How to Make a Good First Impression to the Parents if You're Autistic
Ask your partner about their parents' etiquette., Ask about the dress code., Talk to your partner about any of their parents' pet peeves., Anticipate some of the more difficult questions., Prepare some conversation topics so you don't need to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask your partner about their parents' etiquette.
Are they more formal or relaxed? Should you call the mother Ma'am, Mrs.
Ramirez, or Mom? Do they like to hug or shake hands? Ask them to tell you a bit about their manners, so you can have a sense of how to fit in. -
Step 2: Ask about the dress code.
Depending on the personality of the parents and where the group is going, you'll want to dress differently.
Talk to your partner ahead of time about what to expect. , What did their parents criticize about their exes? How difficult are they to impress? Are there any subjects that are off-limits? , Imagine if you were a parent—what would you want to know about your child's date? Consider the potential questions and get a general sense of how you would answer them.
Your future (education/job) Your background (religion, childhood, education, etc.) Your commitment to their child , Small talk can be difficult, and rather than blurting something about the weather, it helps to have a few things on hand.
Ask your date about any recent vacations, sports teams, or other things that their parents like to talk about.
Here are some ideas:
What was your partner like as a child? Where are places they've been? What did they think of those places? What is their job like? , Try a bottle of wine or some flowers.
This shows that you're thoughtful, and it makes a good first impression.
You can give the gift when you first come in. , This question depends on how obvious your symptoms are, your personal preferences, and how hard it is to act neurotypical.
If it will probably come up, it's good to have a brief explanation rehearsed.
Not all people understand what autism is, and they may have misconceptions that you'll need to gently correct.
If you don't want to say you're autistic but have visible symptoms, try saying that you have a disability.
Assure them that it's no big deal.
Nobody is entitled to information about your disability.
Only tell them if you want to do so. -
Step 3: Talk to your partner about any of their parents' pet peeves.
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Step 4: Anticipate some of the more difficult questions.
-
Step 5: Prepare some conversation topics so you don't need to flounder.
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Step 6: Bring a gift if you are visiting their house for the first time.
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Step 7: Consider whether and when you want to discuss your autism.
Detailed Guide
Are they more formal or relaxed? Should you call the mother Ma'am, Mrs.
Ramirez, or Mom? Do they like to hug or shake hands? Ask them to tell you a bit about their manners, so you can have a sense of how to fit in.
Depending on the personality of the parents and where the group is going, you'll want to dress differently.
Talk to your partner ahead of time about what to expect. , What did their parents criticize about their exes? How difficult are they to impress? Are there any subjects that are off-limits? , Imagine if you were a parent—what would you want to know about your child's date? Consider the potential questions and get a general sense of how you would answer them.
Your future (education/job) Your background (religion, childhood, education, etc.) Your commitment to their child , Small talk can be difficult, and rather than blurting something about the weather, it helps to have a few things on hand.
Ask your date about any recent vacations, sports teams, or other things that their parents like to talk about.
Here are some ideas:
What was your partner like as a child? Where are places they've been? What did they think of those places? What is their job like? , Try a bottle of wine or some flowers.
This shows that you're thoughtful, and it makes a good first impression.
You can give the gift when you first come in. , This question depends on how obvious your symptoms are, your personal preferences, and how hard it is to act neurotypical.
If it will probably come up, it's good to have a brief explanation rehearsed.
Not all people understand what autism is, and they may have misconceptions that you'll need to gently correct.
If you don't want to say you're autistic but have visible symptoms, try saying that you have a disability.
Assure them that it's no big deal.
Nobody is entitled to information about your disability.
Only tell them if you want to do so.
About the Author
Sophia Ruiz
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.
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