How to Get Your Parents to Stop Yelling at You for Swearing
Stay calm., Be brave, clear, and honest., "I really want the ability to choose how I express myself, and this is comfortable for me right now., Encourage better communication., Show mutual respect., Use “I” statements.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stay calm.
If you are speaking about a sensitive topic with your parents be calm and try not to raise your voice.
In emotionally charged conversations it can be easy to let emotions get the better of us.
If you start yelling, your parents are likely to start yelling, too.
Avoid using sarcasm, name-calling, interrupting, and especially swearing.
This is important to you, show that to your parents by taking the conversation seriously.
If you (or your parents) are struggling to stay calm, try these tips:
Take a deep breath, or several deep breaths.
Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Count to five or ten.
Counting can help reduce any intense feelings.
Remind yourself why you want to have the conversation in the first place and that anger may only result in yelling. -
Step 2: Be brave
It can be difficult to talk to parents about certain topics, especially if it is something they disagree with.
Remind yourself that you are standing up for something you want.
Speak clearly about what you want and how you feel, and be honest about why.
Stay on the topic of swearing, try not to let the discussion lead into any other arguments or problems between you and your parents.Here are some examples: "Mom, Dad, I'd like to talk with you about swearing.
Do you have time to talk now?"
I understand it is not comfortable for you, so what can we do about that?" "I would really like it if we could make an agreement or a compromise."
In addition to what you are doing to change the way you communicate, encourage your parents to communicate with you more effectively as well.
Chances are, they are as frustrated as you and would welcome some suggestions for changes.
A good start is to tell them how their yelling makes you feel and offer alternatives to yelling for them. "I feel frustrated and angry when I get yelled at for swearing, because..." "When you are yelling at me, It's like I'm getting in trouble for expressing how I feel." "It's difficult for me to not yell back when you yell at me.
It may be easier for me to be calmer if you are calmer." "Instead of yelling, would it be possible to calmly remind me of our agreement or ask me what is wrong?"
You want your parents to listen to you and respect your choice, without yelling, so you should be willing to do the same.
Really listen to what they are saying, it may help you understand where they are coming from as well as help you navigate towards getting what you want.
Also, as stressed as you might feel realize that your parents may be just as stressed as well.
Accept that both your experience and their experience are valid, and give each other a break.
Here are some ways you can show respect in addition to actively listening:
Make eye contact.
Be polite.
Say "please," don't roll your eyes, and try not to interrupt.
Show gratitude.
You can always say "Thank you for talking to me about this, I know it can't be easy for either of us." Ask questions for clarification.
If you are confused about something, ask "I don't understand, could you explain that a little more?" This will help avoid assumptions.
Respectfully disagree.
Instead of yelling "No, you're wrong!" try saying "I hear what you are saying.
From my point of view, though, it seems different because..."
Instead of saying “You curse all the time, why can't I?” Try wording it, “I feel like I should be able to curse around you if you can curse around me.
I feel like that is fair.” Using "I" statements instead of "you" statements keeps others from feeling like they are being blamed and helps you communicate how you are feeling. -
Step 3: and honest.
-
Step 4: "I really want the ability to choose how I express myself
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Step 5: and this is comfortable for me right now.
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Step 6: Encourage better communication.
-
Step 7: Show mutual respect.
-
Step 8: Use “I” statements.
Detailed Guide
If you are speaking about a sensitive topic with your parents be calm and try not to raise your voice.
In emotionally charged conversations it can be easy to let emotions get the better of us.
If you start yelling, your parents are likely to start yelling, too.
Avoid using sarcasm, name-calling, interrupting, and especially swearing.
This is important to you, show that to your parents by taking the conversation seriously.
If you (or your parents) are struggling to stay calm, try these tips:
Take a deep breath, or several deep breaths.
Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Count to five or ten.
Counting can help reduce any intense feelings.
Remind yourself why you want to have the conversation in the first place and that anger may only result in yelling.
It can be difficult to talk to parents about certain topics, especially if it is something they disagree with.
Remind yourself that you are standing up for something you want.
Speak clearly about what you want and how you feel, and be honest about why.
Stay on the topic of swearing, try not to let the discussion lead into any other arguments or problems between you and your parents.Here are some examples: "Mom, Dad, I'd like to talk with you about swearing.
Do you have time to talk now?"
I understand it is not comfortable for you, so what can we do about that?" "I would really like it if we could make an agreement or a compromise."
In addition to what you are doing to change the way you communicate, encourage your parents to communicate with you more effectively as well.
Chances are, they are as frustrated as you and would welcome some suggestions for changes.
A good start is to tell them how their yelling makes you feel and offer alternatives to yelling for them. "I feel frustrated and angry when I get yelled at for swearing, because..." "When you are yelling at me, It's like I'm getting in trouble for expressing how I feel." "It's difficult for me to not yell back when you yell at me.
It may be easier for me to be calmer if you are calmer." "Instead of yelling, would it be possible to calmly remind me of our agreement or ask me what is wrong?"
You want your parents to listen to you and respect your choice, without yelling, so you should be willing to do the same.
Really listen to what they are saying, it may help you understand where they are coming from as well as help you navigate towards getting what you want.
Also, as stressed as you might feel realize that your parents may be just as stressed as well.
Accept that both your experience and their experience are valid, and give each other a break.
Here are some ways you can show respect in addition to actively listening:
Make eye contact.
Be polite.
Say "please," don't roll your eyes, and try not to interrupt.
Show gratitude.
You can always say "Thank you for talking to me about this, I know it can't be easy for either of us." Ask questions for clarification.
If you are confused about something, ask "I don't understand, could you explain that a little more?" This will help avoid assumptions.
Respectfully disagree.
Instead of yelling "No, you're wrong!" try saying "I hear what you are saying.
From my point of view, though, it seems different because..."
Instead of saying “You curse all the time, why can't I?” Try wording it, “I feel like I should be able to curse around you if you can curse around me.
I feel like that is fair.” Using "I" statements instead of "you" statements keeps others from feeling like they are being blamed and helps you communicate how you are feeling.
About the Author
Paul White
Paul White has dedicated 1 years to mastering engineering and technical solutions. As a content creator, Paul focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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