How to Stop Being Rude to Your Parents
Don't lose control., Speak carefully., Watch your body language., Listen to your parents., Know when to stop pushing a subject., Don't suddenly walk away., Do not act aggressively., Apologize for misbehavior.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't lose control.
Often times we behave rudely because our emotions get the best of us.
If you find yourself in a situation with your parents where you keep getting angrier and angrier, finding a way to calm down, collect your thoughts, and keep yourself from losing control is critical.
Stop and count backwards from 10 before continuing.
Take a few slow, deep breaths.
Relax your body.
Step outside the room for a few minutes and take a break.Go get a drink of water.
Ask to continue the discussion at another time when you are more together. -
Step 2: Speak carefully.
What you say and how you say it can play an important role in how people perceive your actions.
If you know that you have to talk about something that is a touchy subject, try writing out what you say and imagining what their responses might be.
You can even act out how the conversation might go in private so as to better prepare yourself in the event something is said that might bother you.
It is okay to pause to think or even to tell your parents you need a moment to think.
Do not try to be clever and sass back at your parents as this will only create a hostile atmosphere which could turn into a heated argument.
Avoid name calling, cursing, sarcasm, and raising your voice above all else.
Try to approach the discussion as a mature adult so that you will be treated as such.Avoid statements that start with "You," like "You always," and "You never," which can sound like accusations and make people defensive.Instead, try to use sentences that use "I feel" to express yourself, like "I feel like you don't trust me because you won't let me stay out after 10 o'clock."
Body language refers to all of the non-verbal communication that we make with our bodies and not our mouths.
Your body can communicate aggression, anger, and disrespect even when your voice and words don't.
Since it makes up about 50% of the message that you send to other people, it's very important to know what not to do in order not to send rude or aggressive messages!Don't roll your eyes.
Don't make vulgar hand gestures.
Don't plug your ears or repeat after them mockingly.
Don't glare or scowl at them.
Don't clench your fists, invade their personal space, or otherwise act aggressively.
Don't cross your arms in front of your chest because it tells someone you're defensive or not listening.Try to keep yourself relaxed. , Even if you think you already know what they're going to say or you don't agree with what is being said, really stop to listen to what you parents are telling you.
Ignoring them or trying to talk over them is only going to make the situation worse.
Knowing how to listen to another person is just as if not more important to the communication process as speaking. , If your parents indicate that a subject is no longer up for discussion, let it go.
Continuing to push them after they have told you to quit is only going to make them irritated, and it will likely not win you any points.
Just think how you would feel if someone continued to bother you about something after you asked them to stop. , While it is okay to need and ask for a break in the conversation and to get some space, you should never leave without saying so first.
It is important to ask for permission because if you walk away with no warning, your parents may think you are trying to further disrespect them by turning your back on them and ignoring what they're saying. , Most people know that it's not okay to hit or kick other people, but this also extends to other aggressive acts, like slamming doors or throwing or breaking things.
Not only could someone get hurt, you will most likely get into serious trouble.
If you find yourself regularly getting so angry that you completely lose control and want to hit, kick, or break things, you may need to talk with your parents about seeking anger counseling. , In addition to not wallowing in bad feelings, it's important to make amends with your parents if you behave rudely.
Even though you may disagree with them, your parents still care about you.
When you are rude to them you may hurt their feelings in addition to being disrespectful.
An apology usually starts with an expression of regret for a specific action, such as "I'm sorry for rolling my eyes at you." It then acknowledges why the action was a bad thing or the other person's feelings, like "I know that when I did that, it made you angry, and that was wrong of me." Finally, it should express your intention to change. "I'm working on changing my behaviors.
I promise to try not to do that again." Apologizing for doing wrong is a mark of maturity.
Not only will it help mend any broken ties between you and your parents, it will show them you are trying to be an adult, and likely it will impress them.
Although a verbal apology is usually more appropriate considering your close relationship, if you find it easier to do so you can always put it in writing.
Make sure that when you say it you actually sound like you mean it.
An insincere apology is just as bad if not worse than not receiving one at all. -
Step 3: Watch your body language.
