How to Fit In at School
Prepare some conversation starters., Practice a conversation before it happens., Put yourself out there., Start with the people in your class., Be approachable., Pick up on social cues., Listen to other people., Resolve conflicts.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Prepare some conversation starters.
Starting a conversation with someone that you do not know is difficult.
Prepare yourself by thinking of some conversation starters.
Some easy ways to start a conversation are to introduce yourself, give a compliment, or ask a question.
Knowing what you are going to say already will stop you from being as nervous or freezing up.
Introduce yourself by saying something like, "Hi, my name is John.
You're in my class/your locker is next to mine..." You can also compliment someone's clothing, hair, or anything else that you notice about them.
Ask someone in your class about an assignment or about taking notes.
Even if you already know what the assignment is, it's still ok to ask just to get the conversation started.
If you are not ready to have a full on conversation with someone, simply smile and say hello.
Try smiling and saying hello to one new person each day.
Then you can build up to asking a question or giving a compliment.If you are joining a conversation that has already started, listen to understand what the conversation is about.
When no one else is talking, make a short comment that relates to the ongoing conversation. -
Step 2: Practice a conversation before it happens.
Try writing down what you plan to say or saying it out loud in front of the mirror.
You can also practice with another person in your family.
The conversation you actually have does not have to go exactly as you planned it, but it is still good to practice and build your confidence.If you try something out and it does not work as you planned, try a different approach next time.
Don't beat yourself up because things don't go as planned; no one is perfect. , You are not the only the person that is trying to fit in at school.
Sometimes you have to be a little assertive to get the process started.Try talking to a person that is alone.
It's less intimidating to talk to one person instead of a group of people.
A person that's alone may also be in the same situation you are in.
If you see someone is sitting alone, observe the person for a second.
Are they reading a book? Do you like their outfit, shoes, or hair? You can then introduce yourself and comment on something you observed about them.
You may say, "Hi, how is the book you're reading?" or "Hey, I really like your shirt.
My name is..."
Having a class with someone is a quick way to establish common ground.You will be more comfortable talking to someone that you are sitting next to than going up to a random person in the cafeteria.
Simply introduce yourself to the people that you sit next to.
If you cannot think of anything to talk about, you can always talk about the class you all have together. , You don't always have to start the conversation.
Other people may want to talk to you if you look approachable.
Smile at people as they walk by.
Don't walk around with headphones or with your arms crossed.Be the type of person that you wouldn't mind going up to yourself. , You can learn a lot by observing the body language, facial expressions of others, and voice tone.
People often speak without saying anything.
Understanding what people are saying can help you identify if someone is in a good or bad mood, if someone is annoyed or upset, or is someone is happy.
This will help you respond in an appropriate way.
Raised eyebrows can signal that someone is surprised or questioning something.A smile indicates that someone is happy.
While a frown shows that someone is upset.
Slumped shoulders show that someone is tired.
If someone has crossed arms and a mean look on their face, it would not be a good time to approach and start a conversation.
Foot tapping and fidgeting indicates that the person may be nervous or irritated.
Fast talking shows that someone is excited or trying to get an important point across., Listening is an important communication skill that can help you at school.
Always look at the other person when he or she is speaking to you and wait until the person is finished speaking before you say something.
While the other person is talking, try not to fidget, look around, laugh, or do anything that shows you are not paying attention.
You can nod while the other person is talking to show that you understand what is being said.
You can also say "ok," or "I understand" to show that you are listening as well. , Having the ability to resolve conflicts will help you be accepted by your peers and make friends.If you are involved in a conflict, try to be a leader and help get everything sorted out.
Suggest to everyone involved that all of you should work together and be peaceful (e.g. no name calling, blaming, or yelling).
Then let everyone tell their perspective on the issue.
Once all perspectives are on the table, find the common thread in everyone's perspective.
Lastly, brainstorm about ways to resolve the conflict and come to an agreement.
Respect other people's feelings and ideas during the conflict.
Conflict happens in all types of relationships and is completely normal. -
Step 3: Put yourself out there.
