How to Mentor a Troubled Child
Be a friend to the needy child., Be a good example., Relate with the child, if it is possible., Be honest with the child., Listen to the child., Make a plan for the future., Have fun with the child.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Be a friend to the needy child.
Remember that you are not there to be a surrogate parent or an authority figure, but, instead, a friendly face for the child to communicate with. -
Step 2: Be a good example.
"Monkey-see monkey-do" is a very true statement.
If you are going to tell the child how to be a good citizen, then you need to be one.
If the child hears or sees you do something, there is a good chance the child will repeat it.
Always be the person that you would want your mentor to be.
Being a good example doesn't mean that you have to be perfect, or that you can't show your weaknesses.
One thing children can
- and should
- learn is how to work with or around shortcomings and problems.
If you can apologize when you're wrong to the child as well as in front of the child, you will make a far greater impact than if you never admit mistakes.
That's one of the biggest life lessons a mentor can give any child, that it's okay to be wrong and apologize. , Doing so will allow the child to feel as if you understand them, especially if you share a similar story that happened in your own life.
The child will then be more open with you. , Troubled children are often very good at detecting dishonesty, because, more than likely, they have been lied to in the past.
If you cannot relate to the child, do not pretend that you can because the child will know that you are lying.
Being dishonest will make it harder for the child to trust and open up to you. , The most significant thing a child might need is someone who gives them the time of day, and listens to what they have to say.
Most troubled children do not have anyone in their life who cares enough to listen to them.
Mentoring a child is not always sharing your knowledge or thoughts, but allowing the child to share their life with you, and just lending a sympathetic ear. , Part of mentoring is making simple long- or short-term goals for the child to accomplish.
The sense of accomplishment is something every child needs; therefore, you need to help pave the way for the child's success.
Making plans with the child and letting the child set his or her own goals is even more powerful.
Listen to the child's goals and help them refine their goal setting.
Discuss them and set it up so the child's making the decision after looking at all the alternatives.
That teaches independence and sensible goal setting, the achievement also becomes a lot more important to their confidence in life when they are responsible for the decision of making the goal.
Even goals that sound unreasonable at first glance can be broken down into many smaller ones.
A child that wants a horse someday can work toward becoming knowledgeable about horses and horse care, save money, plan a life that will allow living in the country where having a horse is more practical.
Listen for how often an "impossible" goal is repeated among other fantasies.
If it's a deeply felt calling to a particular profession, the child would probably be happiest later in life following it
- whether that's training horses, going into medicine, driving a truck, owning a restaurant, becoming an artist.
People are happiest in life if they love their work. , Remember that the child you are mentoring is still a kid, and wants to have fun.
Allowing the child to forget their past or present problems, and act their age is something they will thrive on.
This will also relax the child, and make them feel like they can trust you and open up to you
- because they consider you to be a friend. -
Step 3: Relate with the child
-
Step 4: if it is possible.
-
Step 5: Be honest with the child.
-
Step 6: Listen to the child.
-
Step 7: Make a plan for the future.
-
Step 8: Have fun with the child.
Detailed Guide
Remember that you are not there to be a surrogate parent or an authority figure, but, instead, a friendly face for the child to communicate with.
"Monkey-see monkey-do" is a very true statement.
If you are going to tell the child how to be a good citizen, then you need to be one.
If the child hears or sees you do something, there is a good chance the child will repeat it.
Always be the person that you would want your mentor to be.
Being a good example doesn't mean that you have to be perfect, or that you can't show your weaknesses.
One thing children can
- and should
- learn is how to work with or around shortcomings and problems.
If you can apologize when you're wrong to the child as well as in front of the child, you will make a far greater impact than if you never admit mistakes.
That's one of the biggest life lessons a mentor can give any child, that it's okay to be wrong and apologize. , Doing so will allow the child to feel as if you understand them, especially if you share a similar story that happened in your own life.
The child will then be more open with you. , Troubled children are often very good at detecting dishonesty, because, more than likely, they have been lied to in the past.
If you cannot relate to the child, do not pretend that you can because the child will know that you are lying.
Being dishonest will make it harder for the child to trust and open up to you. , The most significant thing a child might need is someone who gives them the time of day, and listens to what they have to say.
Most troubled children do not have anyone in their life who cares enough to listen to them.
Mentoring a child is not always sharing your knowledge or thoughts, but allowing the child to share their life with you, and just lending a sympathetic ear. , Part of mentoring is making simple long- or short-term goals for the child to accomplish.
The sense of accomplishment is something every child needs; therefore, you need to help pave the way for the child's success.
Making plans with the child and letting the child set his or her own goals is even more powerful.
Listen to the child's goals and help them refine their goal setting.
Discuss them and set it up so the child's making the decision after looking at all the alternatives.
That teaches independence and sensible goal setting, the achievement also becomes a lot more important to their confidence in life when they are responsible for the decision of making the goal.
Even goals that sound unreasonable at first glance can be broken down into many smaller ones.
A child that wants a horse someday can work toward becoming knowledgeable about horses and horse care, save money, plan a life that will allow living in the country where having a horse is more practical.
Listen for how often an "impossible" goal is repeated among other fantasies.
If it's a deeply felt calling to a particular profession, the child would probably be happiest later in life following it
- whether that's training horses, going into medicine, driving a truck, owning a restaurant, becoming an artist.
People are happiest in life if they love their work. , Remember that the child you are mentoring is still a kid, and wants to have fun.
Allowing the child to forget their past or present problems, and act their age is something they will thrive on.
This will also relax the child, and make them feel like they can trust you and open up to you
- because they consider you to be a friend.
About the Author
Dennis Reed
Specializes in breaking down complex organization topics into simple steps.
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