How to Talk About Suicide Within the Family
Be honest., Talk about grieving., Discuss seeking help., Talk about memories of the person., Be appropriate with children.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be honest.
Unfortunately, suicide can carry a stigma with it that may prevent people from wanting to talk openly about it.
If your family has experienced the suicide of someone close to you, though, you need to talk about it in order to heal.
You can have this discussion if you are all honest about what happened and how it is affecting you.
Encourage family members to say “died by suicide” or similar phrases instead of euphemisms like “passed away that way”.
If a family member seems reluctant to talk about the suicide, you can try saying, “I know it’s hard to admit it.
Suicide can be a difficult to accept, but we need to in order to heal.” Talk about how you will tell people outside of the family about the suicide.
For example, you could say, “How will we tell friends and coworkers about the suicide?” Remember that you can simply tell others that the person just passed away. -
Step 2: Talk about grieving.
There are emotions that are common when you experience a loss due to a tragedy such as a suicide.
Understanding what you and your family may feel can help you cope as you grieve.When you talk about suicide within the family, talk about these feelings and how you will handle them as a family.
Talk about feeling denial, shock, anger, guilt, regret, resentment, shame, and confusion.
For instance, you might say something such as, “We will be feeling a lot of different things as we grieve.” Bring up ways that the family can work through the grief process together.
For example, you could say, “How can we help each work through the stages of grief?” , Family members may need assistance with various things during this time.
You or your relatives may need someone to talk, to handle everyday tasks, or to help with coping with the suicide.Talk with family members about when and how to seek help.
Tell family members that it’s okay to ask a counselor, religious leader, or friend for support.
Say something like, “There are people like grief counselors that can help us work through this.” Talk to the family about joining a support group or online forum.
For instance, you might say, “We can look into support groups for people going through similar experiences.” , Doing this will help you and your family heal from your loss and cope with the suicide.
It might also make it easier for some family members to open up more if they've been hesitant to discuss the death.
Share stories and thoughts that you have about the person with each other.
For instance, you might start it off by saying, “One of my favorite memories is from our childhood.” You can also talk about setting aside a formal time to share memories like at a ceremony or ritual.
Discuss ways to preserve your memories.
For example, you can talk about creating a group poem or scrapbook.
You can also memorialize your loved one by donating to a suicide prevention charity or by starting a charitable foundation in their name. , If there are children in your family that you need to talk to about suicide, you should be as honest as you feel comfortable and is appropriate.While you don’t have to go into detail, you do want to explain to them what happened, how it is affecting family, and how the family will cope with the suicide.
You might say, “He died by suicide.
It’s hard to understand and that’s why we’re talking about it.” Or you could try, “It’s okay to feel confused.
I do and so do other family members.
But, we will work through this.” Try to stick to the facts without judging the deceased.
Remember that the child may ask difficult questions.
Try to answer these as best you can.Children who experience a suicide should be provided with professional support to make sure they are coping with it okay. -
Step 3: Discuss seeking help.
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Step 4: Talk about memories of the person.
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Step 5: Be appropriate with children.
Detailed Guide
Unfortunately, suicide can carry a stigma with it that may prevent people from wanting to talk openly about it.
If your family has experienced the suicide of someone close to you, though, you need to talk about it in order to heal.
You can have this discussion if you are all honest about what happened and how it is affecting you.
Encourage family members to say “died by suicide” or similar phrases instead of euphemisms like “passed away that way”.
If a family member seems reluctant to talk about the suicide, you can try saying, “I know it’s hard to admit it.
Suicide can be a difficult to accept, but we need to in order to heal.” Talk about how you will tell people outside of the family about the suicide.
For example, you could say, “How will we tell friends and coworkers about the suicide?” Remember that you can simply tell others that the person just passed away.
There are emotions that are common when you experience a loss due to a tragedy such as a suicide.
Understanding what you and your family may feel can help you cope as you grieve.When you talk about suicide within the family, talk about these feelings and how you will handle them as a family.
Talk about feeling denial, shock, anger, guilt, regret, resentment, shame, and confusion.
For instance, you might say something such as, “We will be feeling a lot of different things as we grieve.” Bring up ways that the family can work through the grief process together.
For example, you could say, “How can we help each work through the stages of grief?” , Family members may need assistance with various things during this time.
You or your relatives may need someone to talk, to handle everyday tasks, or to help with coping with the suicide.Talk with family members about when and how to seek help.
Tell family members that it’s okay to ask a counselor, religious leader, or friend for support.
Say something like, “There are people like grief counselors that can help us work through this.” Talk to the family about joining a support group or online forum.
For instance, you might say, “We can look into support groups for people going through similar experiences.” , Doing this will help you and your family heal from your loss and cope with the suicide.
It might also make it easier for some family members to open up more if they've been hesitant to discuss the death.
Share stories and thoughts that you have about the person with each other.
For instance, you might start it off by saying, “One of my favorite memories is from our childhood.” You can also talk about setting aside a formal time to share memories like at a ceremony or ritual.
Discuss ways to preserve your memories.
For example, you can talk about creating a group poem or scrapbook.
You can also memorialize your loved one by donating to a suicide prevention charity or by starting a charitable foundation in their name. , If there are children in your family that you need to talk to about suicide, you should be as honest as you feel comfortable and is appropriate.While you don’t have to go into detail, you do want to explain to them what happened, how it is affecting family, and how the family will cope with the suicide.
You might say, “He died by suicide.
It’s hard to understand and that’s why we’re talking about it.” Or you could try, “It’s okay to feel confused.
I do and so do other family members.
But, we will work through this.” Try to stick to the facts without judging the deceased.
Remember that the child may ask difficult questions.
Try to answer these as best you can.Children who experience a suicide should be provided with professional support to make sure they are coping with it okay.
About the Author
Edward Myers
Specializes in breaking down complex pet care topics into simple steps.
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