How to Help Disabled Children Deal with Bullies
Ask the child about their friendships., Learn the signs that a child is being bullied., Talk to the child regularly., Avoid well-meaning, but invalidating statements., Keep a diary of all incidents.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask the child about their friendships.
Disabled children often are excited when anyone shows interest in them or wants to be their friend.
This can make them a target for bullies who only want to use and exploit them.A disabled child is being bullied if a new friend conditions their friendship on the disabled child doing something they wouldn't ordinarily do.
Often this entails doing something for the bully's gain.
The disabled child may not realize that the person they think is their friend is really bullying them or taking advantage of them.
For example, suppose the disabled child happens to be extremely good at math.
One of the other children in the class tells the disabled child, "I'll be your friend if you'll do my math homework for me every day." Every day, the disabled child does their own homework as well as the other child's homework.
The new friend keeps adding new things the disabled child needs to do for them if they want to keep being friends, but does nothing for the disabled child in return.
This is a bullying relationship.
Ask the child questions such as:
What did you do at school today? Who did you play with? What games did you play? Did you enjoy those games? Would you rather have played with someone else? These and similar questions will draw out situations in which the child might have experienced bullying and not realized it. -
Step 2: Learn the signs that a child is being bullied.
When any child is being bullied, they typically will display signs of this mistreatment at home and elsewhere.
While a child being physically bullied may have cuts and bruises, the signs of verbal or social bullying aren't always so obvious.For example, if the child suddenly gets upset and refuses to do something or go somewhere that they previously loved, this may be because they are being bullied there.
If you are a parent or sibling of the disabled child, you may notice more subtle signs at home, such as sudden aggression, crying, or bed wetting.
While these things may happen for many reasons, they may be signs the child is being bullied.
Speak to the child if there are any sudden changes in their mood or behavior.
Even if the changes are not related to bullying, you'll still have a better idea of what's going on in the child's life. , If you want to help a disabled child deal with bullies, you need to know when the child is being bullied.
It can be difficult for any child, but especially a disabled child, to tell someone when they are being bullied.Develop a close, open relationship with the child so they will feel comfortable coming to you if there is something wrong.
Let them know that they can talk to you about anything, and that you won't judge them or get angry at them.
Keep in mind that the child will never come to you unless they trust you.
If the child is non-verbal, it can be more difficult to discern if the child is being bullied.
Encourage other forms of communication, such as drawing pictures of their day or acting things out with toys or dolls.
Focus on what the child does throughout the day, who they do those things with, and whether they enjoyed those things.
If they tell you they didn't enjoy something, find out why they didn't enjoy it, and why they did it despite the fact they didn't enjoy it.
Be alert to signs that someone is manipulating them or taking advantage of them. , Be aware that common platitudes, such as "Just ignore it.
They'll get tired of it and stop eventually," "This is just part of being a kid," or "This will make you stronger" can invalidate your child's experience and actually have a detrimental effect.
Instead of minimizing the bullying, you need to empower your child by helping them figure out a solution.
Tell, and show, your child that they will not be alone in handling the bully.
Assure them that you will be there every step of the way.
Show your child compassion, kindness, love, and support.
This will help them know that you are by their side. , When a disabled child tells you about incidents in which they are being bullied, immediately write down as many details as possible.
Keep a log and encourage them to tell you every time something happens.Date each entry in your log, and ask questions so you can include as many details as possible.
Record everything the child remembers, even if it seems irrelevant to you.
If the child is non-verbal, include any drawings or a description of the child's communications with you.
Every time your child describes a bullying incident, contact the school and provide a full report.
You can use a template letter (like the one here: http://www.pacer.org/publications/bullypdf/BP-19.pdf) to write a formal letter to the school.
Keep a copy of your letter, and make sure you contact the school after each and every incident.
If you need to take additional action later on, it will be helpful to have this record of events.
Memories can fade with time, so you want to make a record of the incident as soon as possible after it happens. -
Step 3: Talk to the child regularly.
