How to Guide Your Tween Daughter As a Father

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Take a deep breath.

   Don't let her buy into how the media portray the ideal woman.
   
   Body image issues are huge for girls.
   
   Talk to her about it, and don't be critical of the changes in her body and the awkwardness that may result.
   
   Refrain from making comments about her weight or body.
   
   Be active with her.
   
   Make sure she is eating a balanced diet of food.
   
   Don't let the tragedy of sexual abuse in families stop you from showing her affection.
   
   If she doesn't get it from you, she'll get it somewhere else. , The changes in hormones make her feel things more intensely, so she may seem more emotionally immature.
   
   She is more sensitive to body language than boys, she's more relational, she notices things in more detail, she sees the big picture, she expresses her feelings more often, etc.
   
   She is, after all, a mini-woman, and the same things apply to her as they do to an adult woman.
   
   So, dad:
   Don't tease her excessively, and be sensitive to what you're teasing her about.
   
   Don't lecture her; listen to her and ask her questions.
   
   She wants your attention.
   
   Respect the differences between you and her and respect and validate her opinions.
   
   Keep clear limits and let her know the consequences if she crosses a line. , You are the one who reassures her that she is becoming beautiful.
   
   Make sure she knows that you care about her appearance.
   
   If you say nothing, that will send a message too.
   
   Help her to be balanced in her approach to her appearance.
   
   But, don't let her rely on charm to manipulate you. , In this process, she needs you to be there.
   
   Schedule regular times to be just with her.
   
   Don't just crash in front of the TV and forget everything else.
   
   Teach her things that will make her confident and independent.
   
   Avoid pushing her into activities she doesn't like.
   
   Give her lots of positive feedback. , Know what effect her relationships are having on her.
   
   Get acquainted with her friends.
   
   Talk to her about her friendships, especially if she comes to you with a problem.
   
   Be aware of bullying and the signs that she may be the object of it. , She may treat them with disdain one day and like them the next.
   
   Make sure she's not being pushed into something no 10 or 11 year old should be pushed into.
   
   Show an interest in where she's at with boys.
   
   Help her understand the male perspective.
   
   Show her how she should expect to be treated by a man.
   
   This is huge.
   
   How you treat your wife and other women will tell your daughter a lot.
   
   She's watching, by the way.
   
   You set the standard.
   
   Do you measure up? , This article only gives the basic bones of parenting a tween.
   
   Visit some parenting websites or read some books.
   
   Check out What Happened to My Little Girl, by Nancy Rue (Zondervan, 2011).
2. 2

   Step 2: As her body begins to change

3. 3

   Step 3: she may be scared or vulnerable to how society views the ideal woman.

4. 4

   Step 4: She is trying to figure out who she is and to become self-reliant.

5. 5

   Step 5: Don't tell her that she shouldn't put any emphasis on her physical appearance.

6. 6

   Step 6: These days

7. 7

   Step 7: children are pushed to grow up fast

8. 8

   Step 8: which can hinder the process of your tween trying on different selves as a way of finding out who she is.

9. 9

   Step 9: Her friends and relationships are very important to her.

10. 10

    Step 10: Boys will start being of interest to her.

Detailed Guide

About the Author