How to Get Your Mom to Forgive You After You Do Something Stupid
Apologize in person., Be sincere., Tell the truth., Don't try to talk to her in the heat of the moment., Choose a good time., Don't wait too long., Listen to what she says., Don't pull other incidents into the topic at hand., Don't use excuses about...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Apologize in person.
No matter what, don't try to apologize by text or email.
Talking to someone in an emotionally charged situation is difficult, but owning up to what you did will help her to see you are sincere. -
Step 2: Be sincere.
Use a respectful tone, and say your apology in a clear voice.
Mumbling implies that you aren't owning up to what you did.
If you don't know how to begin, say something like the following statement: "I am truly sorry that I upset you.
I know I shouldn't get into fights with George.
I let my temper get the best of me, but I really want to do better.
I hope you can forgive me."
Sometimes, you'll want to lie but don't, but you'll only be caught further if you do it again..
You'll be in even worse trouble then, and you'll have a harder time getting your mother to forgive you. , Let her cool down a little bit.
Approach her later when she's had a chance to think.
Most importantly do not argue, it only makes things worse. , Don't try to apologize while she is distracted by something else, like cooking dinner.
Catch her in a quiet moment, and ask if you can talk to her for a minute.Understand if she doesn't want to listen to you.
She may not be ready to hear what you have to say.
Wait awhile, and ask again. , That is, you have to own up to what you did in a timely manner.
If you wait too long, your mother will think that you don't feel ashamed for what you did. , Truly listen, and try to take in why she thinks you did wrong.
The only way you can apologize for what you did is to understand why she's mad.
Therefore, put yourself in her shoes.
She's trying to help you grow as a person, so try to see it her way., Don't bring up what your sibling did or what's happened in the past.
You'll only remind her of other bad incidents and make her angrier.For instance, don't say, "But Tracy stayed out last week and didn't get punished! Why are you mad at me and not her?" Bringing up the past incident will only stir up more feelings.
Instead, say something like, "I know you're angry, and I really shouldn't have stayed out late.
I'm truly sorry."
Excuses undermine the apology because they make it look like you are passing the blame to someone or something else.
You need to accept that you did something wrong if you want your mother to forgive you.
For example, instead of saying, "I didn't stay out that late, and besides, it was only because I was trying to drop off my friend." say something like "I know I stayed out too late, and I'm sorry.
I'll try to manage my time better next time by leaving the party earlier."
An apology goes a long way but attempting to fix the situation is even better.For example, if you broke something, try to fix it or replace it.
If you yelled at your sister, be extra nice to her, and show her you care. , This step may seem contrary to "Apologize in person," but you should apologize in writing in addition to apologizing in person.
Also, you shouldn't use email or text for this apology.
Write your mother a handwritten letter about your mistake and how you can do better in the future.
A handwritten note takes some thought and time, and your mom will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
If you are a good artist, you could also embellish your letter with a couple of small drawing you know she'll appreciate.
You could write something like the following: "Dear Mom, I know you're upset that I got into a fight with Jane.
I know you want us to have the relationship that you never had with your sister, and I appreciate that.
I love Jane to bits, even though she drives me crazy sometimes.
I am the older one, and I should be more mature when she tries to annoy me on purpose.
I understand that relationships take work, and you're only trying to prepare me for the ones I have in the future, as well as help me to develop a strong, lasting relationship with Jane.
I'll try to keep the peace in the future; really, I will.
I love you bunches, and I hope you can forgive me.
Love, Joy."
Sometimes, your mom may forgive you quickly, but other times, it may take a while.
In fact, some psychologists say there are stages to forgiveness, just like there are to grief.
Your mom may go through denial, bargaining, anger, and depression before acceptance and forgiveness, though she may not go in order or even go through all those stages.
Regardless, remember you must work to earn her forgiveness and trust back., She's made mistakes, and she may even be angry at you longer than you deserve.
Sometimes moms are mad for other reasons.
It's not always just your fault.
Just like you may take out having a bad day on your sister, your mom may let her emotions get the better of her when she's had a bad day (or week!), too. -
Step 3: Tell the truth.
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Step 4: Don't try to talk to her in the heat of the moment.
-
Step 5: Choose a good time.
