How to Reduce Meltdowns and Tantrums in Autistic Children
Consider the cause of your child’s meltdown., Find ways to make home life more comfortable for your child., Teach stress management techniques to your child., Notice when the child is stressed, and validate their feelings., Model positive behavior...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider the cause of your child’s meltdown.
A meltdown is when an autistic person can no longer handle the bottled-up stress that they have been holding back, and it is released in an outburst that looks like a tantrum.
Your child’s meltdown was most likely caused by something that is frustrating him.
Autistic children don't melt down because they want to be difficult, but because of something stressful.
They may be trying to say that they cannot cope with a situation, stimulus, or routine change.
They may melt down out of frustration or as a last resort if other communication attempts fail.
Meltdowns can take many forms.
They may involve screaming, crying, covering ears, self-injurious behavior, or occasionally aggression. -
Step 2: Find ways to make home life more comfortable for your child.
Since meltdowns come from pent-up stress, creating a friendlier environment can minimize stressors in the child's life.
Follow a routine to give your child a sense of stability.
Creating a picture schedule can help them visualize the routine.If changes have to occur, it is best to prepare your child for these changes by showing them the changes that are to be made through pictures or social stories.
Explain why the change will occur.
This will help your child understand what to expect and be calm when it happens.
Allow your child to leave stressful situations as needed. , Some autistic children do not understand how to deal with their emotions and may need extra guidance.
Congratulate your child when they successfully demonstrate stress management techniques.
Come up with plans for specific stressors (loud noises, crowded rooms, etc.).
Teach self-calming techniques: deep breathing, counting, taking breaks, etc.
Have a plan for how a child can tell you if something is bothering them. , Treating their needs as natural and important will help them learn that it's okay to express them. "I see your face is all scrunched up.
Is the loud thumping bothering you? I can ask your sisters to go play outside." "You seem angry today.
Would you like to tell me why you're upset?"
Your child observes you when you're stressed, and learns to mimic your coping behaviors.
Keeping your cool, clearly expressing your feelings, and taking quiet time when you need it will help your child learn to do the same.
Consider narrating your choices. "I'm feeling upset right now, so I'm going to take a quick break and take some deep breaths.
Then I'll be right back." After you use a behavior several times, the child is likely to try it out for themselves. , It is important to recognize your child may have difficulties processing and regulating multiple sights, sounds, smells and textures.
Too much stimulation and your child can become stressed, overwhelmed, and prone to meltdowns.
In this circumstance, a quiet room can help the child calm down.Teach the child to signal that they need the room.
They can point to the room, show a picture card representing the room, use sign language, type, or ask verbally.
Read How to Make a Calming Down Corner for additional tips. , Keeping a record of each time that your child has a meltdown can also help you to understand the reasons for the behavior.
Try answering the following questions in writing the next time your child has a meltdown:
What made the child upset? (Consider that the child may have been holding back stress for hours.) What signs of stress did the child exhibit? If you noticed any stress buildup, what did you do? Was it effective? How could you prevent a similar meltdown in the future? , Remember that autism is not an excuse for hitting or being mean.
If the child is mean to others, talk to him once they have calmed down.
Explain that the particular action was not acceptable, and tell them what they can do instead. "It was not okay for you to hit your brother.
I understand that you were upset, but hitting hurts people, and it's not okay to hurt people when you're angry.
If you're mad, you can take some deep breaths, take a break, or tell me about the problem."
Autistic people have been traumatized or killed in the hands of the police.If you cannot handle a meltdown, get one of the child's other caregivers to help you.
Only call the police in extreme, physically harmful situations.
Police may respond violently to your child, which could cause symptoms of PTSD and lead to worse meltdowns. -
Step 3: Teach stress management techniques to your child.
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Step 4: Notice when the child is stressed
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Step 5: and validate their feelings.
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Step 6: Model positive behavior for your child.
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Step 7: Create a quiet space for your child.
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Step 8: Keep a meltdown log.
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Step 9: Talk to your child about hitting and bad behavior.
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Step 10: Contact one of the child’s other caregivers for assistance during a meltdown.
Detailed Guide
A meltdown is when an autistic person can no longer handle the bottled-up stress that they have been holding back, and it is released in an outburst that looks like a tantrum.
Your child’s meltdown was most likely caused by something that is frustrating him.
Autistic children don't melt down because they want to be difficult, but because of something stressful.
They may be trying to say that they cannot cope with a situation, stimulus, or routine change.
They may melt down out of frustration or as a last resort if other communication attempts fail.
Meltdowns can take many forms.
They may involve screaming, crying, covering ears, self-injurious behavior, or occasionally aggression.
Since meltdowns come from pent-up stress, creating a friendlier environment can minimize stressors in the child's life.
Follow a routine to give your child a sense of stability.
Creating a picture schedule can help them visualize the routine.If changes have to occur, it is best to prepare your child for these changes by showing them the changes that are to be made through pictures or social stories.
Explain why the change will occur.
This will help your child understand what to expect and be calm when it happens.
Allow your child to leave stressful situations as needed. , Some autistic children do not understand how to deal with their emotions and may need extra guidance.
Congratulate your child when they successfully demonstrate stress management techniques.
Come up with plans for specific stressors (loud noises, crowded rooms, etc.).
Teach self-calming techniques: deep breathing, counting, taking breaks, etc.
Have a plan for how a child can tell you if something is bothering them. , Treating their needs as natural and important will help them learn that it's okay to express them. "I see your face is all scrunched up.
Is the loud thumping bothering you? I can ask your sisters to go play outside." "You seem angry today.
Would you like to tell me why you're upset?"
Your child observes you when you're stressed, and learns to mimic your coping behaviors.
Keeping your cool, clearly expressing your feelings, and taking quiet time when you need it will help your child learn to do the same.
Consider narrating your choices. "I'm feeling upset right now, so I'm going to take a quick break and take some deep breaths.
Then I'll be right back." After you use a behavior several times, the child is likely to try it out for themselves. , It is important to recognize your child may have difficulties processing and regulating multiple sights, sounds, smells and textures.
Too much stimulation and your child can become stressed, overwhelmed, and prone to meltdowns.
In this circumstance, a quiet room can help the child calm down.Teach the child to signal that they need the room.
They can point to the room, show a picture card representing the room, use sign language, type, or ask verbally.
Read How to Make a Calming Down Corner for additional tips. , Keeping a record of each time that your child has a meltdown can also help you to understand the reasons for the behavior.
Try answering the following questions in writing the next time your child has a meltdown:
What made the child upset? (Consider that the child may have been holding back stress for hours.) What signs of stress did the child exhibit? If you noticed any stress buildup, what did you do? Was it effective? How could you prevent a similar meltdown in the future? , Remember that autism is not an excuse for hitting or being mean.
If the child is mean to others, talk to him once they have calmed down.
Explain that the particular action was not acceptable, and tell them what they can do instead. "It was not okay for you to hit your brother.
I understand that you were upset, but hitting hurts people, and it's not okay to hurt people when you're angry.
If you're mad, you can take some deep breaths, take a break, or tell me about the problem."
Autistic people have been traumatized or killed in the hands of the police.If you cannot handle a meltdown, get one of the child's other caregivers to help you.
Only call the police in extreme, physically harmful situations.
Police may respond violently to your child, which could cause symptoms of PTSD and lead to worse meltdowns.
About the Author
Shirley Williams
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in lifestyle and beyond.
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