How to Protect Your Children from Child Abuse
Teach your children about personal space., Teach that it is never okay for people to hurt others., Enforce your child's right to set boundaries., Applaud your child for setting boundaries., Talk about secrets., Discuss privacy.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Teach your children about personal space.
Explain that sometimes people don't want to be touched, and this is normal and okay.
If they don't want to be touched, they have the right to say no and have that respected.
If someone else wants not to be touched, they must listen to it.
This applies to more innocent forms of touching: poking, hugging, roughhousing, hand-holding, et cetera.
Your child can generalize and will understand that less innocent forms of touching also require clear consent.
This can be taught in playtime.
For example, if there is a mean doll, you can have a nice doll say "please leave me alone" and "I don't want to be touched" to the mean doll. -
Step 2: Teach that it is never okay for people to hurt others.
Hitting, pulling hair, kicking, biting, pushing, et cetera are not okay because they hurt others.
Be firm with your child if they do this, and be firm with anyone who tries to do it to your child or someone else.
Explain that if they see someone doing this to them or someone else, it is not okay and they can tell an adult about it.
Horseplay is natural for kids.
If this happens, remind them to be gentle and that they need to stop if the other person wants them to stop.
This enforces the difference between consensual roughhousing (e.g. contact sports) and non-consensual abuse (e.g. hitting someone who wants to be left alone). , Your child will start learning how to speak up and set boundaries.
Let your child try it first, and if they struggle with it or the other person disregards them, step in to reinforce what your child wants.
For example, "Stella, stop playing with Mariana's hair.
She asked you twice to stop it, and you need to respect that." Let your child choose whether they want to be hugged, kissed, or held by others.
If they say no and are ignored, make it clear that you expect others to respect the no. "Nana, I'm teaching George about bodily autonomy and setting boundaries.
If he says he doesn't like kisses on the cheek, then please don't kiss him on the cheek." Don't let your child violate others' boundaries either.
Tell them to stop if you see them doing it. , "Good job telling your brother what you wanted" and "Thanks for telling me that you don't like to be hugged while you're eating" let your child know that it's a good thing to say how they feel. , Your child will be told secrets, tell secrets to others, and keep secrets.
Explain that whether a secret should be kept depends on whether one way or another will cause harm.
A secret should not be kept if keeping the secret means someone will be hurt.
Here are some examples to give them:
If your friend says he is mad at his sister, this is not a good idea to repeat.
Keeping the secret won't hurt anybody, while telling people might hurt the sister.
The friend and his sister should work it out with each other.
If a friend stops eating because she says she is fat and ugly, you should tell someone.
If no one finds out, she could get very sick and hurt, so it's good to tell an adult to keep the friend safe.
If an adult says creepy things that make you uncomfortable, and says to keep it a secret, tell someone.
You could get hurt by the creepy adult, and she could hurt other kids too. , Make it a house rule to knock before entering bedrooms and bathrooms.
Let your child figure out whether they want to dress and undress in privacy (if they are old enough to dress themselves).
If they change their minds and want privacy when they didn't before, make it clear that others need to respect this.
Some siblings are okay with changing together, while others aren't.
Tell them that it's up to both of them, and if one doesn't want to, then it mustn't happen. -
Step 3: Enforce your child's right to set boundaries.
-
Step 4: Applaud your child for setting boundaries.
-
Step 5: Talk about secrets.
-
Step 6: Discuss privacy.
Detailed Guide
Explain that sometimes people don't want to be touched, and this is normal and okay.
If they don't want to be touched, they have the right to say no and have that respected.
If someone else wants not to be touched, they must listen to it.
This applies to more innocent forms of touching: poking, hugging, roughhousing, hand-holding, et cetera.
Your child can generalize and will understand that less innocent forms of touching also require clear consent.
This can be taught in playtime.
For example, if there is a mean doll, you can have a nice doll say "please leave me alone" and "I don't want to be touched" to the mean doll.
Hitting, pulling hair, kicking, biting, pushing, et cetera are not okay because they hurt others.
Be firm with your child if they do this, and be firm with anyone who tries to do it to your child or someone else.
Explain that if they see someone doing this to them or someone else, it is not okay and they can tell an adult about it.
Horseplay is natural for kids.
If this happens, remind them to be gentle and that they need to stop if the other person wants them to stop.
This enforces the difference between consensual roughhousing (e.g. contact sports) and non-consensual abuse (e.g. hitting someone who wants to be left alone). , Your child will start learning how to speak up and set boundaries.
Let your child try it first, and if they struggle with it or the other person disregards them, step in to reinforce what your child wants.
For example, "Stella, stop playing with Mariana's hair.
She asked you twice to stop it, and you need to respect that." Let your child choose whether they want to be hugged, kissed, or held by others.
If they say no and are ignored, make it clear that you expect others to respect the no. "Nana, I'm teaching George about bodily autonomy and setting boundaries.
If he says he doesn't like kisses on the cheek, then please don't kiss him on the cheek." Don't let your child violate others' boundaries either.
Tell them to stop if you see them doing it. , "Good job telling your brother what you wanted" and "Thanks for telling me that you don't like to be hugged while you're eating" let your child know that it's a good thing to say how they feel. , Your child will be told secrets, tell secrets to others, and keep secrets.
Explain that whether a secret should be kept depends on whether one way or another will cause harm.
A secret should not be kept if keeping the secret means someone will be hurt.
Here are some examples to give them:
If your friend says he is mad at his sister, this is not a good idea to repeat.
Keeping the secret won't hurt anybody, while telling people might hurt the sister.
The friend and his sister should work it out with each other.
If a friend stops eating because she says she is fat and ugly, you should tell someone.
If no one finds out, she could get very sick and hurt, so it's good to tell an adult to keep the friend safe.
If an adult says creepy things that make you uncomfortable, and says to keep it a secret, tell someone.
You could get hurt by the creepy adult, and she could hurt other kids too. , Make it a house rule to knock before entering bedrooms and bathrooms.
Let your child figure out whether they want to dress and undress in privacy (if they are old enough to dress themselves).
If they change their minds and want privacy when they didn't before, make it clear that others need to respect this.
Some siblings are okay with changing together, while others aren't.
Tell them that it's up to both of them, and if one doesn't want to, then it mustn't happen.
About the Author
Daniel Moore
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow home improvement tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: