss school," or "I think I should get the homework first."
, You're more believable when you aren't trying to fake vomiting or other serious syndromes.
Leave your fake vomit recipes for Halloween parties.
Not everyone throws up when they're sick and it's too easy to spot a fake.
Vomit has a bile smell so even if it looks like vomit it won't smell like it. , School nurses have seen most of the tricks before so you're better off not bothering with tricks (vomit, fake fevers, etc.) and just saying you feel bad.
They become suspicious when someone says "vomiting" because that's the first trick some people try when they want to go home.
If the nurse takes your temperature, let her put it in your mouth, and once she leaves or looks away, take it out and wave it in the air.
Especially if it is the chemical type (i.e. a small plastic tab that has dots on the end that change colors like green, blue, and red) Then put it back and say "I feel sleepy" because low body temperature makes you feel VERY drowsy... , The fewer and more normal the symptoms the more likely they'll believe you. , Close your eyes and clear your throat often (if complaining of sore throat) all the way home. , Stay there until your parents leave to go back to work. , The nurse won't let you stay if they think you are contagious.
You can do this by putting a bit of blush around your eyes to redden them but avoid glittery ones at all costs. , If the nurse asks you if anyone saw it say one of your friends did (name the friend don't say she/he's your friend!) and tell your friend in advance to play along if the nurse asks.
EVERY public school sends a child home if they threw up. , Try blinking your eyes a couple times, and when you do, keep them closed for longer than a regular blink. (A couple seconds will work.) If the teacher asks you if you feel okay, you could say you're really tired and that the lights hurt your eyes.
Sometimes that happens.
Be believable.
Often if students feel sick or dizzy, they don't mention it to the teacher because they think it will go away.
About the Author
Tyler Green
Experienced content creator specializing in practical skills guides and tutorials.
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