How to Raise Confident Children
Avoid controlling your child’s tasks and activities., Teach rather than critique., Teach them to think positively., Lead by example.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Avoid controlling your child’s tasks and activities.
Confidence in children depends heavily upon support.
Doing things for your child will rob them of the opportunity to learn how and what to do themselves.
Instead of controlling tasks or just doing them yourself, complete them with your child so that they might learn how.Avoiding control does not mean losing authority.
You can be authoritative without creating a dependence for your child being told what to do.Don’t redo tasks they’ve already completed.
If the way they’ve finished something is an issue, use it as a learning opportunity and redo the task together. -
Step 2: Teach rather than critique.
Raising confident children often means helping them discover and learn from each experience, and there’s no better way than to take advantage of each learning opportunity.
When your child tries to complete a task, whether new or already known, take the time to ask the questions to engage their problem solving skills rather than pointing out where they went wrong.Spend time teaching your child an activity that you know how to do.
Teaching them an activity you are already familiar with will help you set up manageable goals.If you notice your child having difficulty with a task, whether it is a toy, cleaning up, using cutlery, or playing, avoid giving criticism like “You’re doing that wrong,” or, “That’s not how you do that.” Instead, try asking engaging questions that can further their involvement, like “What are you trying to do?”; “Would you like to see how I do that?”; “That doesn’t seem to be working; is there another way you could do it?”; or “Would you like my help?” Try making something from start to finish, like a birdhouse or puzzle, to teach patience, problem solving skills, and the rewards of completing a task. , Teach them that not everything should be negative, and to keep on the positive side of life.
Tell them that if they catch themselves thinking negatively, to stop, rethink, and remember that anything can be positive.
If they're negative about a problem, instead of feeling negative, tell them to solve the problem, and even help them solve it.
Try asking questions like “Is there anything you can do to solve this problem?” or “What can I do to help you?” , Modeling positive self confidence will provide a key examples of what self confidence looks and acts like.
Children are constantly picking up and absorbing other’s actions and behaviors.
Be sure to set a good example and be as confident as you can be!Don’t put yourself down, be overly critical of yourself or others, and don’t talk badly about others in front of your child.
Instead, promote confidence by speaking positively and affirming your own actions.
Instead of saying “I did such a bad job,” try saying things like “That was really difficult.
I’m happy with my effort but there is plenty of room for improvement.” It is important for parents to model ownership of mistakes and show their children that they still have confidence and are secure in their self-worth.
Try banning negative statements, like “I suck at this,” or, “I’m such an idiot.” -
Step 3: Teach them to think positively.
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Step 4: Lead by example.
Detailed Guide
Confidence in children depends heavily upon support.
Doing things for your child will rob them of the opportunity to learn how and what to do themselves.
Instead of controlling tasks or just doing them yourself, complete them with your child so that they might learn how.Avoiding control does not mean losing authority.
You can be authoritative without creating a dependence for your child being told what to do.Don’t redo tasks they’ve already completed.
If the way they’ve finished something is an issue, use it as a learning opportunity and redo the task together.
Raising confident children often means helping them discover and learn from each experience, and there’s no better way than to take advantage of each learning opportunity.
When your child tries to complete a task, whether new or already known, take the time to ask the questions to engage their problem solving skills rather than pointing out where they went wrong.Spend time teaching your child an activity that you know how to do.
Teaching them an activity you are already familiar with will help you set up manageable goals.If you notice your child having difficulty with a task, whether it is a toy, cleaning up, using cutlery, or playing, avoid giving criticism like “You’re doing that wrong,” or, “That’s not how you do that.” Instead, try asking engaging questions that can further their involvement, like “What are you trying to do?”; “Would you like to see how I do that?”; “That doesn’t seem to be working; is there another way you could do it?”; or “Would you like my help?” Try making something from start to finish, like a birdhouse or puzzle, to teach patience, problem solving skills, and the rewards of completing a task. , Teach them that not everything should be negative, and to keep on the positive side of life.
Tell them that if they catch themselves thinking negatively, to stop, rethink, and remember that anything can be positive.
If they're negative about a problem, instead of feeling negative, tell them to solve the problem, and even help them solve it.
Try asking questions like “Is there anything you can do to solve this problem?” or “What can I do to help you?” , Modeling positive self confidence will provide a key examples of what self confidence looks and acts like.
Children are constantly picking up and absorbing other’s actions and behaviors.
Be sure to set a good example and be as confident as you can be!Don’t put yourself down, be overly critical of yourself or others, and don’t talk badly about others in front of your child.
Instead, promote confidence by speaking positively and affirming your own actions.
Instead of saying “I did such a bad job,” try saying things like “That was really difficult.
I’m happy with my effort but there is plenty of room for improvement.” It is important for parents to model ownership of mistakes and show their children that they still have confidence and are secure in their self-worth.
Try banning negative statements, like “I suck at this,” or, “I’m such an idiot.”
About the Author
Kayla Henderson
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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