How to Support Parents of Children with Disabilities
Offer help with daily tasks., Make yourself available., Volunteer to babysit., Help the parents gather information., Offer to take notes at meetings.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Offer help with daily tasks.
All parents need help sometimes, regardless of whether disability is a factor in their families.
Parents of special needs children may not necessarily ask you for help – they may be ashamed or embarrassed, or they may just want to avoid putting you out.
As someone who cares for them and wants to show your support, notice ways you can help and simply do those things.For example, if you're over at the parents' home and notice some dirty dishes in the sink, just start doing them.
If the parents try to get you to stop, insist that it's your pleasure to help.
You also might help with laundry or other household chores.
If the parents have other children, you might give them a ride home from sports practices or after-school activities so the parents can get their child to a therapy or doctor's appointment.
This can be particularly easy to do if you have children of similar ages who are involved in the same activities.
Be prepared for some push back from the parents.
They may be embarrassed, or think you view them as a charity case or as people who are unable to do what they need to do for their family.
Tell them that isn't the case, that all families could use support sometimes, and that you're happy to do what you can to help them out.
Respect their boundaries if they want to do particular tasks themselves, but push back when their "no" comes out of a desire to be polite, rather than a genuine wish to tackle something independently. -
Step 2: Make yourself available.
Everyone needs companionship and personal support, and parents of children with disabilities are no different.
Due to their child's special needs, they may have limited availability or can only spend time with you during odd hours.Offer to take the parents out for coffee or other activities you know they enjoy.
You also should be willing to come over to their house rather than going out in public, recognizing that they may be reluctant to leave their children at home.
For example, if you know the mother loves vanilla lattes from a local café, you might pick one up for her and bring it to her at home.
If you can't get away to go see them, have a phone date to catch up.
You can even use FaceTime or Skype to spend some quality time together.
Also, understand that your friend may want to talk about their child, or not at all.
Respect the conversation as they lay it out.
Keep in mind that if you want to maintain a friendship and provide companionship to parents with disabled children, you must be willing to meet them on their terms most of the time.
Expect the relationship to be somewhat one-sided, and to make a greater effort to come to them than they make to come to you. , As long as the parents trust you to care for their child, babysitting can give the parents a chance to do things on their own or to simply relax and have some time to themselves.Parents often have difficulty finding babysitters they trust to care for their child.
They will be more likely to allow you to babysit if they know you understand their child's needs and how to keep the child safe and happy.
Perhaps more important, special needs children may react with fear or discomfort to strangers.
If the child knows and trusts you, they may feel more comfortable staying with you while their parents aren't around.
Parents also may feel guilty about leaving their child or doing things on their own.
They may worry about what might happen while they're gone.
Reassure them that everything will be fine, and that spending time on their own will renew their spirit and motivation. , Some parents are driven to conduct extensive research about their child's disability or diagnosis and the resources available locally.
Others may not have the time or the motivation – especially if they have other kids at home.Ask the parents about specific areas where you might research, or if there are any topics on which they could use more information.
You also may want to help them find information about support groups or local organizations that can provide assistance to their child.
Don't push them to take particular actions or join a particular group, as they may fear that you'll judge them or look down on them if they don't follow your suggestion.
Rather, look for more information on services that they express interest in.
For example, the mom might mention that she'd be interested in joining a support group for parents of children with disabilities.
You could say "That sounds like a good idea.
I'd be happy to research the groups in our area so you can pick the best one more easily."
The lives of the parents of a special needs child are often filled with appointments to doctors, therapists, and other healthcare professionals.
Going with them to these meetings allows them to focus on listening.At these meetings, parents are frequently inundated with information, and they may have difficulty processing it all at once.
If they're trying to listen, apply the information to their child, and take notes at the same time, they may miss out on something important.
You also can write down key words, bits of lingo, or other information they may want to research more in-depth after the meeting.
Taking notes also frees the parents from worrying about remembering everything said to them, so they can focus on what is said and ask the questions they need to ask to fully understand what the doctor or therapist is saying about their child. -
Step 3: Volunteer to babysit.