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Step 4: Avoid well-meaning
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Step 5: but invalidating statements.
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Step 6: Keep a diary of all incidents.
Detailed Guide
Disabled children often are excited when anyone shows interest in them or wants to be their friend.
This can make them a target for bullies who only want to use and exploit them.A disabled child is being bullied if a new friend conditions their friendship on the disabled child doing something they wouldn't ordinarily do.
Often this entails doing something for the bully's gain.
The disabled child may not realize that the person they think is their friend is really bullying them or taking advantage of them.
For example, suppose the disabled child happens to be extremely good at math.
One of the other children in the class tells the disabled child, "I'll be your friend if you'll do my math homework for me every day." Every day, the disabled child does their own homework as well as the other child's homework.
The new friend keeps adding new things the disabled child needs to do for them if they want to keep being friends, but does nothing for the disabled child in return.
This is a bullying relationship.
Ask the child questions such as:
What did you do at school today? Who did you play with? What games did you play? Did you enjoy those games? Would you rather have played with someone else? These and similar questions will draw out situations in which the child might have experienced bullying and not realized it.
When any child is being bullied, they typically will display signs of this mistreatment at home and elsewhere.
While a child being physically bullied may have cuts and bruises, the signs of verbal or social bullying aren't always so obvious.For example, if the child suddenly gets upset and refuses to do something or go somewhere that they previously loved, this may be because they are being bullied there.
If you are a parent or sibling of the disabled child, you may notice more subtle signs at home, such as sudden aggression, crying, or bed wetting.
While these things may happen for many reasons, they may be signs the child is being bullied.
Speak to the child if there are any sudden changes in their mood or behavior.
Even if the changes are not related to bullying, you'll still have a better idea of what's going on in the child's life. , If you want to help a disabled child deal with bullies, you need to know when the child is being bullied.
It can be difficult for any child, but especially a disabled child, to tell someone when they are being bullied.Develop a close, open relationship with the child so they will feel comfortable coming to you if there is something wrong.
Let them know that they can talk to you about anything, and that you won't judge them or get angry at them.
Keep in mind that the child will never come to you unless they trust you.
If the child is non-verbal, it can be more difficult to discern if the child is being bullied.
Encourage other forms of communication, such as drawing pictures of their day or acting things out with toys or dolls.
Focus on what the child does throughout the day, who they do those things with, and whether they enjoyed those things.
If they tell you they didn't enjoy something, find out why they didn't enjoy it, and why they did it despite the fact they didn't enjoy it.
Be alert to signs that someone is manipulating them or taking advantage of them. , Be aware that common platitudes, such as "Just ignore it.
They'll get tired of it and stop eventually," "This is just part of being a kid," or "This will make you stronger" can invalidate your child's experience and actually have a detrimental effect.
Instead of minimizing the bullying, you need to empower your child by helping them figure out a solution.
Tell, and show, your child that they will not be alone in handling the bully.
Assure them that you will be there every step of the way.
Show your child compassion, kindness, love, and support.
This will help them know that you are by their side. , When a disabled child tells you about incidents in which they are being bullied, immediately write down as many details as possible.
Keep a log and encourage them to tell you every time something happens.Date each entry in your log, and ask questions so you can include as many details as possible.
Record everything the child remembers, even if it seems irrelevant to you.
If the child is non-verbal, include any drawings or a description of the child's communications with you.
Every time your child describes a bullying incident, contact the school and provide a full report.
You can use a template letter (like the one here: http://www.pacer.org/publications/bullypdf/BP-19.pdf) to write a formal letter to the school.
Keep a copy of your letter, and make sure you contact the school after each and every incident.
If you need to take additional action later on, it will be helpful to have this record of events.
Memories can fade with time, so you want to make a record of the incident as soon as possible after it happens.
About the Author
Ann Bennett
Ann Bennett is an experienced writer with over 4 years of expertise in lifestyle and practical guides. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Ann creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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