How to Help Your Parents to Forgive You
Listen more than you talk., Communicate whole messages., Be mindful of your tone.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen more than you talk.
Your parents will be able to forgive you more easily if they feel heard and understood.
Shutting up and listening can stop arguments and reduce emotional intensity.
Staring blankly at your parents as they speak will likely upset them.
You should nod and display appropriate expressions, so they know you are listening, and not tuning them out.
Ask questions to clarify and check your understanding.
This will demonstrate that you are processing what they are telling you.
For example, you could say something like, "I'm hearing you say that you're angry that I stayed out past curfew without clearing it with you.
Is that right?" -
Step 2: Communicate whole messages.
When it is time for you to talk, use the whole message formula to avoid misunderstandings.
Start your statement with an observation of facts.
This is usually a description of a behavior.
Then explain what you interpret that behavior to mean and how that makes you feel.
You should finish with what you would like to happen to focus the discussion on resolution.For example, "I ditched school to hang out with friends.
I knew it was wrong, but I was thought it would make me seem cool.
I was afraid I would be teased and embarrassed if I didn't go with everyone else.
I would like some help coming up with good ways to resist peer pressure to better handle this kind of situation in the future."
Your feelings about what your parents or the situation may affect your communication.
The same sentence said in different tones can mean wildly different things.
Feelings of frustration may result in a sarcastic tone or shouting before you even realize it.Try to remain objective and focus on communicating your message rather than your emotion.
If your parents do comment about your tone, apologize and explain your experiencing frustration trying to clearly communicate your message. -
Step 3: Be mindful of your tone.
Detailed Guide
Your parents will be able to forgive you more easily if they feel heard and understood.
Shutting up and listening can stop arguments and reduce emotional intensity.
Staring blankly at your parents as they speak will likely upset them.
You should nod and display appropriate expressions, so they know you are listening, and not tuning them out.
Ask questions to clarify and check your understanding.
This will demonstrate that you are processing what they are telling you.
For example, you could say something like, "I'm hearing you say that you're angry that I stayed out past curfew without clearing it with you.
Is that right?"
When it is time for you to talk, use the whole message formula to avoid misunderstandings.
Start your statement with an observation of facts.
This is usually a description of a behavior.
Then explain what you interpret that behavior to mean and how that makes you feel.
You should finish with what you would like to happen to focus the discussion on resolution.For example, "I ditched school to hang out with friends.
I knew it was wrong, but I was thought it would make me seem cool.
I was afraid I would be teased and embarrassed if I didn't go with everyone else.
I would like some help coming up with good ways to resist peer pressure to better handle this kind of situation in the future."
Your feelings about what your parents or the situation may affect your communication.
The same sentence said in different tones can mean wildly different things.
Feelings of frustration may result in a sarcastic tone or shouting before you even realize it.Try to remain objective and focus on communicating your message rather than your emotion.
If your parents do comment about your tone, apologize and explain your experiencing frustration trying to clearly communicate your message.
About the Author
Jeffrey Nguyen
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
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