How to Help a Shy Child

Role play social situations with her., Become an active listeneractive listening., Help her practice social skill words., Model healthy social behavior when you are around her and others.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Role play social situations with her.

    Make a game out of learning social skills by sitting down with your child for a few minutes every day and role-playing social situations.

    Take the role of someone new and instruct your child on how to greet someone.

    This means making eye contact, smiling, and shaking someone’s hand.

    You can encourage your spouse and any siblings to participate in the game as well.

    The more individuals your child practices with, the more comfortable she will get with social skills.You can also encourage your child to make small talk with you as part of the game.

    This means practicing saying “Hello” and “How are you?” as well as responses like “I’m great, thanks” or “I’m doing well, thank you”.
  2. Step 2: Become an active listeneractive listening.

    Be attentive to what your child is saying.

    One of the reasons shy children tend to withhold from conversing is fear of being embarrassed or laughed at.

    When your child is talking about something, give him/her your full attention.

    Refrain from judging them or laughing at them.

    They need to feel understood and accepted and to know that others care about them.Encourage your child to start the conversation by asking your child an open-ended question, such as, “What did you do at school today?” She may then tell you about her math test, her chemistry lab, and the special lunch for Heritage Day.

    Listen as she speaks to you, nodding and maintaining eye contact with her.

    When she is done speaking, respond to her by saying, “What I hear you saying is...” and then summarize what she told you in your own words.

    Once you’re done speaking, ask her if you listened to her correctly.

    If she says yes, you can comment on her day and offer any advice.

    Then, switch roles and tell your child about your day.

    Let her sum up what you said in her own words and agree that she listened correctly.

    This will allow her to model her behavior after yours and get a sense of how active listening works. , Social skill words are terms that your child can use to enter social situations in a clear and straightforward way.

    Phrases like, “Can I play, too?” or “Mind if I join you?” allow your child to enter a conversation or a play date in a friendly way.

    Teach her to lean on these phrases so she can pull them out easily in real life situations.Other social skill terms like “Hello”, “Bye”, “Please”, and “Thank you”, are also useful terms for any social situations she may face. , Be an example for your child.

    This means being friendly and open around new people, greeting them, and making eye contact with them.Doing this will limit the possibility of her developing “stranger danger”, where she has a fear of strangers.

    While you should teach her to be cautious around new people, you should also show her that you can have a conversation and engage with strangers just like you would anyone else.
  3. Step 3: Help her practice social skill words.

  4. Step 4: Model healthy social behavior when you are around her and others.

Detailed Guide

Make a game out of learning social skills by sitting down with your child for a few minutes every day and role-playing social situations.

Take the role of someone new and instruct your child on how to greet someone.

This means making eye contact, smiling, and shaking someone’s hand.

You can encourage your spouse and any siblings to participate in the game as well.

The more individuals your child practices with, the more comfortable she will get with social skills.You can also encourage your child to make small talk with you as part of the game.

This means practicing saying “Hello” and “How are you?” as well as responses like “I’m great, thanks” or “I’m doing well, thank you”.

Be attentive to what your child is saying.

One of the reasons shy children tend to withhold from conversing is fear of being embarrassed or laughed at.

When your child is talking about something, give him/her your full attention.

Refrain from judging them or laughing at them.

They need to feel understood and accepted and to know that others care about them.Encourage your child to start the conversation by asking your child an open-ended question, such as, “What did you do at school today?” She may then tell you about her math test, her chemistry lab, and the special lunch for Heritage Day.

Listen as she speaks to you, nodding and maintaining eye contact with her.

When she is done speaking, respond to her by saying, “What I hear you saying is...” and then summarize what she told you in your own words.

Once you’re done speaking, ask her if you listened to her correctly.

If she says yes, you can comment on her day and offer any advice.

Then, switch roles and tell your child about your day.

Let her sum up what you said in her own words and agree that she listened correctly.

This will allow her to model her behavior after yours and get a sense of how active listening works. , Social skill words are terms that your child can use to enter social situations in a clear and straightforward way.

Phrases like, “Can I play, too?” or “Mind if I join you?” allow your child to enter a conversation or a play date in a friendly way.

Teach her to lean on these phrases so she can pull them out easily in real life situations.Other social skill terms like “Hello”, “Bye”, “Please”, and “Thank you”, are also useful terms for any social situations she may face. , Be an example for your child.

This means being friendly and open around new people, greeting them, and making eye contact with them.Doing this will limit the possibility of her developing “stranger danger”, where she has a fear of strangers.

While you should teach her to be cautious around new people, you should also show her that you can have a conversation and engage with strangers just like you would anyone else.

About the Author

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Shirley Wright

Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.

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