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Step 4: Help the parents gather information.
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Step 5: Offer to take notes at meetings.
Detailed Guide
All parents need help sometimes, regardless of whether disability is a factor in their families.
Parents of special needs children may not necessarily ask you for help – they may be ashamed or embarrassed, or they may just want to avoid putting you out.
As someone who cares for them and wants to show your support, notice ways you can help and simply do those things.For example, if you're over at the parents' home and notice some dirty dishes in the sink, just start doing them.
If the parents try to get you to stop, insist that it's your pleasure to help.
You also might help with laundry or other household chores.
If the parents have other children, you might give them a ride home from sports practices or after-school activities so the parents can get their child to a therapy or doctor's appointment.
This can be particularly easy to do if you have children of similar ages who are involved in the same activities.
Be prepared for some push back from the parents.
They may be embarrassed, or think you view them as a charity case or as people who are unable to do what they need to do for their family.
Tell them that isn't the case, that all families could use support sometimes, and that you're happy to do what you can to help them out.
Respect their boundaries if they want to do particular tasks themselves, but push back when their "no" comes out of a desire to be polite, rather than a genuine wish to tackle something independently.
Everyone needs companionship and personal support, and parents of children with disabilities are no different.
Due to their child's special needs, they may have limited availability or can only spend time with you during odd hours.Offer to take the parents out for coffee or other activities you know they enjoy.
You also should be willing to come over to their house rather than going out in public, recognizing that they may be reluctant to leave their children at home.
For example, if you know the mother loves vanilla lattes from a local café, you might pick one up for her and bring it to her at home.
If you can't get away to go see them, have a phone date to catch up.
You can even use FaceTime or Skype to spend some quality time together.
Also, understand that your friend may want to talk about their child, or not at all.
Respect the conversation as they lay it out.
Keep in mind that if you want to maintain a friendship and provide companionship to parents with disabled children, you must be willing to meet them on their terms most of the time.
Expect the relationship to be somewhat one-sided, and to make a greater effort to come to them than they make to come to you. , As long as the parents trust you to care for their child, babysitting can give the parents a chance to do things on their own or to simply relax and have some time to themselves.Parents often have difficulty finding babysitters they trust to care for their child.
They will be more likely to allow you to babysit if they know you understand their child's needs and how to keep the child safe and happy.
Perhaps more important, special needs children may react with fear or discomfort to strangers.
If the child knows and trusts you, they may feel more comfortable staying with you while their parents aren't around.
Parents also may feel guilty about leaving their child or doing things on their own.
They may worry about what might happen while they're gone.
Reassure them that everything will be fine, and that spending time on their own will renew their spirit and motivation. , Some parents are driven to conduct extensive research about their child's disability or diagnosis and the resources available locally.
Others may not have the time or the motivation – especially if they have other kids at home.Ask the parents about specific areas where you might research, or if there are any topics on which they could use more information.
You also may want to help them find information about support groups or local organizations that can provide assistance to their child.
Don't push them to take particular actions or join a particular group, as they may fear that you'll judge them or look down on them if they don't follow your suggestion.
Rather, look for more information on services that they express interest in.
For example, the mom might mention that she'd be interested in joining a support group for parents of children with disabilities.
You could say "That sounds like a good idea.
I'd be happy to research the groups in our area so you can pick the best one more easily."
The lives of the parents of a special needs child are often filled with appointments to doctors, therapists, and other healthcare professionals.
Going with them to these meetings allows them to focus on listening.At these meetings, parents are frequently inundated with information, and they may have difficulty processing it all at once.
If they're trying to listen, apply the information to their child, and take notes at the same time, they may miss out on something important.
You also can write down key words, bits of lingo, or other information they may want to research more in-depth after the meeting.
Taking notes also frees the parents from worrying about remembering everything said to them, so they can focus on what is said and ask the questions they need to ask to fully understand what the doctor or therapist is saying about their child.
About the Author
Zachary Harris
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow DIY projects tutorials.
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