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Step 4: Listen to your parents.
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Step 5: Know when to stop pushing a subject.
-
Step 6: Don't suddenly walk away.
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Step 7: Do not act aggressively.
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Step 8: Apologize for misbehavior.
Detailed Guide
Often times we behave rudely because our emotions get the best of us.
If you find yourself in a situation with your parents where you keep getting angrier and angrier, finding a way to calm down, collect your thoughts, and keep yourself from losing control is critical.
Stop and count backwards from 10 before continuing.
Take a few slow, deep breaths.
Relax your body.
Step outside the room for a few minutes and take a break.Go get a drink of water.
Ask to continue the discussion at another time when you are more together.
What you say and how you say it can play an important role in how people perceive your actions.
If you know that you have to talk about something that is a touchy subject, try writing out what you say and imagining what their responses might be.
You can even act out how the conversation might go in private so as to better prepare yourself in the event something is said that might bother you.
It is okay to pause to think or even to tell your parents you need a moment to think.
Do not try to be clever and sass back at your parents as this will only create a hostile atmosphere which could turn into a heated argument.
Avoid name calling, cursing, sarcasm, and raising your voice above all else.
Try to approach the discussion as a mature adult so that you will be treated as such.Avoid statements that start with "You," like "You always," and "You never," which can sound like accusations and make people defensive.Instead, try to use sentences that use "I feel" to express yourself, like "I feel like you don't trust me because you won't let me stay out after 10 o'clock."
Body language refers to all of the non-verbal communication that we make with our bodies and not our mouths.
Your body can communicate aggression, anger, and disrespect even when your voice and words don't.
Since it makes up about 50% of the message that you send to other people, it's very important to know what not to do in order not to send rude or aggressive messages!Don't roll your eyes.
Don't make vulgar hand gestures.
Don't plug your ears or repeat after them mockingly.
Don't glare or scowl at them.
Don't clench your fists, invade their personal space, or otherwise act aggressively.
Don't cross your arms in front of your chest because it tells someone you're defensive or not listening.Try to keep yourself relaxed. , Even if you think you already know what they're going to say or you don't agree with what is being said, really stop to listen to what you parents are telling you.
Ignoring them or trying to talk over them is only going to make the situation worse.
Knowing how to listen to another person is just as if not more important to the communication process as speaking. , If your parents indicate that a subject is no longer up for discussion, let it go.
Continuing to push them after they have told you to quit is only going to make them irritated, and it will likely not win you any points.
Just think how you would feel if someone continued to bother you about something after you asked them to stop. , While it is okay to need and ask for a break in the conversation and to get some space, you should never leave without saying so first.
It is important to ask for permission because if you walk away with no warning, your parents may think you are trying to further disrespect them by turning your back on them and ignoring what they're saying. , Most people know that it's not okay to hit or kick other people, but this also extends to other aggressive acts, like slamming doors or throwing or breaking things.
Not only could someone get hurt, you will most likely get into serious trouble.
If you find yourself regularly getting so angry that you completely lose control and want to hit, kick, or break things, you may need to talk with your parents about seeking anger counseling. , In addition to not wallowing in bad feelings, it's important to make amends with your parents if you behave rudely.
Even though you may disagree with them, your parents still care about you.
When you are rude to them you may hurt their feelings in addition to being disrespectful.
An apology usually starts with an expression of regret for a specific action, such as "I'm sorry for rolling my eyes at you." It then acknowledges why the action was a bad thing or the other person's feelings, like "I know that when I did that, it made you angry, and that was wrong of me." Finally, it should express your intention to change. "I'm working on changing my behaviors.
I promise to try not to do that again." Apologizing for doing wrong is a mark of maturity.
Not only will it help mend any broken ties between you and your parents, it will show them you are trying to be an adult, and likely it will impress them.
Although a verbal apology is usually more appropriate considering your close relationship, if you find it easier to do so you can always put it in writing.
Make sure that when you say it you actually sound like you mean it.
An insincere apology is just as bad if not worse than not receiving one at all.
About the Author
Natalie Gutierrez
Specializes in breaking down complex home improvement topics into simple steps.
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