How to Reduce Arguments Between Your Kids
Stay calm., Do not pick sides or place blame., Encourage your kids to describe their feelings to each other., Ask them to come up with a solution to the issue.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stay calm.
Try not to get upset or angry at your kids when they fight.
Displaying anger can end up causing the situation to escalate and make your kids even more upset.
Take a deep breath when you address an argument between them and remain calm.
Act unfazed by their argument and maintain your cool.To stay calm, you can take a few deep breaths before you address your fighting kids.
Or you may close your eyes for a second to calm down and then address them. -
Step 2: Do not pick sides or place blame.
As the parent, it is not your responsibility to be the referee for the argument between your kids.
Avoid picking sides or placing blame on any of your kids.
Doing this will only make one child feel hurt or left out.
Often, this also results in the arguments getting worse or more intense between your kids.Try not to use the phrases, “It’s your fault”, “Who is responsible for the argument?” or “What did you do?” when speaking to your kids during a fight. , To help break up an argument, encourage your kids to resolve them on their own with your guidance.
Start by having your kids describe their feelings to each other using “I” statements.
Tell them, “Explain how your brother’s actions made you feel using ‘I feel’” or “Tell your sister how your actions made you feel using ‘I feel’.” This will allow your kids to express themselves on their own and be aware of how they are both feeling during the argument.Explain to your kids that what they are feeling is valid, but that reacting to their feelings with anger or violence towards someone else is not okay.
Discuss the importance of listening to other people’s feelings and taking into account the feelings of others before they act. , Rather than try to come up with a solution for your kids, ask them to do this themselves.
Put the responsibility of coming up with a solution to an issue on your kids so they learn how to resolve issues themselves.
You may ask them, “How can you both resolve this issue?” or “What is the solution to this problem between you two?”Have your kids talk out the issue and reach a resolution together.
Encourage them to keep talking to work it out by reminding them to use “I” statements and to express how they are feeling.
Tell them to be good listeners for each other and to respectfully pay attention to what is being said. -
Step 3: Encourage your kids to describe their feelings to each other.
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Step 4: Ask them to come up with a solution to the issue.
Detailed Guide
Try not to get upset or angry at your kids when they fight.
Displaying anger can end up causing the situation to escalate and make your kids even more upset.
Take a deep breath when you address an argument between them and remain calm.
Act unfazed by their argument and maintain your cool.To stay calm, you can take a few deep breaths before you address your fighting kids.
Or you may close your eyes for a second to calm down and then address them.
As the parent, it is not your responsibility to be the referee for the argument between your kids.
Avoid picking sides or placing blame on any of your kids.
Doing this will only make one child feel hurt or left out.
Often, this also results in the arguments getting worse or more intense between your kids.Try not to use the phrases, “It’s your fault”, “Who is responsible for the argument?” or “What did you do?” when speaking to your kids during a fight. , To help break up an argument, encourage your kids to resolve them on their own with your guidance.
Start by having your kids describe their feelings to each other using “I” statements.
Tell them, “Explain how your brother’s actions made you feel using ‘I feel’” or “Tell your sister how your actions made you feel using ‘I feel’.” This will allow your kids to express themselves on their own and be aware of how they are both feeling during the argument.Explain to your kids that what they are feeling is valid, but that reacting to their feelings with anger or violence towards someone else is not okay.
Discuss the importance of listening to other people’s feelings and taking into account the feelings of others before they act. , Rather than try to come up with a solution for your kids, ask them to do this themselves.
Put the responsibility of coming up with a solution to an issue on your kids so they learn how to resolve issues themselves.
You may ask them, “How can you both resolve this issue?” or “What is the solution to this problem between you two?”Have your kids talk out the issue and reach a resolution together.
Encourage them to keep talking to work it out by reminding them to use “I” statements and to express how they are feeling.
Tell them to be good listeners for each other and to respectfully pay attention to what is being said.
About the Author
Andrew Powell
Committed to making lifestyle accessible and understandable for everyone.
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