-
Step 4: Start with the people in your class.
-
Step 5: Be approachable.
-
Step 6: Pick up on social cues.
-
Step 7: Listen to other people.
-
Step 8: Resolve conflicts.
Detailed Guide
Starting a conversation with someone that you do not know is difficult.
Prepare yourself by thinking of some conversation starters.
Some easy ways to start a conversation are to introduce yourself, give a compliment, or ask a question.
Knowing what you are going to say already will stop you from being as nervous or freezing up.
Introduce yourself by saying something like, "Hi, my name is John.
You're in my class/your locker is next to mine..." You can also compliment someone's clothing, hair, or anything else that you notice about them.
Ask someone in your class about an assignment or about taking notes.
Even if you already know what the assignment is, it's still ok to ask just to get the conversation started.
If you are not ready to have a full on conversation with someone, simply smile and say hello.
Try smiling and saying hello to one new person each day.
Then you can build up to asking a question or giving a compliment.If you are joining a conversation that has already started, listen to understand what the conversation is about.
When no one else is talking, make a short comment that relates to the ongoing conversation.
Try writing down what you plan to say or saying it out loud in front of the mirror.
You can also practice with another person in your family.
The conversation you actually have does not have to go exactly as you planned it, but it is still good to practice and build your confidence.If you try something out and it does not work as you planned, try a different approach next time.
Don't beat yourself up because things don't go as planned; no one is perfect. , You are not the only the person that is trying to fit in at school.
Sometimes you have to be a little assertive to get the process started.Try talking to a person that is alone.
It's less intimidating to talk to one person instead of a group of people.
A person that's alone may also be in the same situation you are in.
If you see someone is sitting alone, observe the person for a second.
Are they reading a book? Do you like their outfit, shoes, or hair? You can then introduce yourself and comment on something you observed about them.
You may say, "Hi, how is the book you're reading?" or "Hey, I really like your shirt.
My name is..."
Having a class with someone is a quick way to establish common ground.You will be more comfortable talking to someone that you are sitting next to than going up to a random person in the cafeteria.
Simply introduce yourself to the people that you sit next to.
If you cannot think of anything to talk about, you can always talk about the class you all have together. , You don't always have to start the conversation.
Other people may want to talk to you if you look approachable.
Smile at people as they walk by.
Don't walk around with headphones or with your arms crossed.Be the type of person that you wouldn't mind going up to yourself. , You can learn a lot by observing the body language, facial expressions of others, and voice tone.
People often speak without saying anything.
Understanding what people are saying can help you identify if someone is in a good or bad mood, if someone is annoyed or upset, or is someone is happy.
This will help you respond in an appropriate way.
Raised eyebrows can signal that someone is surprised or questioning something.A smile indicates that someone is happy.
While a frown shows that someone is upset.
Slumped shoulders show that someone is tired.
If someone has crossed arms and a mean look on their face, it would not be a good time to approach and start a conversation.
Foot tapping and fidgeting indicates that the person may be nervous or irritated.
Fast talking shows that someone is excited or trying to get an important point across., Listening is an important communication skill that can help you at school.
Always look at the other person when he or she is speaking to you and wait until the person is finished speaking before you say something.
While the other person is talking, try not to fidget, look around, laugh, or do anything that shows you are not paying attention.
You can nod while the other person is talking to show that you understand what is being said.
You can also say "ok," or "I understand" to show that you are listening as well. , Having the ability to resolve conflicts will help you be accepted by your peers and make friends.If you are involved in a conflict, try to be a leader and help get everything sorted out.
Suggest to everyone involved that all of you should work together and be peaceful (e.g. no name calling, blaming, or yelling).
Then let everyone tell their perspective on the issue.
Once all perspectives are on the table, find the common thread in everyone's perspective.
Lastly, brainstorm about ways to resolve the conflict and come to an agreement.
Respect other people's feelings and ideas during the conflict.
Conflict happens in all types of relationships and is completely normal.
About the Author
Sara Peterson
Specializes in breaking down complex creative arts topics into simple steps.
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