How to Forgive a Mother After She Has Passed
Write down in detail exactly what it is that you resent about your mother., Write out in detail how it made you feel when your mother did what you resent., Read what you have written to a picture of your mother., Change your footwear., Recall...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Write down in detail exactly what it is that you resent about your mother.
We have to name it to claim it.
We can't just keep saying "I resent my mother"
or "I hate my mother"
or "it's all my mother's fault".
We can't be vague, or speak in generalities.
Once you have named a specific type of behavior, or even one specific event of your mother's, we now have something to work with. -
Step 2: Write out in detail how it made you feel when your mother did what you resent.
Remember to include how old you were, or if it is a repeated behavior, how old you were when it first started.
Be very clear and truthful.
Cry, or be angry if your emotions tell you to. , If you don't have one then you have her image in your mind and just imagine her in front of you. , By this, it means to put yourself in your mother's shoes.
At least in your brain.
Usually, we know at least some of our mother's history growing up and during her adulthood before you were born.
Remember all you can and in each of the different scenes that you recall, imagine how she felt and how and why she responded as she did in those moments.
What kind of belief systems do you think she was taught by others and her personal experiences in her life? What were her parents like? , We tend to forget that our parents were raised during a time when they did not have the knowledge or the items that are so easily available to us today. , What do you think was going through her mind or her emotions? , As you draw closer to these children you recognize one.
She is your mother and she is also five years old.
She reaches out and takes your hand and draws you into the group of children to play with them too. , She was just a fallible human being just as you are.
She had no manual on how to raise children, she simply did the best she knew how at the time.
She was not perfect, none of us are. , -
Step 3: Read what you have written to a picture of your mother.
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Step 4: Change your footwear.
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Step 5: Recall especially that she lived a generation before you.
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Step 6: Stand or sit where your mother did during the episode or one of the episodes she hurt you and look at yourself as she did.
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Step 7: Visualize yourself as a six year old child walking through a meadow and hearing other young children laughing and playing.
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Step 8: Feel what it is like to realize that your mother was once a young child just as you were
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Step 9: a teenager just as you were
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Step 10: suffered the heartache and the joys of life just as you have.
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Step 11: Write a letter to your mother.
Detailed Guide
We have to name it to claim it.
We can't just keep saying "I resent my mother"
or "I hate my mother"
or "it's all my mother's fault".
We can't be vague, or speak in generalities.
Once you have named a specific type of behavior, or even one specific event of your mother's, we now have something to work with.
Remember to include how old you were, or if it is a repeated behavior, how old you were when it first started.
Be very clear and truthful.
Cry, or be angry if your emotions tell you to. , If you don't have one then you have her image in your mind and just imagine her in front of you. , By this, it means to put yourself in your mother's shoes.
At least in your brain.
Usually, we know at least some of our mother's history growing up and during her adulthood before you were born.
Remember all you can and in each of the different scenes that you recall, imagine how she felt and how and why she responded as she did in those moments.
What kind of belief systems do you think she was taught by others and her personal experiences in her life? What were her parents like? , We tend to forget that our parents were raised during a time when they did not have the knowledge or the items that are so easily available to us today. , What do you think was going through her mind or her emotions? , As you draw closer to these children you recognize one.
She is your mother and she is also five years old.
She reaches out and takes your hand and draws you into the group of children to play with them too. , She was just a fallible human being just as you are.
She had no manual on how to raise children, she simply did the best she knew how at the time.
She was not perfect, none of us are. ,
About the Author
Nancy Hart
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
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