How to Help Your Children Remember Your Rules
Avoid distractions., Simplify your rules., Ask your child to repeat what you have said., Write rules down., Have family meetings., Follow through., Use positive reinforcement., Be consistent., Give verbal reminders., Practice., Follow your own...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Avoid distractions.
When explaining your rules to your child for the first or fifth time, make sure to set them up for successful retention.
Talk to them in a quiet space when you have plenty of time and everyone is calm.
Creating this space will help your child give full attention to what you are saying., Keep the rules short and simple.
The more fully your child understands the rules, the more likely they are to remember them.For example, instead of saying "You can only have friends over if I know their parents and if you've done your homework and I'm here when they come over," you could just say, "You need to ask me before inviting friends over." Similarly, younger children might understand "No screen time after dinner" more clearly than "limited screen time within 2 hours of bed."
Putting things into their own words will help children cement their understanding of the rule and remember it more easily.
This also helps you to check whether the child has fully understood what you are saying. , Make a list of rules and hang them where the whole family can see them.
This will make it very easy for everyone to remember and will prevent arguments about what the rules were.When setting limits on screen time, sit down with your kids and work out a schedule so that they can each have an hour to use the computer, for example.
Have them write up the schedule and post it on the computer as a reminder and a way to prevent arguments about who gets to use the computer and when.
For younger kids, post steps to getting ready for bed in the bathroom, for example.
Include things like brushing teeth, combing hair, and wiping down the counters.
Add stickers for a little fun. , Especially as your child gets older they will want to be treated more as an adult.
If your older child needs to be reminded of their chores, for example, have a meeting during which you talk about every family member’s responsibilities for the week.
This will keep your child from feeling singled out.
Instead, they will feel like a part of the process.Think about having snacks during the meeting.
Adding a special treat like popcorn or sodas can make the meeting more social and fun. , When your child breaks a rule, stay calm and, as soon as you can, enforce the consequences that you have agreed upon.
The child will understand that breaking rules will always have negative consequences and will be less likely to break rules in the future.If your older child breaks curfew, for example, revoke driving privileges immediately rather than forbidding them from going to prom in three weeks.
If a small child hits their sibling, for example, give them an immediate time out rather than forbidding dessert later in the day.
Reacting immediately will more firmly remind children of all ages what your rules are and what the consequences of breaking them will be. , Keep your eye out for times your child is following your rules and behaving nicely.
Praise the child when they do something right.
Giving positive feedback will motivate the child to repeat good behaviors., Reliably enforcing consequences for bad behavior and praise for good behavior will, over time, encourage better behavior in your child., As you enforce consequences for undesired behavior, remind them why you are doing so.
For example, if your toddler has thrown blocks, say to them “I’m taking these blocks away because we made a rule against throwing them.” This will help the child understand why they are facing these consequences and help more firmly plant the rule in their memory., Rehearse with your child the behavior you would like to see.
For example, if they run next to a pool.
Have them return to their starting point and practice walking slowly next to the pool., For example, if you’ve set a rule that your child clears their dishes after they eat, be sure you clear your own dishes.
Watching you will remind the child how you want things done.
Showing that the same rules apply to everyone will also lessen arguments with older kids about the fairness of rules. , Children are more likely to remember and participate in activities they enjoy.
For example, when cleaning up the toys, play music and dance as you clean. , If there are multiple steps to a chore your child needs to do, sing those steps to a familiar tune.
This makes the chore more fun and the steps easier to remember. , Rather than simply hanging a list of rules to be remembered, paint them, draw them, turn them into wall-art.
Have your kids help.
This will give a more creative spin on the rules, give them visual interest to help them be remembered, and also enhance feelings of cooperation. -
Step 2: Simplify your rules.
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Step 3: Ask your child to repeat what you have said.
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Step 4: Write rules down.
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Step 5: Have family meetings.
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Step 6: Follow through.
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Step 7: Use positive reinforcement.
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Step 8: Be consistent.
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Step 9: Give verbal reminders.
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Step 10: Practice.
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Step 11: Follow your own rules.
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Step 12: Add some fun.
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Step 13: Write a song.
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Step 14: Make your rules into art.
Detailed Guide
When explaining your rules to your child for the first or fifth time, make sure to set them up for successful retention.
Talk to them in a quiet space when you have plenty of time and everyone is calm.
Creating this space will help your child give full attention to what you are saying., Keep the rules short and simple.
The more fully your child understands the rules, the more likely they are to remember them.For example, instead of saying "You can only have friends over if I know their parents and if you've done your homework and I'm here when they come over," you could just say, "You need to ask me before inviting friends over." Similarly, younger children might understand "No screen time after dinner" more clearly than "limited screen time within 2 hours of bed."
Putting things into their own words will help children cement their understanding of the rule and remember it more easily.
This also helps you to check whether the child has fully understood what you are saying. , Make a list of rules and hang them where the whole family can see them.
This will make it very easy for everyone to remember and will prevent arguments about what the rules were.When setting limits on screen time, sit down with your kids and work out a schedule so that they can each have an hour to use the computer, for example.
Have them write up the schedule and post it on the computer as a reminder and a way to prevent arguments about who gets to use the computer and when.
For younger kids, post steps to getting ready for bed in the bathroom, for example.
Include things like brushing teeth, combing hair, and wiping down the counters.
Add stickers for a little fun. , Especially as your child gets older they will want to be treated more as an adult.
If your older child needs to be reminded of their chores, for example, have a meeting during which you talk about every family member’s responsibilities for the week.
This will keep your child from feeling singled out.
Instead, they will feel like a part of the process.Think about having snacks during the meeting.
Adding a special treat like popcorn or sodas can make the meeting more social and fun. , When your child breaks a rule, stay calm and, as soon as you can, enforce the consequences that you have agreed upon.
The child will understand that breaking rules will always have negative consequences and will be less likely to break rules in the future.If your older child breaks curfew, for example, revoke driving privileges immediately rather than forbidding them from going to prom in three weeks.
If a small child hits their sibling, for example, give them an immediate time out rather than forbidding dessert later in the day.
Reacting immediately will more firmly remind children of all ages what your rules are and what the consequences of breaking them will be. , Keep your eye out for times your child is following your rules and behaving nicely.
Praise the child when they do something right.
Giving positive feedback will motivate the child to repeat good behaviors., Reliably enforcing consequences for bad behavior and praise for good behavior will, over time, encourage better behavior in your child., As you enforce consequences for undesired behavior, remind them why you are doing so.
For example, if your toddler has thrown blocks, say to them “I’m taking these blocks away because we made a rule against throwing them.” This will help the child understand why they are facing these consequences and help more firmly plant the rule in their memory., Rehearse with your child the behavior you would like to see.
For example, if they run next to a pool.
Have them return to their starting point and practice walking slowly next to the pool., For example, if you’ve set a rule that your child clears their dishes after they eat, be sure you clear your own dishes.
Watching you will remind the child how you want things done.
Showing that the same rules apply to everyone will also lessen arguments with older kids about the fairness of rules. , Children are more likely to remember and participate in activities they enjoy.
For example, when cleaning up the toys, play music and dance as you clean. , If there are multiple steps to a chore your child needs to do, sing those steps to a familiar tune.
This makes the chore more fun and the steps easier to remember. , Rather than simply hanging a list of rules to be remembered, paint them, draw them, turn them into wall-art.
Have your kids help.
This will give a more creative spin on the rules, give them visual interest to help them be remembered, and also enhance feelings of cooperation.
About the Author
Sophia Hart
Writer and educator with a focus on practical hobbies knowledge.
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