-
Step 6: Don't wait too long.
-
Step 7: Listen to what she says.
-
Step 8: Don't pull other incidents into the topic at hand.
-
Step 9: Don't use excuses about what you did.
-
Step 10: Try to fix the mistake.
-
Step 11: Apologize in writing.
-
Step 12: Understand that forgiveness takes time.
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Step 13: Know she's not perfect
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Step 14: either.
Detailed Guide
No matter what, don't try to apologize by text or email.
Talking to someone in an emotionally charged situation is difficult, but owning up to what you did will help her to see you are sincere.
Use a respectful tone, and say your apology in a clear voice.
Mumbling implies that you aren't owning up to what you did.
If you don't know how to begin, say something like the following statement: "I am truly sorry that I upset you.
I know I shouldn't get into fights with George.
I let my temper get the best of me, but I really want to do better.
I hope you can forgive me."
Sometimes, you'll want to lie but don't, but you'll only be caught further if you do it again..
You'll be in even worse trouble then, and you'll have a harder time getting your mother to forgive you. , Let her cool down a little bit.
Approach her later when she's had a chance to think.
Most importantly do not argue, it only makes things worse. , Don't try to apologize while she is distracted by something else, like cooking dinner.
Catch her in a quiet moment, and ask if you can talk to her for a minute.Understand if she doesn't want to listen to you.
She may not be ready to hear what you have to say.
Wait awhile, and ask again. , That is, you have to own up to what you did in a timely manner.
If you wait too long, your mother will think that you don't feel ashamed for what you did. , Truly listen, and try to take in why she thinks you did wrong.
The only way you can apologize for what you did is to understand why she's mad.
Therefore, put yourself in her shoes.
She's trying to help you grow as a person, so try to see it her way., Don't bring up what your sibling did or what's happened in the past.
You'll only remind her of other bad incidents and make her angrier.For instance, don't say, "But Tracy stayed out last week and didn't get punished! Why are you mad at me and not her?" Bringing up the past incident will only stir up more feelings.
Instead, say something like, "I know you're angry, and I really shouldn't have stayed out late.
I'm truly sorry."
Excuses undermine the apology because they make it look like you are passing the blame to someone or something else.
You need to accept that you did something wrong if you want your mother to forgive you.
For example, instead of saying, "I didn't stay out that late, and besides, it was only because I was trying to drop off my friend." say something like "I know I stayed out too late, and I'm sorry.
I'll try to manage my time better next time by leaving the party earlier."
An apology goes a long way but attempting to fix the situation is even better.For example, if you broke something, try to fix it or replace it.
If you yelled at your sister, be extra nice to her, and show her you care. , This step may seem contrary to "Apologize in person," but you should apologize in writing in addition to apologizing in person.
Also, you shouldn't use email or text for this apology.
Write your mother a handwritten letter about your mistake and how you can do better in the future.
A handwritten note takes some thought and time, and your mom will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
If you are a good artist, you could also embellish your letter with a couple of small drawing you know she'll appreciate.
You could write something like the following: "Dear Mom, I know you're upset that I got into a fight with Jane.
I know you want us to have the relationship that you never had with your sister, and I appreciate that.
I love Jane to bits, even though she drives me crazy sometimes.
I am the older one, and I should be more mature when she tries to annoy me on purpose.
I understand that relationships take work, and you're only trying to prepare me for the ones I have in the future, as well as help me to develop a strong, lasting relationship with Jane.
I'll try to keep the peace in the future; really, I will.
I love you bunches, and I hope you can forgive me.
Love, Joy."
Sometimes, your mom may forgive you quickly, but other times, it may take a while.
In fact, some psychologists say there are stages to forgiveness, just like there are to grief.
Your mom may go through denial, bargaining, anger, and depression before acceptance and forgiveness, though she may not go in order or even go through all those stages.
Regardless, remember you must work to earn her forgiveness and trust back., She's made mistakes, and she may even be angry at you longer than you deserve.
Sometimes moms are mad for other reasons.
It's not always just your fault.
Just like you may take out having a bad day on your sister, your mom may let her emotions get the better of her when she's had a bad day (or week!), too.
About the Author
Andrew Rogers
Creates helpful guides on organization to inspire and educate readers.
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